| Suja |
| Always | Run To You | I Have Nothing | I Will Always Love You | Never Forget You | Love Of A Mother | Keep In Touch | Forever This Way | All Paths Lead To The Truth | Beginning Again | I Need You | Letting Her Go | Seeking Comfort | Chance Encounters | Stupid Warrior | Love Brings Reality Home | When I See You | Almost | Bringing Me To My Knees | How | This Is Letting Go | What A Year It's Been | I Believe | Writing What I'm Scared To Say | Regrets | Living Without You | Wrong Without You | Even After You're Gone |
| Regrets |
|
TITLE: Regrets AUTHOR: Suja suja@globalnet.co.uk SUMMARY: C/X...B/A mentions, C/D mention. Angsty, i guess DEDICATION: Jessi, Rodelyn, JenBird, Stephen, Cat. And everyone ON LWDS, i can't believe I actually found a C/X list! FEEDBACK....please DISCLAIMER: All Joss's. "Xander. My sweet Xander. Maybe you weren't rich. Maybe you weren't the scholar. Maybe you weren't anything that everyone wishes for. But you know, you're more. You're honest, brave, loyal, funny, and most of all you had this huge heart. One that took a while for someone to break through to, but once they were there, you never let go. You loved to the death. And when that death came, you cried, and you hurt, and you helped everyone else pick up the pieces. You just gave, and gave. And now you are gone. I spent all that time moaning because you were always thinking about Buffy, or Willow. It was really because I was scared you loved them more than me. But I realise now, that you didn't love any one of us more than the other. Willow was your sister, your childhood best friend, someone you knew would stand by you, til the bitter end. Buffy was your hero, your idol, your protector. I was your love. And we threw it away. I forgave you for kissing Willow. Almost straight after it happened. I just, I just didn't think I could handle the pain anymore. I loved, with all my heart for the first time, and you'll never know what it felt like to see you with Willow. I don't care anymore. I wish I had told you what I intended to, before I left Sunnydale. I love you, Xander. I always will. It's only now you're gone, I realise how precious you were to me. I lost Doyle, and I loved him, maybe not in the same way as I loved you, but he was sweet and funny, and the two of you were more alike than I realised at the time. Now you're gone too. And I need to stand here and tell you this. I don't know if you can still hear me, the doctors say you're gone, and its only the machinery thats keeping you alive. I hope that it wasn't painful, or at least as painless as a car accident can be. hmph. It's strange, you survived 8 years of fighting evil, to die at 24 in a car- crash. I'd better go, there's so many people who need to see you one last time. You never knew how loved and cherished you really were. I hope you're with Buffy. I'm alone, well as alone as a person can be when they've still got Willow, Oz, Wesley and Giles. I guess you know, Angel died a few months ago, but I can't feel bitterness for his death. He was in so much pain you know, without Buffy. And me, I used to think, I'll never love someone as much as he did Buffy, to not want to exist without them. But I always have. I've always loved you that much Alexander." She leant over him, brushing the stray dark lock out of his forehead and kissed him gently, one final time. I won't see your smile |
|
|
|
|
