Author: Sara at buffyased20@yahoo.com

Spoilers?: Season 3Angel...Waiting in the Wings...

Synopsis: Groo doesn't show up and Angel tells Cordelia his feelings for her and...well, read to see what happens.

Feedback: I love it I love it I love it. Er, sure why not?

Distribution: Take it if you want it, but send me the URL of where it will be!

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Angel smiled slightly as he turned from Wes' office. He was really happy that Gunn and Fred had found one another. He could feel some of the magic from the ballet still in the air.

Walking slowly into the lobby, his eyes rested on Cordy. She was busy wiping the small creases from her dress. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Angel walk in a study her. Awkwardness was something Cordy hardly ever felt...and she hated it when it overcame her. Ecspecially with someone she was so close with.

Clearing her throat, she forced a small smile. "Do you think I can still return it? Because otherwise we're gonna have to take on a lot more cases."

Angel, sensing her discomfort, took a step forward. "Cordy."

"You know, we should probably just not talk about...our little adventure." she hurried on, setting the dress carefully on the back of the couch. "Anything that might have been seen, anything that might have been, oh perky." Letting out a small laugh, Cordy felt the blush sweep across her cheeks.

Nodding, Angel turned away. "I just wanna pretend it never happened."

"Exactly." Cordelia agreed.

"Wipe it from my memory." Angel continued, although he wanted the exact opposite. 

Crossing her arms, Cordelia frowned. "What? Was it, like, disgusting?"

Angel turned suddenly towards Cordy, sensing his chance in the air. She looked at him expectantly, her eyebrows raised in question. "No! I, ah... I would, I would just want... If we were to..I would just want it to be...new. Start at the beginning." He cursed himself silently...he hated babbling.

Shaking her head, Cordy studied Angel's face. "Lost me in the middle."

Angel took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Cordy, you and I, we've been working together for...a long time." he smiled as Cordy laughed in agreeance. "What I mean is, you've become a truly extraordinary woman." Was he babbling? He didn't even know what was coming out of his mouth at the moment. "I know we haven't always gotten along, but, I think that we, you know, we..." he paused, searching for the right word.

"Grew?" Cordy offered, wondering where in the world Angel was going with this speech. Not that she minded the compliments, but when Angel started babbling, there was never an end in sight.

Angel smiled, pleased that Cordelia seemed to be on the same wavelength as him...that was always a good sign. "Yes! We, we, we grew. Closer together, I think..."

Sighing, Cordy sat down on the couch, resting her arms on her lap. Angel was stuttering. Angel never stuttered. He babbled, yes, but stuttering? Something was fishy...she hadn't heard Angel stutter like a school boy since...Cordy felt the color in her face drain. Oh dear Lord.

Noticing how pale Cordelia had gone, Angel swallowed audibly before taking a few steps towards her. Pausing a moment, he finally sat down next to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked , studying her face for any signs of replusion. Did she know what he was about to say?

Cordy stared ahead for a moment before turning to look at her friend. He was nervous...and she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. Smiling brightly, she nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What were you going to say?"

Licking his lips, Angel turned so he was facing her. He kept replaying Fred's comment in his head... It's only natural that you and she would be drawn to one another.

"Thing is," he began, squinting as he searched for the right words, "the thing is..."

"Angel, what's the thing?" Cordy asked impatiently, wanting to speed up the process.

Sensing he was about to lose his nerve, Angel turned his gaze back to her. "I think I'm in love with you." he held his non-exsistant breath while he tried to gauge her reaction.

Cordy stared at him for a moment, expressionless, before her face fell. "Oh, Angel..."

"Let me finish..." he interrupted, trying to ignore the nagging feeling of rejection in the pit of his stomach. "I know you probably haven't thought of me in any other way than a platonic friend, but I think if you just open your mind, you might feel the same way I do..."

Cordy placed her hand lovingly over his, glancing down for a moment as she tried to collect her thoughts.

Angel gazed down at their joined hands for a moment. "Kye-rumption..." he blurted out, sending out his thanks to Fred. He noticed Cordelia's confused look, intermingled with pity. "It's when two heroes realize their fate...and it's mutual attraction, because...well...they're heroes."

"Angel...you think you love me because of kryptonite?" she asked, wrinkling up her nose a bit.

He shook his head quickly, "No, no, Kye-rumption....it means that it's a natural thing for warriors to realize they are drawn to each other...like we are..."

She nodded slowly, biting her lip. When she was in high school, she had no problem rejecting. And she did it. A lot. But she was a grown woman now, and she actually had a conscience...and she loved Angel. Enough that she didn't want to hurt him in anyway. But she was also his friend, and she wasn't going to admit to something that didn't exsist.

"Angel, we're not...'fated'..." she started slowly, studying his face, "I'm not...a 'warrior'. I was never meant to have the visions remember? Powers That Be slept in a little too long and missed out on that moment. I got them by chance...and the only reason I can fight like I do...is because of you." she added with admiration, "I'm just a normal girl...with visions...and who's half-demon..."

Angel smiled as she trailed off in confusion. He squeezed her hand softly. "That's what I love about you. You're so strong and independent. You're so brave for taking on everything that you have. To help people...to help me. Don't you ever wonder why?"

She nodded. "Yes, because I love helping those who need it...and you need my help."

"I do need you Cordy...and..."

"I'm not one to take the second best seat, Angel..." she interrupted, surprising him. Her tone had changed from quiet to firm.

"What do you mean...?" he asked, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Angel, it's just really hard to believe that you're in love with me...when only six months or so ago you saw..."

"Buffy. Cordy, it's over with Buffy...I have to move on..." he tried to explain, forcing the memory of that night out of his mind.

"Why?" she asked, pulling her hand from his, "Because you want to? Or because she told you to?"

Angel was silent for a few moments, before he stood up and walked slowly to Cordy's desk. He had been foolish to think he could discuss this with Cordelia, without Buffy's name popping up. He should have known it was inevitable.

Sighing, Cordelia walked over to where Angel stood. "I guess it's not fair to imply I would feel the same if...she...didn't exsist, because...I'm sorry, but I wouldn't..."

He looked down at her, his unbeating heart softening. "I'm sorry I put you in this kind of position, Cordelia."

She gave him a small smile, touching his arm gently. "I'm glad you told me...if only it had been four years ago..." she joked.

She thought for a moment when he remained silent. "Don't get upset...but, if I'm right..and Buffy did pretty much say it's over...maybe you threw all your feelings you had for her, into your feelings for me. If you think about it, and work some things out, maybe you'll realize you don't love me as much as you think you do." she paused. "Are things going to be weird between us?"

"Of course not..." he smiled weakly, turning away from her eyes. She rubbed his arm in comfort, turned, and headed for the stairs, grabbing her dress on the way.

"She didn't even smile..." he muttered, fiddling with some items on Cordy's desk.

She stopped on the first step and turned to look at him in confusion. "What?"

"Buffy," he called over his shoulder before turning away once more, "she didn't even smile..when we met."

Cordelia lay her dress across the railing and slowly made her way back to Angel. He hadn't spoken to anyone of the meeting he shared with Buffy. She, Gunn and Wesley had all discussed what had probably went on, but since he returned, he hadn't mentioned her once.

"She was different somehow...distant. When I hugged her, I felt warmth but at the same time...she was cold."

"Angel," Cordy said softly, "she just returned from the dead...she's probably got some issues."

"I don't know...maybe." he sighed. "I told her I loved her. And she said nothing..."

"I'm sorry..." she frowned. Figures...Buffy was always thinking about herself...she always....

"I understand it, but I didn't want to accept it..." Angel continued, snapping Cordy out of her thoughts, "She did what you said...she told me to move on, that she realized then that everything we had was gone forever. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I agreed. And when I came back, I did what she told me too...I tried to move on. And you...you were so..."

"Strong, beautiful and independent?" she finished for him, laughing softly, "You told me. But, Angel, it's arrogant to think that I would fall for you...knowing that I would never have your heart completely. We both know it belongs to Buffy, and always will. Three years of friendship doesn't equal half of what you and Buffy shared."

She continued when he said nothing, "I think you should call her...one more time. Ask her what you need to ask her, get some closure if you need too..."

He turned to Cordy and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you. For always being there for me." he told her softly.

Closing her eyes, Cordelia hugged him back. "You're welcome...and you know what best friends do for each other?"

"What's that?" Angel asked, pulling back to look at her.

"Well...there's this GREAT new outfit at Bebe's...it's on sale and everything...." she told him as they walked together into Wes' office. Angel listened to her chatter on about matching shoes, although his mind was focused on someone else. Cordy was right...he should call her. He knew now Buffy would always be a part of him, no matter how hard he tried to push her away, or she him.

He watched his friends laugh and joke together and smiled. They were his family. But, Buffy was his past, present...and maybe...future. He would just have to get her to see that...someday.