Title: Curtain Call (episode 5/22)

Author: Imogene

Disclaimer: All the characters for the BtVS verse and the AtS verse belong to Joss Whedon, Marti Nixon, David Greenwalt, UPN, WB etc etc. New characters all belong to me.

Distribution: Beths site "First Time For Everything", anyone else, just ask

Dedication: To Beth for all her help and ideas, I couldnt have done it without her

Summary: Cordelia finally gets her big acting break, but does she want it anymore?

Notes: This is going to be like a season of Angel, set 2 years in the future (hence season 5) Ive got a lot of back-story of whats happened to all the significant characters both Scooby Gang and the A-Team thats important to read to understand whats going on. This takes place anytime after "Couplet" - the prophecy "The father will kill the son" never happened, Connor is still with Angel, fully human and now 2 years old. If you really cant be bothered to read it, you at least need to know Dawns been living with Angel for the past 2 years and Wesley and Fred are engaged

Rating: PG-14, in this ep. There are certain scenes of moderate violence in this episode

***~~~***

"I swear, sometimes this job seems to loose its charm" Cordelia moaned as she wiped the bright blue slime off the broadsword. "I mean I come here to be an actress and end up helping a 250 year old brooding vamp with a soul. Not what the careers day guide predicted"

"Weren't you said to be a motivational speaker?" grinned Buffy, Cordelia merely scowled "Yes I was so thrilled. But then at least I wasnt predicted law enforcement" she smiled sweetly and Buffy instantly sobered. "Well its not like I'll ever have a real carrier anyhow, I mean slaying - life long gig. I mean think about it can I have a few days off work, I need to research and then defeat the hoards from hell or well had the Apocalypse coming, thanks its hardly practical."

"When did you exactly give up being an actress?" Buffy asked curiously

"Round about the time I had my first vision. It was at a national commercial no less! Stain B Gone. I mean starting to scream and cry in pain in the middle of an audition doesnt get you any brownie points" Cordelia pointed out. "Course I still went to auditions and stuff, who knows I couldve had a lucky break. Instead I end up working with a broody vamp and a book worm. What a life!" she groused

"You love it" grinned Buffy

"Wouldn't change it for the world" she agreed automatically with a smile. "I really should stop wearing decent shoes to dismemberments though. Gucci dont really refund due to a demon poo accident" she sighed as she removed the slime encrusted object and flopped in the nearest chair.

"Talk about a busy night" sighed Gunn, as he dropped his axe down on the floor

"I've have to agree" moaned Wesley who staggered in with his hand placed on his back. "I think I've thrown my back out again" he moaned. Cordelia rolled her eyes, where was the stiff-upper lip? Men were such wusses! "If you have, you can take yourself to casualty. I'm not waiting six hours with nothing to do" she snarked, not moving from her position. "You wouldn't get that treatment in England" he retorted

"No, you'd have to wait ten hours there" she zinged back. Wesley sighed, he was too exhausted to get into a verbal cat-fight as Cordelia put it.

"I'd hoped weve have tonight off, I needed to catch up on my reading" Buffy and Cordelia grinned at each other, while Fred guided him over to a chair. Wes grimaced as he leaded back gingerly "And what exactly is it that your reading that so riveting?" asked Cordelia, all-too pleasantly for Wesley's liking "You wouldn't be interested in the slightest and stop looking at me like that, oh alright! Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban if you must know" admitted Wesley, his voice becoming almost sheepish "Aren't those kids books?" sniggered Cordy

"Certainly not!" spluttered Wesley indignantly

"They're cool, its got the whole wizard mojo going on, even if it is British" Gunn said defending Wes. Cordelia shrugged to tired to argue. At that moment Angel came in, definitely the worst for wear. Cordelia wrinkled her nose his disgust. He's got the worst of the slime which had the most disgusting smell. Ever - and that included Xanders locker contents. Angel himself didn't look too pleased at the responses he got, even Buffy couldnt conceal a grimace. "Fine, I can take a hint, I'll take a shower" he groused.

"Much appreciated" wheezed Wesley as Angel went off upstairs.

At that moment dawn came in holding her nose "Oh man I think I'm gonna barf. What the small - eau de road-kill?" she grimaced.

"Yeah well the Methuen demon aint well know for its personal hygiene" quipped Gunn, looking at his axe in disgust.

"Oooh! I forgot you got a message while you guys were out Cordy" Cordelia raised an eyebrow at that, who would call her- only her friends had a number and they were all with her. Not even her family knew her new number, and she was unlisted in the phone book. "Who was it?" she asked, curiosity and a little bit of worry creeping in.

"Umm some guy called Haydon or Giovanni - anyway he had a really weird name, somewhere in Europe I think. He told me what was it? Oh yeah that they want your reply by Monday"

"My reply to what? Didn't you write down the message?" Cordelia groaned

"I remember when you werent all that competent at message taking" grinned Wesley, and was rewarded with a scowl. "Just a sec, I wrote it down. OK, hes from a company called Trinity Films. He said you auditioned for a part in some one shot drama or something but you were second choice for one of the characters, anyway the lead role has drop out - i.e. got fired for being a stroppy cow and now the part goes straight to you, they want to know if youre free to start filming" Dawn finished looking at Cordelia "You're being given the chance to be a movie star!" gasped Fred, gazing dreamily out the window "Just imagine all that glamour and pampering".

Cordelia on the other hand looked shell shocked. "I cant believe this" she whispered. "I'd kinda given up being an actress ages ago. When the visions started I knew I couldnt really be an actress and now I'm getting the chance of a lifetime"

"What the role?" asked Gunn curiously, shed mentioned the audition briefly but by the tie she'd done the audition she hadnt been seriously expecting any results. "It was for the part of umm" to her embarrassment Cordelia found she couldnt remember, the audition couldnt have been that long ago, six months or so? Six months ago she wouldnt have forgot an audition, twelve months ago she would have been thanking every god and power that be in the heavens, but now things were different. There were still the visions, true they were easier to manage but they were still a pain, could she realistically take a part when she could have a vision at any moment? Anyway filming could take forever and she would be needed at Angel Investigations. In Sunnydale she had always done what she wanted and damn the consequences, shed had no obligations to anyone else, but that had all changed.

She wasn't a champion like Buffy or Angel, she had more of a life than those to put together, which even then wasnt much to boast about. Still champion or not Angel still needed her. Her mind drifted briefly back to Angels I've-got-to-save-Darlas-soul-and-if-you-get-in-my-way-I'll-fire-your-asses era, when he had threatened to fire her <"you can't fire me, I'm vision girl!"> she'd replied smugly. It was true Angel needed her visions to help make amends yet she needed Angel to have a sense of purpose, until the acting offer comes along. She thought to herself. Wouldn't it be possible to manage both? Surely actors dont spend their entire lives doing just films and stuff. Perhaps she could pretend she was epileptic or something to explain the visions? She could tell Angel over the phone and the rest of the A-Team could fight it. That would work. There was Buffy, Angel and Faith who were physically strong and quite a team themselves, Gunn and Lorne werent exactly weak either. Wes and Fred between knew about every demon all she had to do was give the message. It wasn't like the series was going to have to play the same character for six years or something, and it was possible that this would be her only (legitimate) chance for celebrity, but could she leave her friends behind?

"Cor?" prompted Dawn, shaking her out of her mind wanderings

"Wha?" she yelped as if someone had stuck a pin in her

"Calm down, you just looked a little lost in your thoughts" explained Dawn. "You were telling us about the part, he said the characters called" she searched the scribbled message for the name for a moment"Aha! She's called Irenie - well Irene but she's called Irenie by everyone. Irenie Carpenter. Her fiancé - Patrick is an alcoholic. The guy said the series was about" she began, then continued in a dramatically deep voice " A young woman dealing with several traumas in her life suddenly discovers she has the ability to communicate with the dead, those trapped in limbo, - they are between worlds he said it was only gonna be a one-shot drama. Its called "Possessed" apparently she's really unhappy and that's why she can she the dead - plus her granddad had some weird mojo deal going on - he could do it too. It sounds so cool! They want you to leave today if you want the job. Ohmigod!! They provide you with a whole wardrobe of clothes that you get to keep so you dont even need to take your own clothes. God! I'd kill for that!" Dawn moaned melodramatically

"Yeah, it sounds great" murmured Cordelia, she still couldnt quite believe what was happening, she was going to be an actress Cordelia Chase from Sunnydale - an actress. Wow.

"What's great?" asked Angel coming down the stairs, freshly showered

"Cordys gonna be an actress!" squeaked Fred excitedly. "She's been offered this major part in a T.V. one-shot drama about this woman who can talk to the dead. Kinda like the that girl in "Casper" only shes all grown up with a drunken fiancé" Fred explained breathlessly. "Oh um that's great Cordy." He managed. Truthfully he didn't know what to think, talk about bombshells being dropped! Cordelia looked at him apprehensively. He'd be the person most affected by her absence after all.

He couldn't believe it, Cordelia was really leaving him to be an actress, she once told him her job was only temporary when she first moved to L.A. - then after five years they kinda forgot about the temporary bit. Of course he wouldnt force her to stay, she deserved a chance of fame and fortune. A chance to get out of this high risk job. He sometimes forgot she was only twenty three. She had been with him since she was nineteen and lost a lot of her childhood innocence and dreams. Surely she deserved to keep this one? She hadn't asked for visions that had almost killed her at one point - or to loose all her money, anymore than Buffy or Faith had asked to been the Slayer and had their lives uprooted. Cordelia, Buffy, Faith, Gunn, Xander, Willow, Oz - they'd all lost their innocence early and gained wisdom far too early. He grieved for that lost innocence. The spark of mischief in Buffys eyes - arrogance in Cordelias eyes, they were gone. They were older, sadder - wiser yes but was that wisdom worth their lost innocence?

Now he had the chance to let her go, make her own life to be an actress, what shed always wanted. Cordelia remembered when she'd first joined Angel in L.A. It seemed a lifetime ago, but in reality was only five yearswhat had she said to him? That it was temporary - "of course this is only temporary until my inevitable stardom takes effect" Helping Angel had only been meant to be a gap-stop, pay the bills until she got something better. But things didnt go to plan. She'd grown closer to Angel and Doyle oh God she still missed him. Those blue eyes, way too much whiskey and hideous dress sense, but he had been a good friend to her. Loved her without pretension like so many of the jerks shed dated in High School. She loved Wesley, Gunn and Fred. She'd missed Buffy and like Lorne, hell she could even put up with Faith without wanting to bitch-slap her now. But sometimes she still missed the family she, Angel and Doyle had made, just the three of them. They had become closely knit in those few months, sharing near-death experiences tended to bring people closer. Or even when it was her, Angel and Wesley. It had been cosy as the watcher would say.

Coming to L.A. was supposed to chance her life, make up for all the bad karma shed got in Sunnydale. True her life had changed, just not the way shed originally intended. For her first - perhaps slightly into her second year in L.A. she had been utterly convinced she would make it as a star but never quite got to the last audition, then the vision started her any remaining dreams she had of stardom had gradually faded away.

Now she was finally given a chance to fulfil her dream and she was still thinking about it. Turning to Angel she looked at him sadly. "Cordy, if you want to do this, I understand. Youve bean with me for five years and need to move on, I get that-" he began, but Cordelia held up her hand, silencing him "Angel I don't know what Im gonna do. A year ago, I woulda jumped at this chance, but things change. I want to take it, but I dont wanna leave you guys. If this series is a success they may want me for other things or other people may hire me. Im still gonna have visions no matter what, I cant get rid of them and whats the point of visions if I can't tell them to a broody vamp to go do something about?" she smiled gently. "I don't want to leave you guys behind"
"But Cordy, you may never get another opportunity like this. Life is too short, Darla was 400 she didnt get to do everything she wanted to in all that time, nor have I. I want you to take this part, if you want to." He said seriously. "I gonna miss you too, but this isnt something you can just pass up, besides you can use those mobile thingies right? So you can just call me after a vision. Well manage, trust me" he grinned. Cordelia paused for a second "But-"

"Cordelia! Do you want this part or not?" he asked exasperated

"Yeah but-"

"Then take it, seize the day" he grinned. Cordy smiled through her tears at him.
"I'm gonna miss you big guy" she whispered as she reached over to hug him tightly. "I'll promise to call" she grinned "Maybe you can even e-mail me with Freds help" she joked. Turning to the rest of her friends she paused. "So you're really going huh?" said Gunn, trying to smile but failing. He was gonna miss his girl. "Yeah, Angel clearly wants to get rid of me" she smiled. "I'll tell you about all the hunky guys I'm gonna be working with" she teased.

"Oh really? When I'm surrounding with all these beautiful women, without you shouldn't you be worried?" he teased gently "Besides you'll getta a whole lotta noise about all the hunky monsters were slincin and dicing back here while you're living the high life Ms Chase" he smirked "I'm gonna miss you" she said, her smile waning and tears beginning to fill her eyes. "Me too baby. Youll stay in touch huh? We kinda still need your visions" he said gently as he kissed her. Cordelia wrapped her arms round him, next to Angel Gunn was probably the hardest to leave. She said her goodbyes to Wesley, Fred, Dawn and then turned to Buffy. "I'm really gonna miss you Buffy" she grinned. "Same here, but yknow youre not going to England or something" she grinned "Sides thanks to the wonders of e-mails and mobiles you can keep us up to date on Hollywood. We need some info on celebs" she grinned "The juicy stuff" she added as an extra thought. When she went to hug Buffy, Cordelia whispered "Take care, both you and Angel"

"Always do" Buffy replied

"Uh the cabs here" Dawn offered "I kinda ordered one before you guys got back" she admitted sheepishly. At Cordelia's disbelieving eyes she rolled her eyes "Hey! Its Hollywood - acting. Please dont tell me you were seriously considering not going" she snorted, with a dismissive wave. "Anyway I've gotta have something to tell myself friends, the whole I live with a souled vamp and my sisters the slayer is getting really old" she grinned. Cordelia couldnt help grinning back. She sometimes forgot what weird lives they all lead. "Make sure you guys take care of Connor, and don't forget to stay in touch"

"Like you'd ever let us forget" grinned Gunn. Cordelia gently slapped him, then wrapped her arms round him and kissed him once more . "Ugh you're as bad as Buffy and Angel, save the PDAs for when the minors not looking" moaned Dawn, pulling a face. Causing her to get glares from all four. "minor, yeah right" muttered Buffy under her breath. Cordelia gave a quick wave as she got in the cab. As the cab began to slowly drive off, Cordelia kept looking at her waving friends until they were out of sight. The cab driver turned to her "Y'know I once had Mathew McConeky in this cab" he offered. Cordelia simply smiled pleasantly.this was gonna be a long ride

***

Cordelia gazed around her in amazement - the studio was huge. "Ah Ms Chase!" came a high masculine voice. Turning around she saw a thin man coming towards her, he kinda reminded her of Lorne, only without the sincerity. "Uh hi" she said a little uncertainly. "Mr Belafont wanted you to know he really appreciated you coming all the way down here at such short notice.. Hmmm nice shoes my dear, of course they are rather two seasons ago, but we can't help that. We're gonna start shooting today as we really need to get things going, the sooner we get you some newer shoes the better" Cordelia tried to smile back, she didn't like this guy. two seasons ago?! humph well if he was busy saving the world every night he wouldnt be as bothered about shoes and it wasnt like she didnt try to keep up, and just didnt have the time - or money to constantly change her wardrobe every season.

"Is that why you flirting with my new co-star?" came an amused voice. A young man stepped out in front of the thin man and grinned at Cordelia, extended his hand she shook it. "Hi, I'm Jamie Radcliff. Im playing Patrick. Take no notice of Phillipe he's like that with everyone. Anyway hes obsessed about shoes."

"Thanks, I'm Cordelia its nice to meet you" she smiled, this time it was genuine. Perhaps this acting thing wouldn't be so bad after all. "We better take you to meet the Boss and your other co-stars. Besides you and me there's probably five other main characters. Michael - your father, Francesca Lokerby - an idealistic cop, Rosalyn - a mystic, Gregory - your kinda mystical guide and Theresa - your best friend. Theyre all dying to meet you" Jamie smiled.

"Sounds great um did my agent inform the crew and cast that I ummsometimes suffer from kinda well seizures?" she asked tentatively. She could just imagine what would happen if she had a vision in the middle of shooting, of which there was probably a 99.9% chance of happening. "Yeah your agent Angelo? said you suffer occasional epilepsy attacks but nothing serious. Just let the crew know if youre uncomfortable and well stop shooting" thank you Angel she sighed mentally to herself.

****

Cordelia flopped into her chair, absolutely exhausted after the days shooting. Twenty five takes for one measly five minute scene. <<"that was great but we need to take in from a different angle, more emotion Ms Chase"

"Just one more take">> it went on and on. At this rate theyd be lucky if they finished the damn series by next year. Some of her co-stars werent much better either. She suddenly felt a pang in her chest. She missed her friends. None of them had their heads stuck up their asses. She wished Lorne was here. Perhaps he could've advised her whether to stay or leave. She wasn't sure she could take another seven weeks of this. It didn't help that Nicola, one of her co-stars had an ego the size of Australia and needed it constantly stroked, that woman had to be the snootiest bitch shed ever seen, well OK not as bitchy and snooty as Lilah or Darla but nearly. And she was hot - from a girls perspective. It wasnt like she was a great big lesbo like Willow or anythingor was Willow bi-sexual cause of Oz? She wondered if Nicola was straight or bi. She'd seemed very interested in whether she was single or not, not to mention her chest, yet she didnt exactly try to keep her hands off Jamie either. She could just imagine Gunn's face or not. Truthfully she just wanted to be back home with her friends and fighting evil every night. Pausing for a moment she picked up the phone and shrugged, all phone calls were charged to the company after all.

The phone rang a couple of time before someone picked it up "Angel Investigations-"

"We help the hopeless" she finished, a big grin spreading over her face.

"Cordy!" yelped Buffys voice happily. "I didn't think you'd call so soon, you've only been there a couple of days. What's it like being a big movie star?" she teased

"It's....great. Irenie is actually a really interesting character, nothing like me. I mean she doesnt even know what Gucci is - she thought it was a fruit! We get all this total VIP treatmentand the guys I work with arecool. Jamies really nice, he plays the drunken boyfriend. He'd really cute - think Matthew McConacay meets Ryan Phillipe, Gunn would not be happy. It's great"

"Then why am I having difficulty believing that?" Buffy suggested. More than anyone she knew about denial, she also knew Cordelia. This wasn't Cordelia happy "OK you got me." She sighed, her voice sounding unhappy and deflated "Cordelia, you know this has been your dream since I've known you, and you don't sound like someone who's achieved their dream"

"Thats cause it isnt how I dreamed it Buffy. Its nothing like I thought it would be, I thought it was be a quick shot once a day and then parties in the evening. In fact it takes forever to do one stupid scene. Like today I was in this like five minute scene which had to be shot twenty five times. The director Josh is never satisfied, cause well he's an artiste.....or likes to think he is. Phillipe the wardrobe guy is gayer than they come and keep telling everyone off for having shoes two seasons old. Nicola one of my co-stars is I think kinda gay, I mean she was staring at my chest, right at it the way guys do, then shes all drappy hanging off Jamie. Its sick. I swear the girls got an ego bigger than Lilah well slightly smaller but getting there. Shes got this I'm-so-innocent thing going for her and everyone loves her. I mean shes supposed to be my best friend in this. I can't stand her! The only nice one is Jamie, but he spends practically all his scenes slapping me around or drunk so we dont get to explore a lot of chemistry on set"

"He hits you?!" gasped Buffy. She heard about he co-star playing a drunk but nothing about him being abusive

"Yeah. Those scenes are really draining. I actually feel like I'm being abused, Patrick - Irenies boyfriend is a real bastard. He abuses her physically and emotionally. The worst thing is shes starting to believe it, she thinks she useless because he keeps telling her that. It really affects Jamie to. I remember I started crying a few days ago cause it felt so real I guess" she admitted, it felt good to talk to Buffy, to get it all off her chest. Since she'd come to L.A. she'd actually been able to become friends with Buffy

"Buffy are you OK?" she ventured when she got no response.

"Yeah, fine" she rasped, as she felt hot tears trickle down her checks <<she's starting to believe it>> God how much could she identify with what Cordelia was saying about Irenie, it could have been written for her and Spike. Abusive relationship to the core. She'd hit him, yelled at him, hated him and hed hit back - only he did it more mentally. Told her she didnt belong in the daylight any more, she belong with creatures of the night. Him. He'd worn her down until Buffy had almost gone and only the slayer remained. Hearing Cordelia talk about Irenie cut her deeper than she realised. It had hurt to hear Cordelia was playing such a vulnerable character, and that she they slayer was no better. She'd let Spike abuse her.

Her mind drifted back to her final year of high school, shed found out a girl at her school was being abused by her boyfriend Pete, yet she wouldnt leave him cause she loved him, she'd insisted that he loved her too. She hadn't been able to understand how Debbie could let Pete do that to herto loose her pride and self-worth. She remembered her and Willow finding Debbie trying to conceal a bruise in the bathroom, what had she said? <"you know a good cure for that? Don't get hit"> the frankness of those words came back full force. She'd violated her own code because shed allowed herself to become a victim.

"I just think its really sad" Buffy explained in a faint croak. Suddenly Cordelia realised just why Buffy had wigged out. Angel had told her about Spike abusing her. At first shed been absolutely amazed, Buffy had never let anyone abuse herthen seeing Buffy around them for the first two weeks or so she'd began to understand why Buffy had let Spike abuse her. It had taken her a long time to get past the whole "I'm-not-worth-anything" angle and onto the "I'm-the-slayer-and-take-no-crap-from-Anyone" of which Queen C herself had been instrumental in bringing about. She had always admired Buffys self assurance and shed been damned if she let Buffy believe she deserved to be hit. No woman (or man or kid for that matter) deserved to be hit. Thats why two long years ago shed teamed up with Lilah-the-Skanky-lawyer to fight woman-hater Billy. Not even Lilah deserved to be hit. She felt a pang of sympathy wash through her for everything Buffy had had to go through, and regretted speaking so casually about Irenies abuse scenes.

"Oh God, Buffy I'm sorry I guess I didn't think it'd affect you so much, cause of Spike and everything. I'm really sorry"

"Forget it. I'm putting Spike behind me, he's not worth me ruining my life over. Besides its the new Buffy. Hopefully Spike will accidentally dust himself."

"OK so happy topics. What's going on in L.A. and please say its more exciting than here" she groaned dramatically

"Well, we sorted out the vision you sent us, turns out it was a Kolashi demon, nasty fire breathing things. Doesn't help that theyve got eyes in the back of their heads. Literally. Then Connor swallowed a button from Wes's coat and had to be taken to the emergency room to get in removed. You should have been there. Angel was panicking trying to get Connor to say what had happened, Wesley kept apologising, Fred was blabbing on about where the button would be in his systemin the end Faith just got annoyed and took him to the emergency room with Angel and Wesley running after her. Turns out the little guys fine. He thought it was really fun and keeps bugging Angel to take him to hospital again. He likes the big twolly and the big woman in the green dress with the hairy arms and face and he got a "I am brave" badge from the staff. They were completely entranced with him, course Angel was the whole proud dad thing. What else it's been pretty quite around here actually. Wolfram Hart decided to pay us a visit as well, in the form of Ms "Too much lipgloss" apparently Lilah has some useful information for us on Angel that Gavin Parks needs for a promotion that she doesn't want him to have so she'd bringing it to us. She's certainly got a busy timetable between trying to kill Angel, fire Gavin and appealing more lip-gloss than her lips can handle" Buffy chuckled bitterly "You know she tried to actually hit on Angel in front of me. She actually thinks just cause he almost had sex with her on Wess' desk when an old man possessed his body that he's ready for a full blown re-try" she snarked

"Skanky ho" growled Cordelia "Dont worry Buffy, Angel prefers his women a) natural and b) non evil, and Lilah is neither. Not even Darla as a human could tempt him except for when he was at the bottom of his emotional breakdown and really thats nothing to boast about, so I really wouldnt worry" she grinned "Anything else happen?"
"Dawn went on a date"

"Oooh! Who's the guy?!" she squealed, this was what she missed most, girl talk. Since Dawn had been living with them their had been quite a few dates, but none of the guys had satisfied Dawn's demands, in her words they were like eight year olds trying to act like nineteen year old, and kissed really sloppily

"He's called Michael, eighteen years old. Blond hair, quarter back rather buff, etc etc. Typical jock. Angel really wasnt happy, he didn't like Michael and made Dawn promise to be back by ten, turns out Michael wanted to land her as he had a bet with his friend. Unfortunately when he tried to push things she gave him a kick in the sensitive area Angel was so smug when he heard what happened. You know the whole I knew I got a weird vibe off him blah blah blah. I swear sometimes it's like having a dad and a psychic rolled into one around."

"I know, he can be so over protective! He'd rip a guys throat out if he felt any of us were being taken advantage of-"

"Well hes got that whole masculine-I-must-protect-my-woman- white-knight thing going for him" Buffy grinned "Remember when he rescued us from that demon snake, Makida? He was sooo pissed - well according to Will he was anyway. He just beat the crap out of any guy that tried to get in his way."

"Yeah, I was once at the shooting of an ad I got, for sunscreen or something like that, anyway the director was such an ass-hole. He didn't believe I actually ate!! He just treated me like a toy, I had to wear this really - really revealing bikini, and he kept going lean forward my boobs were practically hanging out of my top. Unfortunately Angel had tagged along. He could see the director was giving me a hard time, and I think he was kinda shocked about the bikini, cause yknow - Angel. Anyway this was during his grovelling so-sorry-I-fired-you stage. He actually offered to rip the guys throat out for meit was so sweet in a kinda gruesome, disturbing imagery kinda way, although I wasnt exactly grateful at the timet hen this other time I went on a date with this guy Wilson Christopher-"

"Wait the Wilson Christopher? Famous photographers to the stars?" gasped Buffy in disbelief. "Yeah, but he's a total creep. He actually impregnated me with this demon spawn thingie, I woke up nine months pregnant, I tell you it was not pretty. I actually drank blood as in red type A stuff it was so gross. Anyway Angel had been getting a weird vibe off him and he was acting all protective towards me around Wilson, this was before the demon pregnancy thing" Cordelia began, as the two settled down for a long girl talk.

****

Cordelia stood in apprehension, only a few camera men, the director and Jamie were in the room. She was glad, these scenes were never easy - in fact if anything they got harder. "You OK?" asked Jamie gently, he knew how wearying these scenes were for her, it was hard for him as well. "OK people we want to do this as quickly as possible. I dont want to have to re-take this scene for obvious reasons, unless I have to. Right, Cordelia remember Jamies just come in from the pub, youve recently discovered about this whole communicating-with-the-dead, and you've just heard about your dad, which no one else yet knows about and youre obviously still reeling from shock, you basic have switched off from whats going on around you, everything become too much for you. Of course you, Jamie dont notice this, when Patrick comes home from the pub, all he sees is his worthless girlfriend who hasnt tided up. Well start from page 12." Cordelia took a deep breath and positioned herself on he sofa, curled up into a foetal-like ball wasnt really that difficult considering how crappy she felt. Jamie didnt look much better. Feeling so helpless was almost a foreign concept to hershed never really felt helpless, even when she knew about vampires. They'd always been Buffy to take care of that, then in L.A. shed got Angel to protect herbut this was different. An abusive relationship wasnt something that could be got rid of with a staking or a beheading. "OK, take places please andaction!"

Jamie banged on the door, his thumping made the door shake, "Irene open the bloody door!" he hollered, his speech clearly slurring. "I'm warning youget your butt out here fore ah kick it!" he growled. Looking up she felt that she couldnt move, counting to three the door crashed opened and Jamie came in, clutching a bottle and taking a slug out of it. "Why the hell didn't you answer the fucking door?!" he yelled moving towards her. Still he got no answer from her "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" he sneered, the alcohol was beginning to wear off him now, that was one of the things about Patricks character, he could certainly hold his liquor.

Within two strides he was against the sofa. "Why the hell haven't you cleaned up?! It looks like a bomb dropped on it! When I came in I want a clean house, understand?" he growled at her circled up figure. Jamie felt almost physically sick doing these scenes. He couldn't understand what kind of man enjoyed hurting a woman. Normally he would have passed over a roll like this but that fact was men did beat up their wives or girlfriends. It wasnt a thing that couldnt be ignored, the was one of the main purposes of this drama to bring to light that this kind of thing was still happening to women all over the world. Talking-to-the-dead aside from that obviously. Forcing down his hatred for the next part he knew had to follow, a look of fury crossed his face, and his lips consorted into a snarl. Grabbing her arm he hauled her roughly up "Answer me when I speak to you!" he bellowed, still he got no response. His eyes darted round the room, not noticing the tears beginning to form in her eyes. His eyes flashing in anger when he finally looked back at her, he swung his arm, causing his fist to connect with her jaw and she felt a stinging pain. She knew instinctively that she had rolled with the punch and Jamie had been holding back but it didnt make it any easier "What's wrong with you, answer me!?!" yet another stinging blow.

"I-I-I" she stuttered, hardly able to speak for the tears rolling down her checks, she was almost hysterical at this point. "I-I-Immm s-s-ssorrry" she stuttered barely able to the words out as lowered his fist "thats better" he grinned, looking at Cordelia cowering beneath him "I want you to tell me why this place isnt tidy, and I don't want any sniffling or stuttering, understand?" he warned her, if possible sounding even more frightening then when he had kicked her door down. She knew from the notes that when Patrick went quiet, that was the time to be afraid really afraid. She looked up at him a terrified expression crossing her face"and cut! OK everyone thats enough. Well go on Nicola and Terrys scene." Walking over to Cordelia and Jamie the directors heart went out to both of them. He knew how gruelling and demanding these scenes were for them. "You guys did great. We're not gonna shot that scene against, and I don't think you - or the crew could do another take anyway" he added sagely before walking away.

Perhaps he wasnt Satan after all Cordelia wondered, relief flooding over her that it was finally over. She didn't have the strength in her to do another scene like that, thankfully that was the most violent scene in the drama. Most of it was innuendo and suggestion. There were very few actual violence scenes in it, unfortunately those that were showed pulled no punches, no pun intended. "Are you OK?" ventured Jamie, as they made their way to their trailers and sat down. He watched Cordelia wipe away her tears and felt sorrow beginning to well up inside of him. It was all too easy to get too involved in a role "I'm sorry, it's just-"

"Emotionally draining? Sickening?" he offered smiling sadly. Cordelia simply nodded. "Look we've only got a few more days of filming left, I wanted you to know I think youve done a really great job, coming in at the last minute and throwing yourself into this role. Very few actresses could do that" he said seriously. At that Cordelia smiled slightly

"You can carry on, you know anything praise worthy about my talents, looks or general personality is loved, and more importantly expected" she grinned. She could begin to feel the tension seeping away from her. "Why do you think she let's him? I just dont understand how she could have let herself be hit and not defend herself, I mean no woman starts off life thinking she allow herself to be abused" Cordelia asked, seriousness come back to her face. Jamie sighed "I don't know. Shes messed up, perhaps in some twisted way she thinks Patrick still loves herthat fact that even when he is hitting and shouting at her he is paying her attention is better than nothing I guess to her anyway."

"She's so afraid of being lonely and unloved that she'll put up with Patrick's attacks so she wont be alone" mused Cordelia, and felt her heart ache for her character. "I guess I could kinda understand tha tbut it's so twisted and warped. No normal person could think like that"

"Yeah but what kind of monster you have to be to want to hurt someone in the first place?" Jamie wondered aloud

They can be surprisingly human Cordelia thought to herself. When she considered all the demons, vampires, demon snakes, lawyers - all the evils she had faced both in Sunnydale and L.A. sometimes the most evil beings shed come across were human. Names sprang up across her mind: "Ted", Ronald Meltzer, Christopher Wilson, the assassins at Homecoming, Maude Person the list went on and on. Just like Patrick they were all the more chilling because, despite being evil they had souls but simply chose not to use them

Mentally shaking herself from her thoughts she turned her mind back to more pleasant things. "So any thoughts on what you're doing next?" Jamie asked

"Probably a comedy" Cordelia asked a slight grin touching her face

"Sounds like a good idea. I dont think I'll be doing any more drama for a while. At least another 10 years Id sayhow have you found the rest of the crew?" he asked

"Hmm Terrys OK, and Kathryn is really nice, but I dont think I've got on so well with uh Nicola. I think we just kinda rub each other up the wrong way" she admitted, not wanting to offend him, just in cast he actually like the bitchy viper.woah! sheath those claws Cordy! She admonished herself. "I noticed she does that to a lot of people. Ive worked with her a couple of times, you kinda get used to her bitchy outbursts, shame you had to meet her on one of her worst-est days" he grinned "She normally as sweet as a grizzly bear, you just happened to catch her in Evil Demon Possessed mood. She has no idea of tact or anything either"

"Neither did I until I was eighteen, I tell you, the way I was in High School, I couldv'e made Nicola look like a real amateur, I'm the professional Super Bitca-"

"Bitca?" asked Jamie confused, Cordelia grinned at that

"It's what my ex-hated enemy, ex-boyfriend called me once, it appeared he couldnt spell bitch. I even got the title "Nastiest Girl In Sunnydale History" and that was one I gave myself" she grinned "I've mellowed a bit since then" she grinned.

"Do you think you're going to carry on acting after this?" Jamie asked serious, she paused for a moment "I don't know, a year before I got this offer I wouldv'e practically sold my soul to be an actress but having been though all thisit isnt everything I thought it would be. Sure you get a trailer and loads of praise, but frankly I'm not sure its worth it. Ive had to leave all my friends behind. I actually work for one of my friends, its really demanding but I get a buzz from it, cause I know the work I do is helping people, but acting has always been my dream, besides the obligatory wanting to be a model, princess, rock star and ballerina stages I went through. If I do continue acting Im gonna have to think about itbut I know that I'd like to give it another shot possibly" she admitted. Jamie nodded "It's something you have to think over. Just make sure you don't make a choice you'll regret later" he offered solemnly

***

Home!! She had never in her life been so glad to be see her front door in her life. Fumbling for her key with a soppy grin, the door swung open of its own accord. thanks Dennis" she grinned "It's good to be home. Shame I couldn't recommend having a ghost in every house" She murmured, stepping inside the room she noticed how dark it was, feeling slightly confused she flicked on the light and suddenly "SURPRISE!!!" came the bellowing of several voices, completely out of sync with each other. Cordelia beamed at the sight, huge banners hung around the room saying "Congratulations Cordy!" in huge loopey handwriting that she knew was Dawn's When the streamers and balloons finally fell to the floor Cordelia looked around the room at all her friends: Angel, Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Buffy, Dawn, Lorne, Faith, Connor and an party hat supposedly floating in air - Dennis of course. She grinned "You guys didn't have to do all of this" she grinned as she made her way to Gunn, wrapping her arms round him "we needed a bit of excitement, it was waaay to quiet without you, sides we'd just killed a demon ant nest and felt the need to celebrate, you just happen to come in" he grinned. "Mssed you" she grinned as she kissed him

"Oh please enough!" groaned Dawn

"Hey! You try going without your boyfriend for a few weeks and youll be entitled to a few public smooches!" Cordelia mock-glared, Dawn only rolled her eyes. Moving away from Gunn slightly, she went directly to Connor, her expression melting as she saw him. Scooping him up in her arms she grinned at him "Did you have fun without me little guy?" she cooed.

"Yeah! I gotwa wide in a big twuck with fwashy lights cause I ate a button!" he grinned, laughing in pleasure at the memory "yeah it was great, the eight hour wait in casualty, I got to know the wall paper really well" gripped Faith good-naturally, sticking her tongue out at Connor who laughed. "So you OK now little guy?" he nodded his head vigorously, then began to wriggle out of Cordelias hold, gently she set him down on the floor and Connor made a bee line for Buffy. Jutting out his lip in a way that greatly resembled a pout Buffy grinned and picked him up, as she made her way over to Cordelia as the two girls hugged. Cordelia never ceased to be amazed at how Connor had taken to Buffy, he followed her everywhere, and was more happy with her than anyone else - besides Angel that was. Though she would never admit it she felt slightly jealousConnor always turned to Buffy. Before he had always been the one he'd run to, now it was Buffy. She knew it was absurd, Buffy needed to feel loved and wanted after all shed been though and Connor was just the little guy to do it. Between Angel and Connor she knew theyd be able to help her become the old Buffy, with a little help from the A-Team as well of course. It would just take a little time, now that she wasnt Connors #1 girl anymore, but she could handle it. Hell, she was Cordelia Chase after all.

The party was in full swing when Lorne came in with a paper, dressed in a truly hideous bright green suit with purple cravat and yellow shirt. He was wearing an enormous grin "Hey Lorne, come meet the actress Cordelia Chase, you may have heard of her" grinned Gunn, who was slightly drunk pulling Lorne over. "Hey, super heroes come listen to what they say about our lady of the hour. The fabulous seer Ms Chase in the review" Lorne gushed. His voice immediately brought a halt to all the conversation in the room. "and I quote the absolutely glowing reviews Kathryn Jacobs and Tim Murrington, the critics who make Jerry Springer look sensitiveOK bad example. Anyway this is what they day about you darling:

"Kudos indeed cupcake" grinned Lorne "I'll finally be able to have someone famous at Cataritus, hey you might sing like a dying parrot but you can act." he grinned. "Seems like someones finally got their path sorted for themselves, for now" he added pointedly looking at her. Cordelia simply nodded

"Uh guys, could you all excuse me for a sec, I've got to make a call. Slipping away into her bedroom she pulled out her cellphone and dialed her agents number. "Hi Jerry?"
"Cordelia?! Where have you been I've been trying to get hold of you for hours, do you realise how many offers you have been getting in the last few hours alone?! Theres even an offer from a very well respected porn company who are willing to pay $70,000 for you in their latest flick. It's all very legit by the way. Very arty. Anyway-"
"Jerry, I'm not a porn actress - I do have some self-respect yknow. Anyway I'm not any type of actress"
"What do ya mean princess?! I don't think you realise what's going on, everyone wants you. That drama has made your worth serious money"

"It doesn't matter, Im quitting" she said simply, trying hard not to laugh as she imagined the expression on his face

"Quitting?!? Are you out of your pretty little mind?!? Were talking mega triple bucks here sweetheart and youre throwing in the towel?! Have you gone insane?!? Please tell me youve taken some acid or something!" he pleaded

"Jerry, I'm sane, sober, not and drugs and totally serious. I want to quit acting. I don't want to be an actor. I only wanted the money and the glamour"

"That all anyone wants!"

"That's not the point. I love me job here, and I don't want to leave it. I can't hack acting Jerry. I could barely cope on "Possession" theres no way I cope with a film. I just want out. I dont want anything to do with show business anymore. Sorry"

"So am I honey. You had a bright career a head of you" he sighed, sounding resigned "but if you wanna be anonymous, thats your business. See ya kid"

"Bye, and thanks for everything" Cordelia said sincerely before she switched off. Shed really given up her chance of acting for good, and she knew it was the right choice. Smiling she headed back to the party. Lorne looked at her and she smiled. Welcome back on your path sweetie we thought we were going to loose you there he thought to himself. Gunn snaked his arm round Cordelia and kissed her. "We all really missed you" Angel admitted quietly

"I missed you guys. It's great to be home" she smiled "With my family, I missed you guys more than anything" she grinned, kissing Gunn, then gave Angel a big bear hug "I missed you big guy" she whispered

"Where were you just now?" asked Angel handing Cordelia a drink, she smiled cryptically "Just finishing something off" she replied simply.