Suja

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What A Year It's Been

TITLE: What A Year Its Been (1/1)
AUTHOR: Suja sujaraviraj@yahoo.com
SUMMARY: It's been a year. Since the sewer talk.
SPOILERS: The Prom, The Yoko Factor, and of course, Passion, from which I used Angelus' Soliloquoy.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Affirmation is the best album. Expect major song fics from me...I can't help it. I hear B/A music, and I'm inspired. I'm sorry to all
who hate song fics.
DISCLAIMER: "I don't Know You Anymore" is by Savage Garden. Buffy and
Angel and Riley belong to the Joss Whedon Company.


Dear Buffy,
I would like to visit you for a while get away and out of this city
maybe I shouldn't have called but someone had to be the first to break we can go sit on your back porch relax talk about anything it don't matter I'll be courageous if you can pretend you've forgiven me because I don't know you anymore I don't recognize this place the picture frames have changed and so has your name we don't talk much anymore we keep running from the pain but what I wouldn't give to see your face again springtime in the city always such relief from the winter freeze the snow was more lonely than cold if you know what I mean everyone's got an agenda don't stop keep that chin up you'll be alright can you believe what a year it's been are you still the same? has your opinion changed?

because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognize this place
the picture frames have changed and so has your name
we don't talk much anymore
we keep running from these sentences
but what I wouldn't give to see your face again

I know I let you down again and again I know I never really treated you right I've paid the price I'm still paying for it every day so maybe I shouldn't have called
was it too soon to tell? oh what the hell it doesn't really matter how do you redefine something that never really had a name? has your opinion changed?
because I don't know you anymore I don't recognize this place the picture frames have changed and so has your name we don't talk much anymore
we keep running from the pain but what I wouldn't give to see your face again
I see your face I see your face I'm not good with words. Well, actually, I usually am....but I don't know what I want to say. I hope that you understand what I'm trying to tell you. I hope that these lyrics - which I haven't even written myself, will
tell you what I want to. It's been a year since we split up, and not one
day goes past where I wonder where we would be if I hadn't split up with
you? Would we be happy together? Would we even still be on this earth?
Would you be alive? Would I? We'll never know, and the only reason I keep
going is by believing I did the right thing. And I think maybe I did. I
mean, you're happy now. And Riley seems, well, you know what I think. He's
everything I want to be for you....and thats why i don't like him!
Buffy...you'd think 244 years of living would have helped me understand
love. It hasn't. You can't help who you fall in love. Love's a beast,
passionate, wild, untamed. You can't control it. Passion. It lies in us
all. Sleeping. Waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open
it's jaws and howl.It speaks to us, guides us - passion rules us all and we
obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest
moments...the joy of love...the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of
grief.It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without
passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow, empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.

And Buffy, things were always so passionate between us. All the colours
were so bright, everything was so magnified, electrified air between us.
What I'm trying to say with too many words, is that I'll never regret loving
you, and I hope you feel the same... Buffy, this is my way of saying, that I'll always love you, and I'll always be here for you. I can't believe that we're hardly speaking now. I'm glad I came back to Sunnydale to apologise. I just need to know that we'll be friends. At least friends. I can't even get this out right. You always could read me. And, like you said we don't live in the same worlds anymore. I don't know if you can still understand me. I just know that I can't leave us like this...
Angel.