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Title: No Frills
Author: Ice Princess
Email: ice_princess_287@yahoo.com.au
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Summary: I can't tell ya that...it'd ruin it...sorta.
Rating: PG-15 (language and implications)
Spoilers: s5/s2, up to Into the Woods and between Reunion and Redifinition
AN: This is the sequel to I Cry, and I'm, at the moment, uninspired, and with three pet projects and a main project, I'm rather inspirationless, so don't be diappointed if this turns out really bad. This fic teaches a lot of morals like the down sides of over-dieting, healthy eating and...other
stuff. Oh yeah, and this is yet again in Buffy's POV.
Dedication: To everyone who sent me feedback. You know who you are.
I can feel the twitches of wake behind my eyes, I can see without opening my eyes that it's daylight already. Ahh!! Too bright!! Who the hell opened the curtains? I'm sure I had them closed...I'm *trying* to sleep. No, I can't wake now...mmm, is that bacon? I can smell it frying in the kitchen, and I know by instinct that Dawn is yet again, hogging the bathroom. I honestly don't think she couldn't move any slower if she were 120 years older than she is now--in a non-vampiric capacity of course.
I slip out of bed and stumble over to my dressing table, ready to face the horror of my bedhair. To my surprise, it seems to have survived a night of writhing in my bed while I dreamt of...actually, what I was dreaming of wasn't the point, the point was just that my hair didn't get crapped up. I quickly give it a light brush to get out any small tangles before I head downstairs for breakfast. I can wash up afterwards. I never understood why a person would want to brush their teeth before eating anyway. That way, you just clean your teeth and get them all dirty again...and that funny taste in your mouth from having slept isn't too bad. Not anything some freshly cooked breakfast can't get you through.
Bounding downstairs, I can smell the food even more...bacon, eggs, sausages, coffee...blood? No, wait, that's just the milk that went off. At least I hope it is. I walk into the kitchen not even realising I'm holding my breath, and when I see just mom (and a carton with a bit of milk that's gone off in it, waiting to be thrown out), I let that breath of air out. It's a relief to know I definitely won't see him until I go out to patrol or something, well unless he somehow gets hold of another Gem of Amara, cos it's looking pretty sunny out today. I'm not exactly in the mood for seeing Spike at all, or any other extremely annoying vampires without souls--natuarally.
"Morning mom," I greet her with a smile, which widened at the sight of the three plates of breakfast, piled high with fatty things I definitely wouldn't eat if I were on a diet. Angel once told me a didn't need to go any diets, just in case I was (he said it wasn't healthy). Of course, I'd hate to be on a diet. I tried it once when I was at Hemery. Even with moral support from my "friends", it wasn't pleasant. And, I always thought that those really skinny people looked a little too freakish for my liking. After all, hugging a teddy bear is more pleasant than trying to hug a Barbie...not that being as fat as a teddy bear is any good, I meant...you know...those skinny bears.
"I hope you're hungry. I looked in the fridge this morning and thought, 'what the heck, I'll make it all'. I hope the pancakes aren't burnt, I forgot to check." Mom reaches into the fridge and pulls out two cartons of juice. "Orange or apple?"
"Orange. I hear vitamin C is extremely good for you. Aren't you supposed to be resting safe and sound in bed?" Mom gives me a guilty look and I'll excuse just this one time, I know how much she wants to go back to her usual routine.
"Morning," a sleepy voice sounds from behind me. Dawn is standing there in her pyjamas, yawning, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. I wonder if she knows how important to the world she is. And how important to my world she is. Although she gets on my nerves, I can't help but smile at the sight. The fate of the world is standing...well, sitting next to me dressed in sheep pyjamas, rubbing her eyes, asking mom for milk instead of juice.
"So, any plans today?" Mom asks me with raised eyebrows, I can't help but smile at the way her wig looks. It looks a little crooked...
"Umm, actually, yeah." Sprung.
"With Riley again?" Dawn asks, sticking her nose in my business once again. Annoying little sisters...I wish-, oh wait, I can't wish that. Damn...annoying monks.
"Actually, no. We broke up last night." I give mom a bright smile, definitely not fake, in an attempt to fend off any awkward sympathy talks she might have for me. So what if me and Riley broke up? I'm gonna see Angel today.
"And I'm assuming that it's fine with you?" She stabs at a piece of egg with her fork while I nod my head. "How rather strange. I thought you two were really tight."
"Don't worry about it mom. By the way, I'm going to LA today. I mean, if that's okay with you?"
"Are you going to see your father?"
"Uh...no. I am not seeing dad, and as you and I both know, he probably wouldn't be there anyway."
Mom nods her head in understanding. She knows why I'm going to LA, and she also probably knows why I'm grinning.
Dawn is silent the whole time, absorbing the information until it clicked--finally. "Oooh...I get it now. You're going to go see Angel."
"And you have to stick your nose in because...?" I curse those monks for the second or maybe third time today for conjuring such an annoying little sister to be this Key-thing. How about a nice normal girl, who isn't pesky, nosy or annoying? Damn monks...everyone has to make my life a living hell... I love Dawn, but she's just a pain in the ass sometimes...all the time.
"I like him. Can I come? At least he doesn't treat me like a kid. Can I?" Dawn has her hopeful face on, and I think it's absolutely hilarious since her hair is...well not up to scratch. I burst out laughing and her expression turns puzzled. "What? What?!"
"Don't worry, and no you can't come."
The rest of breakfast goes on without anymore discussion of my plans, much to my relief. I know mom feels guilty about what she did, I was there, eavesdropping from outside the door. I can forgive her for that, I guess. She did what she had to do, and if I were in her position, I'd do the same.
After I use the bathroom, I find Dawn in my room, sitting on the bed, with her hopeful face on. Again. "Can I come?"
"No, now go away and bug someone else." I gently push her out the door and slam it shut.
It doesn't take long for me to choose something to wear, pack an overnight bag. I head down the stairs, with Dawn still trailing at my feet, pleading with me again. "Please? I'll behave myself!! Why not? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?" She's practically begging me for God knows what reason, and I find myself easily refusing every time.
"Mom! Tell Dawn she can't come!" I shout into the family room as I come the rest of the way down.
"Dawn, you can't go. Who's going to take care of mom when Buffy's away?" Mom smiles at Dawn, and Dawn finally realises that she'd be better off at home. Extra babying of her by mom, a while-Buffy's-away special. I really hate that. Whenever did *I* get to be li'l pumpkin belly? Well, actually, that nickname isn't so good, but you get the idea.
"Are you two going to be okay? If you have any problems or emergencies, ring the number I left next to the phone."
"Okay, alright, we get it. You should go now Buffy, you could miss the bus," Dawn said in a way that made me want to rip her throat out even though I love her so much. Yeah, remind Buffy of how she's almost 20 and still can't drive...that's just really...not fair!
I haul the slightly heavy bag over my shoulder and pick up the keys that are on the table near the door. "Bye mom, I won't be gone for more than a few days. Bye Dawn." I can see her poke her tongue out at me in response. I shake my head in disbelief. Are fourteen year-old girls supposed to be so immature? I hope not. I head out the door, locking it behind me and take a deep breath as I walk down the familiar path to the sidewalk.
Carpe diem, that was my philosophy from the first day I went to Sunnydale High. Well, actually it was "seize the moment" until Willow told me a better version.
//Carpe diem. You told me that once.
'Fish of the day'?
Not 'carp'. 'Carpe'. It means seize the day.//
Well I think it's time to seize the day again. And hopefully this time it won't end as disastrously.
*****
I'm standing in front of the Hyperion Hotel, and having second thoughts. There's a little miniature version of Angel on my right shoulder, and a miniature Spike on the left (and he's wearing these really small fake devil horns, it makes him look rather cute instead of evil, like he's supposed to). It's my conscience, or that's what they called it on one of those cartoons that have these...the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other, trying to convince the guy to do what they want him to do. For me, the little Angel is telling me how much of a good idea is to do this, while the mini Spike is just telling me how much of a 'poof' Angel is. What a lousy devil conscience, can't even convince me to go through with it, like it should. So I'm back at square one, trying to decide whether or not I should even be doing this.
The cute mini Angel is getting the better of me though, and I know that he's right, I have to see Angel. I blink my eyes at the massive structure and take a glance at my watch. Just past midday. At least I know he can't go outside, though that doesn't reassure me very much since I'm sure he has sewer access in there somewhere. Not that I'm trying to capture or anything.
I push one of the doors open and step into the building. It is quieter than I expected. I expected Cordelia, Wesley and that Gunn guy that Riley told me about briefly one time. They should be here. Even though it's a Saturday, they should be here, right? I sure hope not...or maybe I do, I'm not too clear on that yet.
I walk slowly to the counter, on which a large sword was rested, confirming that I didn't go to the wrong place. It's a 19th century japanese katana and it has Angel's name engraved near the handle, on one side of the gleaming blade and also on the scabbard which is lying next to it. I have one similar to it, but I keep it in a special box on the shelf above my wardrobe; for safe keeping. The answering machine is next to it, showing that there were 25 new messages in an angry shade of red. They must have a lot of business, that's why they're not here. But I think that's just the side of me that doesn't want to do this talking. No chickening out Buffy, no chickening out now.
I look up at the landing above, it reminds me of the Von Trapp mansion in the Sound of Music, only very different. Definitely darker, that's for sure. I take the stairs one at a time, keeping my senses alert for sounds of any kind. It only occurred to me now that he could well be sleeping. Oh well, I don't want to think about the what-ifs at the moment, finding him in this massive building is the priority here.
"Angel?" I call as I peek into each room, randomly looking through the hotel rooms for the vampire I want to see. I can hear some faint sounds coming from downstairs, maybe even the basement.
I find my way to the door that must lead to the basement, I can hear the noise more clearly. It sounds a lot like knife throwing. I open the door cautiously, my heart pounding at the angriness of the knives hitting the target. One, two, three, four, five. I can tell without looking that they all hit the middle of the target. The middle of a target is much too small for five knives to hit and not make some sort of clanging noise. Enough of this, I came to LA to talk to Angel, and that's what I'm gonna do. Before I chicken out that is.
"Angel?" I make my way down the stairs to find him pulling his knives out of the target. He seems...upset, yet happy to see me. It was like he was expecting me or something. A tingle went up my spine the moment he shot his dark, soulful eyes in my direction. Of course, how can I forget? He could sense me, just like he always could. Stupid Buffy, forgetting something like that. Now I won't even have the chance to chicken out.
"Buffy," he greets me hesitantly. He puts the set of knives into a cupboard behind him and asks me why I'm here with a mere glance.
"Riley left," he shoots me this look as if to say 'so?' before I have a chance to continue. "And Xander said some things that made me realise something."
"Xander the inspirationalist? Who would've thought?" Angel looks all sexy in his dark pants and plain white singlet, but he just *has* to disappoint by putting on a shirt. Talk about turning a grin grim...
"Well actually, he was telling me all this crap about Riley being 'the one that comes along once in a lifetime', which is totally wrong by the way, and it got me thinking. I...I..." I can't bear to tell this to him, not now, not here while we're in a basement. Not as bad as sewer I grant you, but still pretty bad.
He gestures toward the door, reading my mind exactly, knowing it wasn't the right kind of place to have another one of these angst-filled Buffy and Angel Saga talks. "You what?" he asks when we reach the lobby.
"I need...I didn't imagine that it'd be so hard for me to say this...I mean, this isn't a thing you plan with, like, maps and stuff..." I ramble on until Angel snaps me out of it by giving me a strong shake. "Sorry, I'm just having a little difficulty...with the...saying of what I have to say. Cos me saying this is a werid experience for me to have to go through...again. It's not as if I think about what I'd say to you everyday, you know, in case I ever saw you again, it's probably more likely for me to be thinking of combat strategies or-"
"Buffy," Angel interrupted my ramblings, if he didn't, I'd never get a chance to say what I wanted to say, "what is it that you want to say?" he prods me, using his eyes to manipulate me...his eyes are pleading me to tell him what he wants to know. I can't resist...
I approach him and I look into his eyes, so soulful, yet so guilt-laden. As if he's committed a crime and is fearing that he'd be caught. I can't take it any longer and I do what I wanted to do ever since graduation day. I throw my arms around him, and I'm holding on to him like a buoy, hanging on for dear life, so hard that if he actually needed to breathe, he'd suffocate from lack of oxygen. "I miss you." I sob into his shoulder, not really understanding where the sobs came into the equation. "And...and..." I can barely register anything but the coolness of his body, pressed against mine, the tears running down my cheeks and soaking into his shirt, making a large tearstain on his shoulder. If it hadn't been such an emotional moment, I think I would've laughed about it. His cool arms wrap around me, his hands running up and down my back soothingly. Even though he's so cold, he warms me up anyway.
Angel pulls away from me, but doesn't let go, as if he's holding onto me for dear life as well. I don't even care that I look a mess now, probably with crapped up makeup or mussed hair, just as long as he's here and doing his level best to comfort me. "And what?" He's looking at me staright in the eyes, probably inspecting my teary eyes for a sign--a sign that would tell him what I really wanted to say but couldn't possibly manage while my emotions are running rampant in my mind.
'And I still love you.' I wanted to say, but I couldn't gather the nerve in the heat of the moment. " And I...never mind for now, just hold me. I'm so scared Angel...just hold me...please...so scared..." I need this to keep me going, as it has always helped me, it has been too long since I had this kind of emotional comfort. Especially while mom is so... This is exactly what I need.
"Why are you scared Buffy?" His the tone of his voice makes me think that he's busy or preoccupied with his knife throwing or maybe not interested. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he rejected me, I just need help from the only person on the entire planet who can help me. He helps me sit on one of the funny looking round seats in the lobby, those green...roundish things that remind me of those cake tins that makes a hole on the centre of your cake, except with the outside rim. He takes my hand in his own, the comforting gesture that I know he'd intended it to be.
"What's wrong? Why are you scared? Has something happened?"
"My mom..." I can't finish the sentence even though I know that mom is at home safe and sound, looking out for Dawn, wearing her funny wig and probably making lunch for the both of them since Dawn is such a bad cook.
"Oh Buffy, I'm so sorry," he takes me up in a hug, and it seems to me like he thinks she's dead, which I suppose he would from the lack of details I've offered.
"No no no, mom's not dead. She had a tumour and they operated on it and all, but..."
"But there's a chance they didn't get it all?" I nod in response, and he hugs me again--he knows that hugging is my therapy; I'm surprised he still remembers. It's as if he's reading my mind, but I can't even concentrate on that fact from the tingle that's going through me at the feel of his hand running over my back as he hugs me again. His hands are fiddling with my hair, not daring to run his hands through it for fear of over-intimacy. If there is such a thing. I suppose there is--for us.
"It's not just that. It's a whole lot of stuff," I say, pulling away from his embrace. Our lips are so close, so close to touching, and I know that he wants to kiss me, he's inching towards my lips and they're just about to touch when I stupid back away and continue with our conversation, attempting to ignore what could've just happened. "Well there's Dawn not really being my sister and actually being some sort of Key to some almighty thingimibob to unleash unholy havoc upon the world, Spike has some weird stalker thing going, Riley paid vampire whores to feed off him and gave me an ultimatum straight after, which resulted in him flying off in a helicopter to God-knows-where and my cursed birthday is coming up soon. Not to mention that a crazy, very strong blonde very non-human woman is after us. Did I mention she was crazy?"
"Yep." At first it looks like he's gonna say something more, but he stiffens, as if he just realised that he's here, with me, talking, hugging and almost kissing. "But you still haven't explained why you're here." Unfortunately for me, he pulls away from me, getting up from the seat (which is, by the way, *very* comfortable), to go stand behind the counter, picking up his katana to put it back into its scabbard. Now he's just being rude...or perhaps he's just a few problems of his own and he doesn't want to have to deal with poor lil' Buffy's continuous whinging. Did I just use the word 'perhaps' in my thoughts? Seriously, Giles is really getting to me...
"Well, as I said before, Riley left and Xander, of all people, made me realise something last night."
"And what was that?"
"You probably won't feel the same way, I mean, after all this time...but I'm just gonna say it instead of letting it go so it'll bug me every day for the rest of my probably short life." I took in a deep breath, knowing I'd either regret saying this or treasure the moment forever. I have to take my chances more often--taking chances can lead you towards an exciting life. Or so I've heard. "I love you. Always have, always will."
"Buffy, you know that-"
I put my hand up to shut his "you need normal" speech, and the deja vu from graduation throws me briefly, until I regain my composure to finish what I started. "I don't care about that, don't you understand? Stop it, and step outside your little box and smell the roses. I just need to know that you feel the same way."
"It's confusing and all," I notice that he gulps, kinda nervously, as if he's remembering something that was traumatic or something, pausing for maybe a second before he continues, "but you know the answer to that question. I'm just having a rough time lately. Evil lawyers, Darla resurrected, Dru in town, they're driving me...over the edge. And back inside 'my little box'."
I'm momentarily confused, but realising what he's just confessed, I can't help but turn my frown upside-down, well, until the rest of the sentence clicked... "Darla? But you staked her...didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did, in the Bronze. But the evil lawyers brought her back from wherever she was so that they could mess around with my head...and it's just driving me insane. I fired my staff without proper reason, training incessantly, not answering the phone and..." He stops right there in the middle of his sentence, with a funny dreamy look on his face. "Go away now, before you get hurt. That's the last thing I want to happen."
"But you keep doing it over and over when you keep telling me about this supposed 'normal life' you want from me. See, I tried, and what happened? I was used, cheated on, almost killed, hurt over and over again...don't you see? It isn't better. This isn't exactly the way I planned this, but I *do* need you. I don't even care what my mother said to you to make you leave town, you make me the person I am today. Stronger for it too. Please, we can make it together." My speech seems to have gotten kinda dramatic without even me noticing. Oh well, his expression exchanging; if I believed in it, I would have my fingers crossed right now.
"How can you love a killer?" He blinks once, twice, and drops his head before I respond. The tension in this room is really annoying me now, thickening and thinning unexpectedly. I don't like surprises.
"I thought we went over this already. You weren't in control of your body when Angelus murdered those people over a *century* ago, nor was it you who killed the people from a few years back. You have my forgiveness for that, always have." His frown deepens, which is rather worrying. I love him so much, but when it comes to emotional marathon discussion, it just ticks me off. He always finds something to blame himself for.
"No, not that. Not long ago. It's kind of a long story...but I suppose you've got the time." I cross my legs together, leaning back into the seat behind me. "Darla came back as a human, she worked some sort of mojo to get into my dreams and mess with my head. But...she found out she retained the syphilis from when she had been human. She wanted to become a vampire again, I tried to redeem her with this 'test' thing, which I never want to do again, but they said she'd already run out of chances. She...decided she would stay human--die a natural death, but the lawyers got Dru to turn her. They became a team. I locked them in a cellar. With about a dozen of the lawyers who've made my life hell from the very beginning of my time in this city. They were human, I shouldn't have let them die. Even if it felt right at the time because of all the things they've done."
He looks guilty, something I've always thought he looked, whenever it was. Night, day, during a movie, while we talk, while he's reading whenever. "They were caught up in dirty dealings, don't you think they should've died? I mean, we can kill humans who have evil intentions, can't we? It's a basic rule--destroy bad, keep good. If demons can be good, then why can't humans be bad? That's why they invented the death sentence."
He's softening up, I can tell. He's less guilty, more...broody. In a handsome kind of way. "I guess...but I still locked them in there. How do I even know that everyone in there was in the mix?"
"You think too much, that's why. Why were they over there? Business-related cocktail party or something like that? If so, then wouldn't they all be involved? I'm sure they wouldn't let any old gossipy rich bitch in if they were going to talk about stuff like that." I can't keep this up any longer!! Hello, are there gonna be any distractions soon.
"Stop it, stop it, stop it!! Stop messing with my head, its all a dream. It's all a big stupid dream, to mess with your head..." He's running his hands through his hair frantically, back away from the counter, bumping into a desk and stumbling through a door which I would assume, is his office.
I follow him inside, where he's sitting in one of the two chairs in front of the desk, rocking back and forth with his 'this is a dream, they're messing with my head' mantra. I pull him up from his seat forcefully and try to shake him out of his daze. He's still out of it...shouting helps. "This *isn't* a dream. I'm real." I press a deep kiss to his mouth, which, I'm certain, snapped him out of his 'state'. I can tell because he is returning the kiss, pressing his body against mine. The pressure is comfortable, familiar and it's nice to finally have the feeling back.
He presses me up against the wall and before I know it, we're upstairs in bed and...well I'm sure you know what happened. No need to go into any *details* here, I'd turn red as a beet--*not* a good look for me. The tingling and the tiredness from my restless sleep last night forces me to fall asleep. This is nice...the coolness of him, the warmth of the sheets and all over my skin, it just calls out to me to fall asleep, like a soundless lullaby. Angel has fallen asleep too, I guess he hasn't had much sleep lately since he locked the lawyers in with Darla and Dru, so I can forgive him for that. I just like the feeling of being watched by him while I sleep, I don't know why, maybe I've just gone crazy. The presence just feels...nice.
"OH MY GOD!!" Cordelia's voice screeches from the doorway to Angel's bedroom. Does she have to wake us up like *that*? Please. A nice beeping alarm clock is better than a screeching Cordy. "Wesley!! Gunn!! Get some stakes, now!!"
Now *that* woke me up. "Cordelia, why are you-" I see the problem now..."uh-oh."
"Yeah. Uh-oh. Really, is that all you can say at a time like this? Now we have to stake him. I promised I would if he turned 'grr' again." Cordelia turns around and is met with Gunn and Wesley with a bag full of stakes, crosses, holy water, basic vampire fighting utensils. All of them too familiar to me. It hasn't even occurred to me that I'm naked.
"Oh shit, " I dive back under the covers, thankful I remember which direction my underwear went. Oh shit indeed... "Umm, guys, I kinda need to change..."
"Yeah, well he's about to go all 'grr', don't you think it can wait?" Cordelia is getting snappier by the moment, I thought Angel said she'd gotten better about that type of stuff.
"Yeah, you shouldn't be worried about the fine print," Gunn adds, pointing out the pair of undies hanging off the end of the bed. The kind made from really thin material. Sometimes I wish people could pun better...but right now, I'm more concerned with keeping my undies under.
"Well I don't want to be the one to fight the guy half nude!"
"Hmm? What's going on?" Angel stirs, sleepily rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Are you Angelus?" Cordelia points the crossbow at his chest, it seems to me as if she's had quite a lot of practise by now.
"No. And if I was, he'd have your neck broken stark naked or not."
"Good point."
"Do you mind! We need to get dressed," I look at the three standing in the doorway and the expression on Wesley's face would be enough to crack me up if he weren't staring at me so strangely, "like, now, if you don't mind. Queen Victoria here might like to hit the books?"
"Of course," he turns abruptly, taking the bag of vamp killing weapons with him. Oh yeah, he's changed alright.
"Well, since I'm not enjoying this any more than you two, I'll be following the bumbling idiot." Cordelia leaves the doorway with a slight swish of her hair, which leaves me with the feeling of deja vu (again, today), only difference being hair length.
"So you finally got some, eh? Good for you. Now I need some of that luck..." Gunn muttered some other unintelligible things which I don't think I even want to hear.
We dressed, finally, and went down to help with the research. After many hours of research, we found out it was a mistake from one of Darla's dream spells, which granted a wish for him. It happened just the once--unfortunately and without the horn of a virgin pure palamino unicorn, we couldn't redo the spell. Damn. Oh well. I'm happy. Angel and I got the relationship we always wanted. No frills, no bills, just clear, and simple. Except Spike still bugs me from time to time...where the heck are unicorns from?
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