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Obsession
By: Jen
Email: balover214@yahoo.comDisclaimer: Joss owns all Buffy references and characters.
Timeline: Set during and immediately after Possession
Spoilers: Sequel to Possession.must read it to understand this one.
Synopsis: Buffy's POV when Angel comes to her house that night.
Distribution: You want my story??? Really??? Are you serious??? Okay then you can take it!! Just let me know where it's going.
Feedback: PLEASE!!! Good or bad, I want to know what you think!!
Rating: R (mainly for language and some dark content)
Author's Note: This is for everyone who sent me feedback asking for a sequel. I decided I would put my other stories on hold for one night and write this. In case you are wondering, I WILL be finishing my other fics, it's just taking a lot longer than I had hoped. Sorry about that. But thanks for your patience.
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The past few weeks had been almost intolerable. My birthday was the most amazing day of my life, probably the best I'll ever have. Then, because of me, Angel was gone. So I sit alone every night, wondering why I'm still here. How my grief and agony have only managed to consume my mind, heart, and soul, but not yet my body.
I had been clinging to a small shred of hope that my Angel would come back to me, but after my last encounter with Angelus, I know that's not possible. His taunts and his sexual innuendos are enough to prove that my only remaining happy thoughts are no longer such. He has even managed to ruin what I felt to be the most precious memories of my former lover. Even thinking about it makes my throat tighten and my heart clench.
It is only at night that I get even a small reprieve from the heartache. It is then when I finally get to lay in my bed, that he comes to me. He comforts me and tells me that everything will be okay. That he's going to come back to me someday. Until then, he holds me and makes love to me. But inevitably, I will wake up and he'll be gone again. It makes the days that much harder and the pain that much worse. But I have to endure it. Because he promised me that we'll see each other again.
So, when the dreams came tonight, I welcomed them. It was a long-awaited release from the horrors of my day. In the first one, we made passionate love in his room for hours. Angel took me to places I had never been before and could never dream of going without him. I felt oddly connected to him, especially tonight, because his presence seemed to seep in through the images and into me. I could feel him with me, in me, and it soothed my mind.
When he held me close afterwards, I began to cry. The feelings in me were so conflicting and strong that there was nothing else for me to do. I felt the loss and the pain from his absence, yet I felt strength and joy from him. Things that I had been lacking for a long time. He whispered meaningless words in my ears, as he placed kisses in my hair, on the tip of my nose, on my lips.
After I finally calmed down, I felt him stiffen beside me. I asked him what was wrong, knowing that this was very strange for a dream like this to take on a life of its own, but he didn't answer. He was distant for a few moments, but then he turned to me with tears in his eyes, as well. Placing another kiss on my lips, he apologized to me. Although I didn't understand why, I just kissed him back, needing to be as close to him as I could while he was with me. Angel then told me that I would have hard choices ahead of me, but that he had total faith in me to do the right thing. He tried to explain, but I wouldn't let him. I just rolled on top of him and began to reacquaint myself with his body all over again.
The second dream came much later that night, which was unusual since I never really had two before. It just seemed like one stopped and the other started. Anyway, I watched Angel emerge from the shadows in my room, as he walked over to my bed. He was so beautiful as he moved stealthily to me and sat down on my bed. This dream was so vivid, even more so than the previous one, that I swear I could feel him beside me. But I didn't move, afraid it would make him disappear again. He moved a stray hair off my face, and I reveled in his cool touch. How I missed his gentle nature, his tender caress. I listened as he sketched a picture. Knowing it was my face he wanted to immortalize, I didn't interrupt. It gave me a sort of pride in seeing him want me, in the forever kind of way.
But this dream was different some how. He didn't try to talk to me, to comfort me. He didn't hold me, kiss me, or love me. He was just there. Like a cat, waiting to pounce on his victim. It sent shivers of fear up my spine. Not understanding the feelings coursing through me, I moved a hand to his thigh. Damn, this was a VERY realistic dream. I could feel him, his strong muscles tensing under his leather pants. When he leaned in to kiss me, I was eager to return it. I loved this man, and anything he was willing to give me in my dreams, I was more than willing to accept. I knew that he noticed my enthusiasm because he chuckled deep in his throat, as he drove his tongue into my mouth.
When I felt his face shift, I stopped kissing back. Confused, I opened my eyes, really opened them, and there he was. The demon who wore my lover's body was sitting on my bed, his powerful body partially covering mine. Angelus pulled back slightly from my mouth, but pricked my lip on the way. As he began sucking the small amount of blood from the wound, I realize why he came that night. I realized what he was doing. He was going to take me with him. To the dark side. Maybe this is what I want. To end the pain, the torture of seeing him and knowing it's not Angel. Maybe without a soul, things would be easier. Laying limply in his grasp, I watch him, his smirk come across his face, as he goes for my neck. When he pierces the skin, I feel a soul deep pain that can't even be explained. It was almost as bad as knowing Angel was gone. Although this felt like betrayal. Like I was giving up something so precious that I would suffer for all eternity. But my life wasn't precious anymore. It was nothing but pain. And all I wanted was for it to go away, to feel some sort of peace.
Angelus breaks away, just as I feel my life slipping away. He cuts his wrist with my fingernail, which I can barely tell is still connected to my body. Nevertheless, I wince at the cut and the blood that seeps from it. All I could think about was how it used to be Angel's wrist and that I wanted to see him again. Roughly (as much as I could anyway), I grabbed his arm and held his wrist to my mouth, drinking in the blood of my lover. It was actually peaceful. I felt strangely connected to Angel in a way I never thought possible. His blood flowed through me now. Even as I passed out, I remembered him and our time together, knowing that everything would be alright now.
* * *
I woke up with one thought on my mind: hunger. I was possessed by a bone-deep hunger that I didn't understand. Sitting up, I realize that I was in a strange room, alone. Shaking my head to clear it, I figured out that Angelus must have brought me here while I was being transformed. Getting up, I practically run down the stairs of the large building, in search for food, blood, life. When I make it into the Great Room, I find a large man tied to a chair in the center of the room, unconscious. Not even thinking, I rush to him, sinking my fangs into the man's neck, drinking greedily.
My meal is rudely interrupted when Angelus stalks into the room, clapping his hands. I growl at him, and straighten up, ignoring the almost dead man in the chair. He compliments me on my eagerness and my intelligence. I just tell him to fuck off. The look that crossed his face was humorous, and I start to laugh. He actually seemed to think that changing me would make me want to sleep with him. I may be a vampire now, but not every demon on this planet needs to be fucked by the infamously masterful Angelus. And I tell him so. He gets thoroughly pissed off (did I ever mention how cute he is when he wants something he can't have?) and growls back at me, walking over in my direction. I just stand still, waiting for him to get close enough. And when he does, I kick Angelus right in the balls. It felt so good that I bust out laughing as he crashes to the floor.
Feeling hungry once more, I turn and head outside. This demon this wasn't as bad as I had thought it to be once. I feel more in tuned to nature and to the Hellmouth. No wonder why demons flock here.it's a very powerful force that could be really fun if let out on the world. And it wants to be. It wants me to do it. But not yet. There's so much fun to be had tonight.
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