Title: Crawling (1/1)
Author: Eleni Angel (eleni9724@juno.com)
Rating: R
Synopsis: When something bad happens to Angel, what happens to those he loves?
Spoilers: Up through 'Older and Father Away' and 'Couplet' with my own personal speculation of the future. Just please don't shoot me over it.
Couple: Buffy/Angel (Do you people honestly think I write anything else?)
Warnings: CHARACTER DEATH(S) Please, if the thought of suicide bothers you, don't read this, and e-mail me, and I'll give you the gist of it.
Disclaimer: I can serious promise you that they're not mine. I'm not a writer on Angel's Creek with fangs or the Sexcapades. Crawling in the Dark is a song that got stuck in my head by Hoobastank. Save Me is by Remy Zero.
Distribution: Your Eyes, Perchance to Dream, Land of Denial, FF.net, and anyone else who is archiving my work may have this...just send me the URL of your site.
Dedication: To my three Angels of mercy, Liz, Tim, and James for making me laugh when I was down. To my wonderful beta Jen, she makes sense of what comes out of my warped mind. And to Leonie and the fine people at Television Without Pity for the trash sessions.
Feedback: send all thoughts to eleni9724@juno.com
Author's Note: This is a little shortlet fic that came to mind while I
was reading this new series of fantasy books, which are quite fabulous
and are by Mercedes Lackey, and are called The Last Herald-Mage series. Some of the words have trickled through my vocabulary.
i feel my wings have broken in your hands
i feel the words unspoken inside
and they pull you under
and i would give you anything you want, but know
you were all i wanted
and all my dreams are falling down
crawling around and around
Sunnydale, CA 2022
There was no one around when it happened, but the fact that she felt what had transpired was not subject to question by anyone. All anyone could remember was that it was the day that she fell to her knees with a scream to rival that of a banshee, the cry of a heart so wrenched with pain that the soul was forcibly ripped away to keep it from irreparable harm. And then the convulsions began, violent quivers that began with her crying, keening at something that they couldn't comprehend, for something they couldn't guess.
It was very strange, she'd fallen in the middle of the day. Right in the middle of one of her lectures. She did so love her job at the gallery, she got to keep a catalogue on the weapons that were brought in, and occasionally taught about their various uses to the local public. And that was always a big turnout, people swore they could listen to her forever, the tales of a victorious Slayer. One who had survived all of her battles and mentored the next generation.
somebody save me
let your warm hands break right thru and
save me
i don't care how you do it
just stay, stay
oh come on
i've been waiting for you
The phone call was what saved them all the great deal of trouble brought with bringing her to a Healer-mage, they always wrought expenses they couldn't afford right now, and herbs that never did a Slayer much good. Cordelia Chase-Wellington called all the way from her mansion in Beverly Hills just because she thought they ought to know that Angel had been killed. Staked by his own hand in a fit of madness caused by the ever nefarious Wolfram & Hart. That the last word out of his mouth was Buffy's name, as if he'd realized what he was doing at the last minute and regretted it.
Several mage trainees told them all the same thing, that she was suffering from the loss of her lifebonded. They had been told of many who didn't survive more than a few minutes after the death of their partner. Lifebonding was something that rarely happened, but it was the deepest of soul bonding that only took place between soulmates. It didn't take an idiot to see that Buffy and Angel had been soulmates, no matter how much they had tried to run away from it. They were tied together until one of them died, and now one had.
i see the world has folded in your heart
i feel the waves crash down inside
and they pulled me under
i would give you anything you want, but know
you were all i wanted
and all my dreams have fallen down
crawling around around
Now she just lay there all day long, not moving, nor speaking, nor acknowledging anything around her. Huddled under blankets that others draped around her. Already mourned by her students and family. No one expected her to pull out of this, and tended to avoid the topic when they came to visit. Even Dawn, who had been first to her side could no longer look at her for an extended period of time without bursting into tears. She had already lost so many people in her short life, and now she was about to loose Buffy too.
The world was a haze. All she could remember was pain. Pain, and Angel's face at the moment he ended his own life. There was a spell, she knew that much, but she couldn't understand how this could be an option he would ever consider. He had once told her that as long as he was in this world, he would be unable to leave it. He had promised her that if he was ever at rock bottom, that he would call her and they would talk. That he had sworn on his life to do, on his soul.
somebody save me
let your warm hands break right thru
somebody save me
i don't care how you do it
just stay, stay
come on
i've been waiting for you
Now there was nothing left for her. Her beloved was gone, long lost to her in every way. Years ago he had severed their physical contact for fear of that all too close moment of perfect bliss that wrought hell upon earth. But up until very recently, their mental connections had been in firm place. It was all gone now, like a feather released into a wind. Only painful, so much agony that she was crippled by the sensation.
The sharp metal was a welcome coolness in her hands. She fumbled with the primitive handle, unused to anything but her modern taser weapons that could kill any demon from fifty feet away. It was a protective caution, they'd said when she was presented with them at the Council seat. Wesley had smiled kindly from his position of ring leader of the circus, Giles his second banana. All they had done was make her lazy, clumsy with weapons that had once been a second nature to her. How long had it been since she'd actually taken her artifacts out of their cases at the gallery and handled them? How long had it been since she'd killed a demon with her bare hands, something she used to revel in during her younger years.
and all my dreams are on the ground
crawling around around
She was Buffy Anne Summers, a fourty-one year old Slayer who welcomed the peace brought by the searing pain of the dagger. The only weapon Angel had ever given her, a finely balanced blade with a gilded handle that was intricately carved with Celtic symbols. The old clichés of having her life flash before her eyes came to pass with a white fog around them. And then there was no pain, no hurt, nothing but the abyss she had been longing for. And end.
somebody save me
let your warm hands break right thru
somebody save me
i don't care how you do it
just save me
i made this whole world shine for you
just stay, stay
oh come on
i'm still waiting for you
