Change Of Heart

Title: Change of Heart
Author: Pixie
Disclaimer: Do I *really* need to do this again?
Ratings: PG?

Distribution: You want it? Go ahead, ask first than I'll let you have it.
My site: www.angelfire.com/rant/nowandforever/enter.html
Author's Note: AU fic! Buffy comes from a very different past than she is from the show.
Spoilers: None, this is an AU fic.
Feedback: PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Mailto: pixie232@cs.com
Summary: I'll tell you as soon as I figure it out.

Part One

Sunshine reflected off of her rosy skin, sending shivers throught her body. The cool breeze of the massive blue ocean cooling her off as the deadly rays of the sun touched her skin. Tingles spreaded through her as she shivered from the combination.

It were days like these that warmed her heart and soul. She loved spending her free time soaking up the sun's rays as she caught up with some "alone" time for her to reflect about her busy life.

A life that she wished held something more than just her work.

No matter how successful she was in her business, she still felt something missing. It could be a result of the childhood life that she had.

Her life had never been easy for her, ever since she had been born there were problems for her to face. And, when things got rough, she wished there had been someone she could share her feelings with.

For years she had been lonely, spending her entire life by herself. Even when she had her abusive parents, swearing and abusing her, she had always been lonely.

Possibly the result of a messed up childhood life that she so desperately wanted to erase.

Her father had always been drunk. Everynight, he would come home, alcohol on his breath, face red as a beet, and the menacing look on his face from losing too much money gambling.

Everynight would be the same. He would come home, drunk and mad, and hit her until she wished for death, but it helped to relieve his anger.

Everynight, she would go to sleep, knowing that no one loved her, that she was only a tool to be used to vent out frustration.

And everynight, she would cry herself to sleep, wishing and praying for death embrace her.

But she never cried loud enough for anyone to hear. Her cries were never fully released from her still torn body.

Until this day, her pent up frustrations and anger were still bottled within her.

She didn't trust anyone. Not anymore. Her life had been pretty messed up, but her parents had taught her to hate and feel the pain. To not cry out even when you were bleeding to death.

It was something that she learned from her uncaring family, but how she wished that they had at least showed that they wanted her to be their child. That she wasn't just some useless thing that had been a waste of time to conceive and carry to birth.

That she was loved. That someone cared about her.

But no one did. No one cared about her, and that was fine with her.

She didn't need friends, she never had friends. She never had someone to cuddle with and talk with and share her feelings with.

No matter how much a huge part of her didn't want any of these, the other part wished for companionship.

She wanted someone to teach her how to feel again. Because she stopped feeling a very long time ago.

She wanted to know how being loved and cared about felt like. Did it feel like heaven? Would it have helped her from her depression that she was constantly in? Would she ever find anyone who cared about her?

The people she worked with might have cared, if she hadn't scared them off.

She didn't want to feel, she didn't know *how* to feel.

And she was afraid that if she did, if she felt something more than hatred for herself, something by the name of love and friendship, she would die.

She would die because she wouldn't be able to handle the emotions.

For years, one emotion ran through her veins. And that was to hate. It was to hate herself, hate her parents, hate the world, hate the very existence of people, hatred ran deep within her. So deep that there was no way for her to find a way to get rid of the hatred.

Hatred that her parents themselves caused.

When she was a child, she always wore long shirts and pants to cover up the bruises on her body.

It helped for a while, but then she began to have bruises on her face, the size of a huge palm.

She grew her hair out long enough to cover her face. She never cut it at all.

She didn't care what others thought. She didn't care if the students were spreading rumors about her.

She didn't *care.* That had been her problem.

And it had been her problem up till now.

Maybe now, when the sun shone on her golden hair and tanned skin, she was finally beginning to feel.

Part 2

The sun was beginning to set, casting the skies into a mix of bright orange and red. It was a beautiful site that she had begun to enjoy.

In her troubled childhood, she never had the time to appreciate the little things in life, nor did she want to for fear of questioning her parents. But now, now when she was free from her torturous parents, she began to find the significance in the little things of life.

She loved dancing in the rain. For she had never done it before.

The first time she did it, she had been akward at first. But as the cold rain splattered on her skin, it felt like she was cleansing herself. Cleansing herself of her past.

A past she so desperately wanted to erase from her memories, even if they were now burried in the depths of her mind.

Dreams were just that, dreams. Her life had been a nightmare, but she was unable to ever wake up and everything would be okay.

It wasn't. Nothing would ever be okay with her ever again.

Sighing, Buffy stepped off her balcony and into her house.

Even if her past had been messed up, she had been able to make herself a life.

But no matter how hard she tried to hide it, there was something missing. A feeling that kept growing and growing until it was like a huge whole made inside her heart.

And that feeling ached her.

She wasn't sure what it was that seemed to be missing from her life.

She had everything she had ever wanted.

She had money. She had freedom.

What else did she need?

*Friends. Someone to love you.*

Her own voice answered.

Even if that was true, who would love her?

She was ugly, hideous, and unworthy of love.

Love was nothing. Love caused pain.

And she had enough pain to last for ten lifetimes.

Love. She swore she would *never* feel such an emotion like that ever.

Only anger was appreciated.

Part Three

It was a Friday morning when an annoying alarm clock rang at precisely 4:30 A.M.

Groaning, Buffy Summers reached out an arm and turned the alarm off.

*Thank God it's Friday.*

Friday meant no work on Saturday, which meant she got to be able to catch up on the sleep that she's missed during the week.

*Friday! Oh, no! Why today? Oh God.*

Buffy panicked. Her still sleep induced mind had been able to remember that it was Friday, May 30th. One of the most important day of the year. She get to meet her boss.

No one had ever had the privlege to meet the person who ran their successful business.

And, because of her success and the money that she brought with her with her success, she had the opportunity to meet him.

Which also meant that she had to dress up.

She *hated* dressing up.

It was rarely, if ever, that she even wore heels. Only to work, and they were two inch heels.

She wasn't going to enjoy this.

The way she thought of it was that dressing up equals tons of make-up, a dress that's too short and too uncomfortable, heels that are high enough to make her dizzy, and her hair so fancy that she had to worry about it every few seconds. Worrying that it would fall apart.

Groaning once more, Buffy went to her bathroom to take a shower to wake herself up. And hopefully relieve the stress she felt building up.

******

Dressing herself up was a horror.

She had never done half of the stuff that she was doing to herself right now.

The only make-up she ever wore was simple chap stick and some natural eye shadow.

That was it.

Now, she was curling her eyelashes, putting on lipstick, powder, colorful eye shadow, and all this other crap that made her look like a clown.

This was insane. But she wanted to make a good impression on her boss.

*And if I ever figure out how to use these things I can hopefully have a raise.*

That was the best she could hope for.

And she hoped that her first meeting with the boss would be her best ever, she wanted to make a good impression on him.

Part Four

The sun was already rising in the horizon when she drove onto the deserted road.

She marveled at the beautiful site, it was very rare that she ever had the time to watch the sun rise.

The road was deserted, as usual. She liked this road. It was so peaceful and quiet, except for the sound of her rickety old car that was trying desperately to stay alive.

Something was wrong. It seemed like her car was getting louder and it was smoking.

*Oh no. Not now! Not today!*

She groaned and pulled aside. Unbuckling her seat belt, she went outside in her neatly pressed outfit. And a skirt that was way too short.

* * * *

20 Minutes Later

* * * *

The hood of her car was up and she stood in the middle of her car, trying for the life of her to figure out what was wrong with her car. Granted, it was a really old car that should have been put out of it's misery 5 years ago. But she didn't have much money 5 years ago, and she needed a car to get to work. And for 5 years, she had depended on her dilapidated car to get her 3 miles to work and 3 miles to her apartment.

The rusted green car had been faithful until now.

*Why today?* She asked herself, today of all days. Why couldn't her car pick a better day to break down? Why not tomorrow? But noooo, it had to choose today. Today, the day when she would *finally* be able to meet the genius behind the extremely successful business.

She groaned once more as she glanced at her practical watch. She was 20 minutes late. She *hated* being late.

And what was worse was that no one ever travelled on the road that she traveled. Preciously why she had chosen the road. But now, as luck would have it, her choice would leave her stranded for god knew how long.

She glanced down at herself. All dressed up for no reason. Her skirt rode up her thighs as she bent over to close the hood of her car. What did it matter now? It was futile to try and do anything about the damn car.

She got into the driver's seat and closed the door. She sat back and closed her eyes and tried to relax. With the cool breeze that swept along the road and tusseled her hair and the warm beat of the sun on her skin, she was able to accomplish that.

So entraped was she in her own mind, that she never heard the revving of another car until the driver was at her side.

* * * *

Angelus was late. He was *never* late. It wasn't like him, but he had just come from the hospital where his friend's wife had just delievered a healthy baby boy of six pounds and 9 ounces. Cordelia had been ecstatic to hold her child in her arms and Angelus was glad that he had been there to witness the special occasion.

He couldn't help the feeling of regret that he would never have the happy family that Cordelia and Doyle had made. His life only consisted of mainly work. Although he did socialize quite a bit, he prefered the solitude of his study to the noisy and pact clubs where adolescent boys pretended to be men and the girls wore clothes that were way too short and way too tight. He would have even liked those girls, if he hadn't grown up and saw behind their many layers of make-up only to find a self-centered brat who cared about no one, but a warm body in their beds and expensive clothing.

He had discovered too many times what was really under the skin. None of the girls had any opinions of their own. They listened to him and agreed with everything he said.

He didn't always like that. He wanted a woman who expresses her own feelings and beliefs and never let anyone step all over them.

Of course, such a person didn't exist. At least, not in his world.

Glancing at his watch, he swore. He was late!

He sped down the lone road so fast that the country side was only a blur to him.

So intent was he on the road that he almos missed the green rusted car on the side of the road. A woman, who seemed asleep, was inside.

He swore again. He was never one to leave a person helpless, much less a woman.

He pulled right behind her old car, turned off his engine, and went to see if he could the lady at all.

Part 5

"Excuse me, ma'am." A man's deep voice broke into her reverie. Buffy opened her eyes to see that she was still on the side of the road. She looked up and her gaze was met by a warm brown one. She gasped softly as a shock went through her and left her shaken.

He cocked his eybrow and she realized that she hadn't answered him yet.

"Yes?" Buffy noticed that her voice was a little hoarse. Possibly from dehydration. Or from the nearness of a male. The first male that she had ever been this close to ever.

"Is there a problem? Anyway I can help you, ma'am?" The handsome man asked, for she swore to God that he was the most beautiful of all men. She scanned his body, starting with his black and brown spiked hair. Her gaze went to his eyes, and realized that they were glittering. He was smiling at her! Her heart skipped a beat and her breath became breathless as she felt a warmth pass through her.

He stood there silent, obviously content with having her check him out.

Her gaze went down and met big and broad shoulders. His shirt was crumpled, as if he had slept on it all night and hadn't bothered to change. Even through the crumpled shirt, she could imagine that beneath it were fine, toned muscle.

*Stop that, Buffy! You have no right to be thinking of a man's chest. Much less a stranger! You know men are just lying, conniving, good-for-nothings!* She admonished herself.

She met his gaze again. His eyes were smiling at her. The arrogant bastard! How dare he think she was checking him out!

Although she had been, she wasn't about to admit it to anyone. Much less herself. She was good at lying to herself.

"Ma'am? Do you need some assistance?" He smiled arrogantly at her.

She refused to admit that her heartrate had increased and her throat went dry. *It's only because of the sun and dehydration, that's all. Nothing to do with this man. None at all.*

"Um...yea, my car broke down and I have no way to get out of here." She realized that her throat sounded rough. Dehydration, that's it.

"Well, would you like me to look at your car and see what's wrong?"

She didn't need his help. She could do this herself. She didn't need anybody. All she needed was herself and she would be happy.

But, Buffy realized the dire situation that she was in.

She did need his help, although she didn't like admitting it.

It was either staying her forever and camp on the side of the road for the rest of her life or accept his help and hopefully be able to get to work without her boss skinning her alive.

"Yes, that would be good. If you dont' mind, I mean." She answered, finally.

He nodded and opened the hood of her car. She went out, not trusting him one bit. After all, he was a stranger. For all she knew, he could cut the wires or something so that she would be stranded here forever and he would take advantage of her.

Checking her purse for the pocket knife and the pepper spray that she brought everywhere, she made sure it was with her when she stepped beside him.

His brows furrowed into a deep V as he looked at her car.

He glanced at her and in a pitying voice, he said, "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. I could call to get your car towed and I could give you a ride, if you need one."

He said it with pity. She didn't want his pity. She didn't want anyone's pity.

But he was being nice to her, he was trying to help.

Or he could be a psycopath that was hell-bent on killing young and beautiful, although she wasn't, women.

Or he could be a concerned citizen doing his duty.

There were too many chances, but she also realized that she needed whatever help he could offer.

Before she could change her mind, he took a cell phone from his car and called to have her car towed. He gave the directions while she closed the hood of the car, grabbed her purse from inside, and turned to see that he was gazing at her intently.

Fear gripped her heart.

* * * *

Angelus had just finished talking to the tower, when he turned around to find the lady bent over her car, reaching for her purse. Her extremely short skirt had hiked up even shorter, revealing even more white creamy flesh. He saw the adorable backs fo her knees and the bottom of her thighs, and realized with shame that he was aroused by the small and petite woman.

He could barely restrain himself from reaching out and touching her.

When she turned around and gazed into his eyes, he realized with shock that he had seen fear in here eyes before it was gone.

*Why would she be scared of me?*

He noticed from start that she had been wary of him, deducing that she was just nervous at having a stranger at her car window insisting of his help.

But now, he wasn't so sure. It was something else.

Putting out of his mind, he asked where she needed to go. She was reluctant to answer and he was both shocked and amused to realize that she worked for him.

Although he didn't admit that he worked there also, he left that information out.

She was reluctant to get into his car, he was amused.

*Looks like she doesn't trust me.*

Oh well, but it looks like they'll be working together for awhile.

Part 6

The ride to Conners Incorporated took almost an half an hour. Buffy had been able to use the man's cell phone to call that she would be late. After she had said that she was going to be late, she could hear a gasp from the other end of the line. And, a few seconds later, she could hear a muffled voice and than almost silence.

Everyone was surprised that one of the most successful employees was going to be late. Something that had never happened to her in the 5 years that she had worked at Conners Incorporated.

In the expensive, red Mercedes, Buffy sat as closely as humanly possible to the passenger door. Avoiding any contact with the man that seemed to be only concentrating on the road. And not on her.

Which was good. She didn't need any unwanted attention from a man like him. Of course, any attention from him would be unwanted. Otherwise, what would it be? Wanted attention from a stranger?

No. It was impossible.

She wasn't even beautiful for chrissakes! She was hideous with her too long hair and her too hazel eyes and her too small frame.

She was *unworthy* of any unwanted attention.

The feeling didn't leave a bitter trail as it had when she was but a child. She had grown used to the fact that she *just* *wasn't* beautiful. No matter how hard she tried. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself or how hard she tried to make her parents love her.

It might have mattered to her then, but it didn't matter to her now. Nor would it ever.

She had made up her mind a long time ago. When her mother had caught her playing with her make-up and had told her father.

It was a long and painful night that ended with her outside, with the raging storm at her back.

No, she wouldn't remember this now. It didn't matter any more! All that matters is that she had enough money to live by and a house that welcomed her.

That was all that mattered. Nothing else.

* * * *

Angelus sat with one arm on the steering wheel and the other on the seat. He had to clench his hand to keep from touching the woman next to him.

He shouldn't be feeling like this. Like an adolescent teenager on his first date with the prom queen. He didn't know what it was about her that made him so intriqued. Her eyes were shadowed as if she had seen and experienced things that no one should ever have gone through. And he couldn't explain why he was so entranced by those haunted, hazel eyes of her. All he knew was that he wanted desperately wanted to know what had kept her beautiful eyes from shining with happiness, instead of the sadness that casted it's darkness into her eyes and reached even deeper than her own soul.

It was strange. He wanted desperately to discover her secrets. But he also wanted to keep his distance, he didn't need any extra distractions right now. Now, with the business almost at the top. Almost at number one, but not quite. And he needed all the energy in him to make sure that they were at the top. Whether or not if that took a month or even a year. Nothing could keep him from proving to his father that he wasn't as worthless as he believed.

But, as much as he convinced himself that he didn't need the distraction, he wanted to know why she sat so close to the door. It was as if she was ready to spring if he moved an inch and he saw her fleeting glances at him. It wasn't something he was glad about, those glances were nervous ones.

She was like a too tightly wound-up toy that was about to spring and burst at any moment now.

At least her nervous glances allowed him to know that her haunted past had been something to do with males.

*Great. Just great. How am I supposed to work with my top employee if she has a problem with males?* He thought sadly.

He let out a soft sigh. How could he be so arrogant and think of business when he could be doing even more damage to the already fragile lady next to him?

It didn't matter now. He'd worry about that later.

Right now, he had to find a way to break the news to her that he was her boss.

If he calculated right, she would be pissed to find that he had kept that part out of the conversation, however short it had been, that they had had right before they were on the road.

He'd have to worry about that later. Not now.

Part 7

Upon their arrival to Conners Inc., Buffy hastily thanked him and practically ran towards the elevator.

Angelus was tempted to tell her about their situation, but he decided until their meeting.

Besides, it would mean more fun for him.

Angelus was headed towards the elevators, when he decided to use the stairs instead. It would give Buffy some time to recuperate. He also needed time to think.

When Angelus finally arrived at his office, he grabbed some business clothes from the closet. He always kept extra sets of clothing at his office. Who knew when an emergency would happen?

What color should it be today? Blue? Or dark blue? Or maybe even black?

*Hmm.....decisions, decisions.*

He decided to go with the black with a white, silk tie and white shirt.

Sitting down on his big armchair, Angelus looked over the files on his desk that Winfred, or Fred, had placed on his desk. But, as he was going through the numerous files, he couldn't get his mind off of the young woman he had picked up this morning.

He had to practically restrain himself from touching her. She was beautiful. With her sunkissed, blond hair and, from what he could tell, her smooth as silk skin. Her skin tone shone with a healthy glow. Her petite frame was so fragile that she could crumble beneath his hands. But her most alluring feature were her eyes. Casted in shadows and revealing none of her thoughts or feelings.

He wanted desperately to see her again. He wanted to see the emotional wall she built crumble and he wanted to be there when it happened. He wanted to know what had caused the deep shadows in her beautiful, hazel eyes and prevent it from ever happening again.

As much as he admitted to himself that he wanted to know her emotionally, he couldn't forget the fact that he wanted to know her physically as well.

The proof of his wayward thoughts stood proud and tall. He grimaced.

Suddenly, there was a buzz and Fred's voice floated in.

"Mr. Connors, Miss Buffy Summers is here for her appointment."

Angelus smiled, and answered to Fred. Telling her to allow Miss Summers to enter.

* * * *

As soon as she reached her floor, the fifth floor, Buffy rushed into the bathroom. She was late, she looked horrible, and she was *late*.

The boss of all bosses, otherwise known as Mr. Connors, was going to *kill* her. Crucify and hung at high noon.

Upon arriving at the women's facility, Buffy tried desperately to fix her hair and make-up. Deciding that no matter how hard she tried, it was hopeless. Mr. Connors would just have to live with the fact that she was a total mess.

When she was done, Buffy exited the bathroom and walked the short distance to her office. Ignoring the stares that were given in her direction.

*Why are they looking at me? Do I look *that* horrible?*

She was tempted to run back into the bathroom and hide forever, but she reminded herself that it didn't matter what they thought.

*It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me.*

Of course it didn't.

When she finally reached her office, Buffy closed the door and leaned against it. Breathing in deeply.

Buffy sat behind her small desk. This was where she felt safe. Behind the small desk and on the fairly large armchair that seemed to have swallowed her up. This was where she had the power. This was where she made a difference in the world. Her decisions and opinions were depended by the other employees and the clients.

This was where she was important. Not smothered in a tiny house with the cellar as her bedroom.

Buffy attempted to do some work, but images of soft, brown eyes kept floating across her mind. Eyes so brown it was nearly black. Eyes that were full of warmth but held it's own secrets. Telling her so much, yet so little.

*The eyes are the window's of a soul.*

She remembered the old saying. One of her favorite teachers had said it once in class. She hadn't believed it then and she had raised her hand in class to say so. The teacher asked why she didn't believe it and she had answered that eyes were just eyes. And if eyes could speak, they would be mouths instead. It had been her only time to talk infront of the class. It had been her last.

She remembered as if it were yesterday. The laughter. The chuckles. The smiles. Everyone had made fun of her, although she didn't know why. And she had bowed her head and never cried. Besides, she had reasoned, emotional pain is nothing compared to physical pain.

She was wrong.

Part 8

It was 9 o'clock. It was time for her appointment with the big boss. The one that could change her entire career forever. If he was impressed with her work at the company, he would, hopefully, give her a raise. If he was not.....well....the best she could hope for was that he was impressed.

Up until the time of their appointment, Buffy had tried in vain to concentrate on her paper works. Nothing unusual, the same boring crap that she got every morning before a client walked through her office. Although she did love her job, reading business papers were never very interesting to her. In fact, it was rather boring.

Doing research on her clients, finding out whatever she could about their case, which, typically, could take weeks. And when all the research had been done, she passed it on to the lawyer that was hired for the client.

Each week, she had a new client to research on. The job was stressful, but she could handle it. Besides, it's not as if she never had this much stress before. In fact, every day of her worthless life could add up to ten people's stress in three years.

After about an half an hour of staring at the same piece of paper, Buffy decided to give up on it. If she wasn't ableto concentrate half an hour ago, or now, she wouldn't be able to concentrate for the rest of the day. At least, until after her both meeting with the boss. She both dreaded and anticipated the meeting. She wanted to meet the genius behind the successful firm, Connors Inc., and,yet, she wanted to crawl into a deep hole and never come out.

The fear she was accustomed with, but the anticpation was killing her. She wanted to meet him so bad she could just imagine how he looked like. She imagined him sitting in front of a massive desk, papers and files organized neatly on his desk, a picture frame of his wife and children. She imagined him as a man in his forties, hair dark with light streaks of gray, small wringles at the corners of his eyes and mouth. Frowning, she would guess.

Buffy glanced at the clock and realized that it was almost time for her appointement with the boss.

She took a deep breath, walked out of her office, and entered the elevator.

She waited as patiently as possible for the secretary, Fred, to inform the boss of her arrival.

Fred smiled at her and told her to enter the office, the boss was waiting for her, she had said. But she had barely heard her words of the pounding of her heart. She was so nervous, one would think she was facing her execution or something even worst.

Her hand reached for the knob, turned it, and entered into the dark room. Disappearing behind the oak door.

******

When Fred buzzed in to tell him that Miss Buffy Summers awaited for him, he had smiled and couldn't retain the serious tone that he often use.

Before their appointment was to take place, he had taken up drinking coffee. All black. No sugar. Preparing himself for the meeting, he had turned his chair around so that he looked silhouetted against the bright light that entered through the office.

Angelus heard the door knob turn, his heart rate escalating with the anticipation of meeting the beautiful woman again, and could feel as soon as her entire body was within close distance with his. His body throbbed with awareness.

Buffy cleared her throat.

"Um....hello?" she said weakly, trying to capture his attention.

Angelus took awhile to answer. He turned his chair around slowly, for the dramatic effect he knew would happen, and heard her gasp.

"Y-y-you....what?....this...impossible!" She stuttered.

Angelus smirked, he was amused by her reaction to the fact that he was the one who had picked her up from the deserted road.

"Hello, Buffy. How are you?" He asked politely. "Would you care to take a seat?"

Buffy was too surprised to answer, she just plopped herself down on the uncomfortable seat, her mouth agape.

"You...." Buffy couldn't even finish her sentence, she had been shocked speechless. He was the man that had picked her up this morning, the one that she had treated like a verman. Oh, Dear God,she was so impolite to him.

She glanced at her lap, where her hands were twisting. What if her behavior in the car had affected his judgement of her? Well, of her worth at the company. Could he be so cruel?

Of course! He's a man! What did you expect? That he'd be happy with all you've done for the company and forgive you for the moment, however breif, of impoliteness.

But, whatever he did to her could never be as bad as what had already happened. No, because this time she wasn't about to let anybody, not no man or any other person, step all over her like she was a doormat to be used and disposed of.

She steeled herself, put up the proverbial wall between herself and everyone else, looked up and into the warm, chocolate-brown eyes. She gasped inaudibly at the intensity of the gaze. She had felt as if an electric current was running it's course throughout her body.

Too much emotions. She immediately put up the wall again, her eyes holding no warmth or feelings whatsoever, something that had not taken her long to learn.

Angelus reflected in remorse as he saw the light in her eyes disappear behind the imaginery wall. He knew now, for sure, that a troubled pass lay behind her. All he needed to know now was what it was.

Part 9

The meeting, although awkward as it was, had finished without anymore problems. Well, on Buffy's side, anyways. Unbeknownst to her, Angel was shifting uncomfortably in his rather comfortable cushioned seat. Of course, it was hard to think with steel in his pants.

He couldn't stop imagining Buffy, with her hair down, creating a halo around her beatiful face...on a pillow...Oh, Dear Lord, he'd better stop now.

That proved to be more difficult than he'd ever thought possible. He'd never wanted *anyone* so badly. Not even Darla, who had been his old flame awhile back, had cause this much discomfort in him.

He was nearly exploading when the meeting finally ended. He had been both relieved and sad that she had to leave him. Whenever she was near, he had felt a calmness in him. It was like his restless soul was able to rest with her presence, like a soul sensing its mate, its other half. But unless this meeting was over soon, he was going to take her...right then and now. And he had a feeling that Buffy wasn't going to appreciate it. Well...maybe not the taking her and...but she'd certainly appreciate the...

*Goddammit!* He swore to himself. He couldn't even go 5 minutes, much less one, without mentally making love to Buffy.

After she had left, he had leaned against the door and took a deep breath.

It was going to be difficult, but he'd get through it. He always did, but, as always, business came first.

He wasn't about to lose his head over a woman, albeit beautiful, gorgeous, and in need of a good loving as she was. He needed to become the best in this business, not just good, the best. That would take every waking hour of his time.

And, maybe, a few on courting the woman below his office.

* * * * * *

Buffy nearly ran down the hallway and down the stairs to her office. But that would have seemed weird to her co-workers. Not that she cared.

But, she opted to walk instead, she was out of breath as it was.

The meeting hadn't gone as badly as she had thought. Although, it did seem to have gone by so fast and he had seemed to have literally push her out of his office.

*Of course he did! What else do you think he'd do? Take you out on a date and actually talk to you about anything but business? NO! No way, ain't gonna happen, sweetie. Just LOOK at yourself! Your own father didn't even want you! What makes you think he would?*

It wasn't a happy thought, but her life had been a huge unhappy pile of junk sitting at the front of her mind, always reminding her of what she really was. A big, fat nothing.

*It doesn't matter what he thinks. It doesn't matter what ANYONE thinks, as long as *I* do, *ME* not anyone else.*

Straightening her back a little more, she sat down and began the work that would make her want to cry of boredom.

Part 10


				*Pixie* *Change Of Heart*



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