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TITLE: Human Hands
AUTHOR: Nico
E-MAIL: stoprobbers@hotmail.comDISCLAIMER: Ummm, Joss owns the series(es) and I own the fic. Take and die.
TIMELINE: S4, *right* after "Restless". As in, the next day. Er, night.
SPOILERS: Pretty much Season 4 stuff... Faith, Riley, First Slayer. Not too
much, though.
SYNOPSIS: "Whenever I put my foot in my mouth and you begin to doubt that
it's you I'm dreaming about.."
DISTRIBUTION: LoD, my site To Dust (http://decaying.net/buffy )
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The song is called "Human Hands" by Elvis Costello and is on
the "Imperial Bedroom" album. FABULOUS song. I reccomend downloading it...
you'll get a feel for the fic more. But don't read with the music.. the song
goes quite quickly.
FEEDBACK: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!! stoprobbers@hotmail.comRATING: PG-13, because I like cursing *grin*
Human Hands
It was a beautiful night, the kind that were so common and so rare all at
once. The moon was full and bright; almost another sun shining from the deep
blue sky in an imitation of a sunny day. Stars twinkled from a perfectly
clear sky and it seemed like a ripe time for a picnic. He, himself, was as
radiant as he could get; a glow issuing from his alabaster skin that had
never really been able to surface before. It was the look of someone who had
taken a year-long shower and finally washed all the grime away to reveal the
beauty hiding underneath.
His face was almost taken over by a huge smile, and his eyes were dancing
pools of bright chocolate brown. Even his wardrobe wasn't as dark as usual;
black slacks, a white shirt, a black leather jacket, his gold necklace. He
looked almost normal, and he almost blended; the only thing that still set
him apart was the pallor of his skin. And tonight, even that didn't bother
him. He was on a mission tonight.
Because even in the darkest of night, there was always one ray of sunshine
that shone through the heart of Sunnydale, and he had some very important
business with her that night. Business that should have been taken care of
months ago, but maybe Cordy was right and his skull was as thick as she
said, because it had taken him 'till now. But he finally had a 'now' to work
with, and he was going to work it as hard as he could.
I was talking to the wall and it's been answering me
Oh darling, how I miss you
I'm just a mere shadow of my former selfishness
I crave the silohouette of your kiss
He had missed it back in the winter, and looking back he didn't see how he
could have, but he had. He had missed the fear, the insecurity, the doubt
she had brought with her from Sunnydale, so close on Faith's heels. He had
mistaken it for vengence, for rage, for jealousy, for hurt, for a million
other things that were anything but the real thing. He had mistaken it for
selfishness, for righteous indignation. He thought it had been about Riley,
about infidelity. It hadn't. He hadn't been so wrong in many years.
He saw it now for what it was; for her fear *for* him, and not *of* Faith.
She knew he could hold is own in a fight, but she knew his judgement when it
came to redeeming lost souls was skewed beyond reason. And she, better than
anyone, knew how well Faith could manipulate an understanding heart. And she
had come to him, heart bleeding and mind raw, her vey soul violated, and he
hadn't listened to a word she'd said. What a fool he'd been.
He wasn't all in the wrong - the insults she'd thrown at him had been
inexcusable - but the grudge they'd both held was even more so. He'd been so
hurt for so long; the Riley-Revelation (as Cordelia so wittily called it)
had been a deep blow to his heart and his confidence. He'd been so hurt that
he'd retreated back into the shell that fit him so well and began to slide
into his former cryptic self, cutting himself off from those who loved him
most. And, from what he'd heard from Willow, so had Buffy.
With only the blue light of the TV on
Lip reading threats and false alarms
There's a boy somewhere who's holding hands with himself
And a girl in a window on the Reeperbarn
His skin prickled and his thoughts were torn away from the moments leading
up to now as she came into view. She was sitting on a tombstone, legs
swining back and forth, humming off-key under her breath. Her hair was
pulled back, a cascading mane of gold, and she wore a light jacket to ward
off the barest of California chills. She was thinner that she had been when
he'd last seen her, and he frowned briefly, but he could see that her inner
light had not waned at all. His smile doubled in size, and he briefly
thought about the coronary she'd have when she saw him looking so happy. He
knew how rare it was for him, but he couldn't help it tonight. She was
radiant, bathed in the light of the moon, and he wondered (not for the first
time) how they had messed it all up so badly.
Whenever I put my foot in my mouth and you begin to doubt
That it's you I'm dreaming about
Do I have to draw you a diagram?
All I ever want is just to fall into your human hands
He saw her back suddenly straighten and her head snap up, and decided to
step out of the shadows. While he didn't doubt she recognized the feel of
*him*, just as he recognized the feel of *her*, it wasn't wise to sneak up
on a Slayer while she was on the hunt. No matter how casual the hunt looked
to the outsider.
"Should I stomp or yodel?" he asked merrily as he stepped from the shadow of
the cemetary gate.
Her gaze snapped onto his face and she smiled a tiny smile, "Angel," she
said softly, "You remember that?"
"I remember every word you ever said to me," he admitted, smiling brightly
at her.
The smile fell off her face and she eyed him suspiciously, "Who did you
eat?"
"You know I only do takeout," he chided, his smile not fading in the least.
"You sure you didn't snack on Riley?"
His smile faltered a bit at that; he had pushed that obstacle stubbornly out
of his mind.
With the kings and the queens of the dancehall craze
Checkmate in three moves in your heyday
But the girls don't listen to your line anymore
Now you're a part of someone else
"Should I be on the look-out for him?" he fought to keep the edge from his
voice, "Don't want to run into him with a growly stomach."
"He's at home," she said softly, a look of sadness on her face, "It's been a
tough week. Especially for him."
"Really?"
"He kinda had his footing ripped from under him," Angel's smile widened and
she glared, "Metaphorically, of course."
"Sorry," he apologized, "I can't help it... the visual..."
"Gives you a happy, yeah yeah. Do me a favor, and hold your tongue."
"I didn't say a word."
"You wanted to."
On the factory floor, you still say "Where's the action?"
Now you manufacture happiness
And get sold on the cheap for someone's satisfaction
"But I didn't."
"I don't care," she threw her hands in the air, "I don't care and I don't
want to talk about Riley because all he's giving me right now is a headache.
It's been a *really* tough week. What do you want?"
Aw, shit. He'd fucked it up again. Foot, meet mouth. Oh, I see you're old
acquaintances. Somehow, I'm not surprised.
"Buffy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Make me feel like shit? Yeah, well, it's not that hard to do," she gave him
a piteous look, "What do you want? What do you need?"
Whenever I put my foot in my mouth and you begin to doubt
That it's you that I'm dreaming about
Do I have to draw you a diagram?
All I ever want is just to fall into your human hands.
"I just wanted to talk to you, Buffy," he said, walking up to her, hands in
his pockets.
Her arms wrapped around her own waist protectively, "Yeah, well, we're
talking."
"Relax."
"I can't, okay?" she gritted out, frustration coloring all of her features,
"I've had a shitty week, and Riley's going nuts, and I had to channel the
First Slayer, and then she tried to kill us in our dreams, and it's all
fucked up, okay? Everything's fucked up and I can't look Riley in the eye
because he fucked Faith and it *STILL* bothers me, and now YOU'RE here and
that ALWAYS throws me off, you KNOW that--"
"Buffy-"
"It's too much!" she dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, "Goddamn, I
just want a fucking vacation!"
"I know a portal to another dimension?"
She stared up at him in silence for a moment, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."
"It's under the post office," he added helpfully, smiling down at her.
She continued to stare at him in bewilderment, "You're scaring me."
All you toy soldiers and scaremongers
Are you living in this world, sometimes I wonder
In between saying you've seen too much and saying you've seen it all before
He reached out and pulled her into his arms and she relaxed easily against
him. He rocked her gently, resting his chin on the top of her head. She
breathed deep, nose in the vee of his shirt, and he resisted the urge to
giggle as her exhaling breath tickled his skin.
"What the fuck is this?" she asked, not sounding at all annoyed.
"I love you," he answered simply.
She went rigid in his arms and her head jerked up to look at him, "What?"
"I love you," he repeated softly, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"I- I don't understand..."
"There's nothing to understand," he rested his forehead against hers, "I
just love you."
Tighter and tighter I hold you tightly
You know I love you more than slightly
Although I've never said it like this before..
"I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, Buffy Summers. You are the
light in my life, the sunshine in my soul, the apple of my eye. I could
never love anyone nearly as much as I love you, and forget about loving
anyone more- it's not possible. I love the way the moon lights up your hair,
and the way it glows gold to light up the graveyards you patrol. I love the
way your emerald green eyes dance with mirth when you laugh, and the way
they shine with love when you look at me. I love the way your nose scrunches
when you're about to sneeze. I love the way you squeak when you yawn, the
way you pick at your toenails when you don't have clippers handly, the way
you accidentally dent poles and break dishes when you're not paying
attention to your own strength. I love every single thing about you, from
your toes to your eyelashes, from your wit to your anger. I've never loved
someone so much in my life, and I never will."
"I- I didn't know.. I couldn't-"
"Don't ever," he said sternly, softening his tone with a gently kiss to the
tip of her nose, "Ever, ever, *ever* doubt that. The world could melt and
fall into Hell and that wouldn't change."
"Don't say that!" she chastised, "It could happen!!"
"It wouldn't matter. I'd be there to hold you and kiss you just the same. I
love you. I love you a thousand times until time ends-"
Whatever else he had planned to say was silenced as her lips pressed against
his, and he allowed his confession to melt into a kiss.
Whenever I put my foot in my mouth and you begin to doubt
That it's you that I'm dreaming about
Do I have to draw you a diagram?
All I ever want is just to fall into your human hands
All I ever want is just to fall into your human hands
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