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Title: A Story of Kismet
Author: Diana
Disclaimer: I don't own "Buffy," and all characters herein are property of
Joss et. al. Although, if Joss wishes to sell them to me I will be more
than willing to negotiate (wink, wink).
Spoilers: General spoilers for the entire show.
Timeline: AU, probably the beginning of the second season in my warped
universe.
Synopsis: Angel and his friends are amateur demon hunters that live in
Sunnydale. Buffy, a vampire sans the soul, visits with her fellow clan
members and wackyness ensues. (Wow, this is great! Original plot and
everything. A ha ha ha ha ha! [bang] <--sound of my head hitting my desk
in frustration,)
Feedback: I follow a strict "want, take, have" policy. Just tell me where
it's going.
Rating: A PG-13 for now.
*
Chapter One
"Enter, Stage Left."
*
Angel O'Rourke listened to the heels of his shoes clack loudly against the
floor of the halls in Sunnydale High. The clacks were coming in fairly
rapid succession: 'clack, clack, clack,' but then again, he was walking at
a fairly brisk pace. He passed the darkened rooms of his teachers, and the
closed, abandoned lockers of his classmates. School had been over for
hours, and there was really no reason that Angel should be in the school
after dark in the first place.
Except that he was late for the meeting Giles had called this
morning. Angel winced as he glanced at his watch and sped up a little more.
Left, left, past the janitor's closet, quick right and he was through the
double doors, trying not to think about his nervousness. Giles practically
thrived on punctuality.
His friends were already there, seated at the large oak table in the center
of the library, gathered around books. He cast a wary smile their way, and
brushed his hand through his hair as he met Giles' eyes.
"Ah, nice to see you've finally decided to grace us with your presence,
Mr.O'Rourke," announced Giles, exiting his office with a dusty volume in
each hand.
"Sorry, Giles," mumbled Angel. He shrugged off his leather jacket and
placed it on the counter, then walked forward to accept the two books from
Giles.
"An hour and fifteen minutes, Angel," Giles told him. He took off his
glasses and reached into his pocket for an ever-present cloth and began to
polish the glass absently, "What, pray tell, was so important that it made
you forget a rather important meeting?"
"I, uh." Angel trailed off, clearly not wanting to specify. He realized
that Giles wouldn't be happy with him until he detailed his whereabouts,
and then continued, "Snyder chewed me out this afternoon, and then called
home. So my mom grounded me, and I couldn't sneak out until just a few
minutes ago."
Giles sighed and tucked his cloth back into his jacket pocket, then
replaced his glasses. "Angel."
Xander raised his eyebrows when Angel took a seat across from him. "What'd
you do this time?" he asked in interest.
"I released the school mascot in Snyder's office," Angel grinned a
little. Giles sighed again as he went back into his office to recover
another book.
"I heard about that," said Willow, brushing her long red hair off of her
shoulders as she leaned forward and asked him worriedly, "You didn't hurt
the poor pig, did you?"
Angel replied, "How long have you known me again, Willow?" When her
expression remained the same he smiled reassuringly at her. "Of course not."
She smiled in relief. "Sometimes you never know."
"So, Angel," said Xander, "You know why you're here?"
"No." At this he craned his head around to look at Giles.
Giles jumped in, "I've already informed Xander and Willow. There's a new
clan in town."
Angel absorbed this with a nod of his head.
"Apperently, minions have already secured a place, uh, a mansion from what
I've gathered and the higher-ups are expected to arrive at any time."
"Do we know anything about them?" asked Angel, tapping his chin.
Giles cleared his throat, "Yes, uh, I've actually only met one of these
vampires. Kendra, ah.Kendra came across Spike one night."
Angel lowered his eyes to the table in respect for the desceased. Giles
had been Kendra's watcher when she had transferred to Sunnydale High three
years ago as the next Chosen One. Angel, Willow and Xander, however, had
not met her until her last few months she was alive. They had been
attacked by vampires one night and rescued by none other than the Slayer
herself. They had become the "slayerettes" quickly after and close friends
with the emotionless, but loyal, Kendra.
Giles had been pretty torn up about her death at the hands of a rogue
vampire, and the Watcher's Council had forced him into an early
retirement. He continued to fight demons anyway, to the bafflement of
Angel and his friends. Despite that, they'd agreed to help Giles. They
were his friends, and he was like a father to them.
Angel was the unofficial leader of the group, being the only person strong
enough to physically fight Kendra and have a small chance. Angel didn't
kid himself, Kendra could have easily kicked his ass each time she trained
with him, probably blind-folded and with her hands tied behind her
back. Angel also knew that what he had in brute strength was outmatched by
Willow's knowledge of the black arts and Xander's jarringly good improv
skills when fighting.
Willow smiled comfortingly at Giles, "She probably kicked his ass and
scared him out of town."
Giles returned the smile gratefully and Angel noticed him blinking rapidly,
"Yes, I'm sure. Uh, anyway, the Brethren of Aurelius was formerly headed
by the Master, who is currently dead, as you all know. The next in command
was Darla, who was staked about ten years ago by a demon hunter, ah.uh,
Holtz, who had been enlisted in killing her. Now the clan is controlled by
William the Bloody, or rather Spike, and his two childer, Druscilla, who is
insane from what I've heard, and a girl named Buffy Summers."
"What's wrong with the Buffy one?" asked Xander.
"Ah, nothing, supposedly. She was also a nun in the convent Spike found
Drusilla in, but I don't think he bothered to drive her insane also."
"Okay," said Angel, "Anything else?"
"Uh, not much. Just.keep on the lookout during patrols. And please be
extra careful. Bring bottles of holy water and a couple of crucifixes."
Giles nodded at Angel's neck, where an ornate silver cruicifix was always hung.
"All right then, time to go home!" said Xander.
Angel got up to leave, as did Xander and Willow, and they headed
out. Angel felt a hand on his shoulder as he picked up his jacket, and he
turned around.
"Angel, do please try to stay out of trouble," pleaded Giles. "It doesn't
help us fight the good fight when you're grounded."
Angel answered heatedly, "Snyder, the little troll that he is, was asking
for it! He had the gall to." Angel stopped at Giles' look, and continued
on in a gentler tone," .But I will try to be good. I promise, Giles."
Giles nodded, "Thank you. And be careful."
"Always," said Angel, slipping on his jacket. He ran out the double doors
and called out to his friends as he hurried to catch up.
*
Buffy Summers stepped out of Spike's DeSoto and onto the hard pavement with
grace.
She watched emotionlessly as Spike helped Drusilla out and slammed the
driver's side door. Finally she remarked with a measure of disdain, "You
ran over the sign." Spike looked over at the crushed sign on the ground
underneath his tires that read "Welcome to Sunnydale." Buffy smiled coldly
at him.
"Sod off," replied Spike snidely, as he supported Dru with one arm.
"Just sayin'," muttered Buffy. She crossed her arms over her chest and
looked around, "So this is Sunnydale, huh? I like it."
"Why?" asked Spike disgustedly. "I'm only here because you have some crazy
yen to see the Hellmouth, and I don't see anything Hellmouthy about it
right now."
"Do I look like I fucking care what you see or don't see?" asked Buffy,
quirking an eyebrow.
Spike said sharply, "Hey! Watch your mouth."
She turned to him and ordered, "Go find that mansion place. I'm going to
wander the graveyards and measure up the fledglings."
"Excuse me?" said Spike incredulously at her tone of voice, "Out of the
three of us here, which one of us is the other's Sire?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes and met his gaze boldly, pursing her lips
together. She didn't say anything, but her annoyance was clear.
Spike sighed and muttered, "Ever the rebel. Don't know why I sired the
bitch." He said in a louder voice, "Go on, then. We'll be at the
mansion." He turned back to Drusilla, already dismissing Buffy from his mind.
Buffy pouted prettily at his back and marched off. Spike may not have
wanted to have a fun time, but that damn well wasn't going to stop HER from
having fun.
Chapter Two
"The Players In Question"
*
Angel sat atop a gravestone, hunched over his History homework. There was
almost no game that night so Angel took the opportunity to catch up on his
schoolwork (which usually suffered repercussions from his extracurricular
activities. His English teacher was hopelessly confused as to why Angel
spent so much time in the library, and yet made straight Ds in her class.)
He shut his textbook loudly, and sighed. Couldn't it have been Willow's
night to patrol? After all, if his mother wandered into his room and found
out that the snoring she heard was actually a CD on repeat and that the
shape under the covers was actually two pillows, he would be in deep shit.
Another loud sigh erupted from his lips. Minutes passed and trees
whispered in the wind as leaned back on his arms atop the gravestone. With
his homework done, patrol slumped back into it's usual position of being
the most boring thing on earth.
He was wasting time going through a list of cute girls at school he
wouldn't mind sleeping with when a newly risen vampire jumped out at
him. Angel wrestled with the vampire for a few minutes before pinning him
to the ground and keeping it there by effectively straddling the
monster. It was going to be a very easy staking, Angel could tell already,
because the vampire was obviously dumb as a post and had no
coordination. He was a pretty tall though, with blonde hair and what
would've been blue eyes had he not been in game face.
Angel grinned into the vampire's distorted face, "You look like you're
straight off the farm. What, was your family from Iowa or something?" He
plunged a stake into the vampire's chest and watched with pleasure as the
dust exploded around him.
"You gotta wonder why they keep biting people like that...." He knelt,
brushing himself off, when he was met with the sound of loud footsteps
crunching on gravel pathway a few yards away.
"Stand up, please," said a girl's voice. He almost shuddered; she had the
most beautiful voice he'd ever heard.
He stood up slowly and turned around to face her. "Uh.hello."
The girl was a petite blonde that was wearing a dangerously short
mini-skirt and a tight tank top. He could see her features clearly in the
moonlight. Shoulder length blonde hair and large eyes that were probably
green if he had to guess. Angel found himself, for the first time in all
of his seventeen years on the planet Earth, hopelessly, utterly, completely
in love with this beautiful specimen of a woman.
"May I ask why you are dusting my potential minions?" she asked, crossing
her arms.
Scratch that. He found himself hopelessly, utterly, and completely in love
with this beautiful VAMPIRE. Angel had a very strong urge to stamp his
feet and throw a temper tantrum at the sudden unfairness of life.
"Uh, because that's what I usually do on patrol.?" he answered lamely,
still dumbfounded by her beauty. Well, that and he could hear his raging
teenage hormones roaring through his veins, which effectively blocked out
most other sources of noise.
She raised her eyebrows, "Well, you certainly aren't the Slayer," she said
as she eyed his body lustily, "so why would you waste your time doing her job?"
"Because I'm taking over in her absence," he said. There was a pause and
then he added hastily, "Kendra died a while back."
"Kendra." mused the girl, "Defeated the Master, am I right?"
Angel nodded wordlessly. Damn, how he'd like to touch her body, roam his
hands over her firm breasts, then trail them down to her hips and --
The girl interrupted his train of thought abruptly, "She was smart to do
so. I hated that guy, he was always leering at me."
Not unlike himself at the moment, thought Angel, not feeling particularly
guilty about his amorous thoughts. Hell, this girl was MADE to be leered at.
She inspected him, "What's your name, boy?"
"Angel," he replied, then added automatically "What's yours?"
She considered. ".Anne."
"Pretty name," he said shortly.
She smiled amusedly, "I could say the same for you, Angel." He noted the
way she stressed his name slightly. "I would ask how you received it, but
I am in a position of not caring."
Angel disregarded the minor insult, and instead asked his own
question. "What are you doing out here, anyway?"
She chose not to answer, and merely smiled secretively at him. She clasped
her hands behind her back securely and walked closer to him, her boots
sinking softly in the grass. She made a wide arc around his body, and he
could feel her intense perusal. Finally, she said, "I like you."
"Uh. thanks," choked out Angel, clutching his stake. He was aware of many
things right then. That a) this was a vampire, b) this was a vampire that
was attracted to him, and c) this was a very beautiful vampire that was
attracted to him. He also realized that his life was most likely in
danger, but he couldn't bring himself to care right at that exact moment.
He was SO glad Giles wasn't here and couldn't read his mind.
Anne stopped directly behind him, and leaned up close to his neck to
breathe softly, "Would you like to take a walk with me?"
Angel was silent for long moments, moments in which he considered saying
"God, yes!" and "Oh, please," then answered, "No offense or anything, but
not especially."
"Why not?" she asked, in that bemused voice again. She blew on his neck
gently and he shuddered.
Angel struggled to remember what he was going to reply. Finally it came to
him, "Uh.because I really don't want to be dead."
She appeared in front of him, smiling widely. Her lips were full, and she
wore a pale pink lip-gloss that made them shine. He was transfixed to them.
She craned her face up to his ear and whispered, "Who said anything about
being dead?" Then she kissed him hard, just enough to make him want more,
and quickly slipped away.
"I'll be seeing you around town, Angelheart," she called as she disappeared
into the trees.
Angel stared at where she'd been standing and slowly brought one hand to
his mouth.
"Anne." he murmured hoarsely, completely lost.
A vampire.
Damn.
Chapter Three
"Dancin' Through the Streets"
*
"You plannin' on paying attention anytime soon?" asked Xander as he leaned
over his desk to tap Angel's head.
Angel shook the other boy's hand off and blinked rapidly, "What?" He
scanned the room, acknowledging the teacher's turned back and the quiet
conversations around him, then fixed his gaze on Xander.
"You were zoning out there for a while," said Xander. His eyes lit up and
he smiled deviously, "What's her name?"
Angel almost said "Anne" but he bit his tongue quickly and blustered, "What
are you talking about?"
Xander looked at him pointedly, "You have your moony-girl face on right
now. It's pretty obvious."
"I don't have moony-girl face," replied Angel defensively. Xander merely
raises his eyebrows skeptically. "I don't," repeated Angel sullenly.
"I don't belie-e-eve you," sang Xander. He waggled his fingers at him.
Angel turned away from him and concentrated, for once, on what the teacher
was doing which was also nothing, for once.. Xander was quiet for a couple
moments and Angel finally figured the endless pestering was over. Then
Xander poked his shoulder, and Angel looked over at him again.
"Here," said Xander, smiling. He pushed over a piece of torn, folded
notebook paper. Angel opened it, spared a curious glance at Xander then
down at the picture. It was a scribble of what must've been Angel (the
hair was very overdone) that stared back at him with large eyes and a
grinning mouth. A speech bubble read "I am so enamored with a girl! La la
laaa!"
Angel stuck his tongue out childishly and crumpled the paper.
Xander merely grinned in response. A minute later, Angel's moony-girl face
forgotten for the moment, he asked, "Are we doing the patrol-thing tonight?"
"Yeah. Not with Will, though. She said her parents were making her go to
dinner with friends."
"How 'bout your girl?" asked Xander slyly.
"She's not " Angel stopped and glared. "Xander, this is your brain." He
held up the wadded-up ball of Xander's drawing. "This is you're brain on
crack." He pounded the paper hard with his fist.
"Sight gags don't work in fanfiction," Xander replied automatically.
"...What?" asked Angel, confused.
The teacher turned back to the class at that point and both Angel and
Xander quieted.
*
"Ho-hum-diddly-dum," sang Xander loudly. He grinned at Angel, who was
tossing his stake up and down idly. "Having fun?"
Angel replied, a touch snidely," There are two answers to that
question. One of which is wrong, for obvious reasons."
"I don't know why you don't like patrolling," Xander said. "It's such a
blast."
"God, you're right," said Angel sarcastically. "Why didn't I see it
before? It's like a party."
Xander harrumphed and wandered on ahead. The path circled the cemetery the
two young men were in. Usually Angel would make a go of it three times
when on patrol unless he decided to sit down and wait for the newly risen
ones to come to what smelled like food to them.
The graveyard was pretty small, but also pretty popular out of the twelve
in Sunnydale, which was why Angel patrolled it most often. It was small
enough that a yell could be heard easily, so the two boys really had no
qualms about separating despite the utter boredom of being by one's self.
Xander could handle himself in most fights, and Angel didn't worry about
him. Willow knew enough magic to tentatively use a few spells on vampires,
and she was also a fairly adept fighter. Occasionally, Willow would bring
her boyfriend Oz, who has the unfortunate bad luck of being an animal three
nights out of the month. Xander's on-again, off-again relationship with
Cordelia, the school's queen, never ventured near patrolling despite the
fact that Cordelia was well aware of the supernatural things that happened
in Sunnydale (she was on the receiving end of it most of the time).
Xander appeared beside Angel again, and said eagerly, "You wanna
split? We've done two sweeps already and it's quiet out tonight."
"Why with the happiness?" asked Angel suspiciously.
"No reason. Just patrol-happy. You know how giddy I get when I kill things."
"That is scary on SO many levels," Angel told him.
Xander pocketed his stake, "Come on, already. Let's go! Chop-chop!"
"You wanna go to.the Bronze," guessed Angel, "Because, oh, I don't know,
Cordy said she MIGHT make an appearance."
"Yeah but.Oz's band is playing too," Xander reminded him quickly.
"Let's do one more lap around the path, then I'll go to the Bronze with you
for an hour."
"Alright!" said Xander.
"Just an hour," said Angel firmly, after a quick glance to his watch.
The two demon hunters did one more sweep, and when they found nothing they
quickly dispatched to Sunnydale's residential club.
As soon as Angel walked in the door, a weird feeling hit him in the gut and
he literally stumbled back into Xander, not used to the sensation.
"What is it, man?" asked Xander worriedly.
"Ah, nothing," replied Angel, shaking his head.
"All right," said Xander, sounding uncertain. When Angel gave him a
reassuring grin Xander gave him one more close look and then let it go.
"This place is packed tonight, Angel! You might even find a girl!" Xander
laughed uproariously at his own joke while Angel scowlned.
It was well known that Angel was not into dating even though he had a large
following at school and was sought after constantly. After Kate, he lost
interest in dating, and he hadn't gone out with anyone for several months.
Xander went off to secure a table and get drinks while Angel climbed the
stairs to the second floor for a look around. He watched the throngs of
teenagers dancing to the strong tempo and pulsating beat beneath him with
interest. Not seeing anything suspicious, he turned to go back when a
familiar voice said behind him, "Fancy meeting you here."
Angel immediately stiffened. "I could say the same about you," he replied.
Anne didn't come into view, but stayed just behind him. He shuddered when
he felt her fingernail trace lightly over his back. "And why is that, my
Angel?" she asked.
"I don't picture you as a clubber," he said, his eyes fixed upon the band
onstage below him.
"Well," she said lightly, "People don't picture me doing a lot of things I
do." The feather-light touch on his back skimmed up to his shoulders and
then down one arm. When she got to his hand, she slipped her own smaller
one into his. He clasped the cold fingers tightly.
"Like killing people?" asked Angel emotionlessly.
"There's that, for instance," Anne allowed slyly.
Angel used the pressure of his hand around hers to spin her in front of
him. She smiled seductively and Angel gulped at her attire. Form-fitting
red leather pants and a black sleeveless top. Damn, he thought unhappily,
she's still beautiful. For the last twenty-four hours he'd been hoping
against hope that his imagination had exaggerated her beauty.
"Wanna dance?" she asked, pulling her hand free and resting it lightly on
his hip.
Angel suddenly, painfully, realized that he was *flirting with a vampire*
and felt the disgust accompanied with the thought. Vampires were what bit
and killed humans. Vampires were what tortured innocent people. Vampires
were what made it unsafe to leave the house at night. Vampires were what
killed Kendra.
Angel wrenched free of Anne and said harshly, "*No.*" He turned away
before he could see he Anne's shocked and bewildered expression and
stumbled down the stairs back to the lower level quickly. He threaded his
way through the crowds until he reached the table that Xander and Oz were
seated at.
"Band's taking a break," Oz said by way of greeting,
Angel forcefully pushed the Anne-incident out of his mind and replied in
what sounded like a mockery of his normal, easy voice, "So I
noticed. Sorry Will isn't with us. She had to go to dinner with family."
"Yeah, she told me," Oz said, leaning back.
"See any badness up there?" asked Xander, nodding his head towards the ceiling.
"What?" asked Angel in a slightly hysterical voice. "I, uh. no. No, I
didn't."
Not noticing Angel's odd behavior. Xander engaged them all in a
conversation on how Giles was stuffy and British. Angel laughed genuinely
more than once, and he was glad for Xander's off-the-wall humor in that
moment.
He could feel Anne's sharp eyes on his table from above though and knew she
could hear every word. Angel didn't make eye contact and Anne didn't
bother approaching him again.
Chapter Four
"The Plot Thickens.And Then It Boils Over."
*
Buffy was outraged. How dare he? How DARE he? Shunned by a stupid, petty
*human.* Angel's emphasized "No," kept ringing loudly in her ears.
She watched him contemptuously from her perch and listened to snatches of
his conversation. Most of it held no meaning for her. She sneered when
she heard his rich laughter. If she could wind her fingers around his
stupid, puny neck..if she could snap it like the insignificant twig it was..
She overheard him say, "But, Xander, the British *are* naturally superior
to us stupid Americans. That's why Giles must push it in our faces every
second of every day."
What did she see in him anyway? Nice abs? Strong arms? A toned body? She
knew dozens of men that fit that description who would gladly fall over
themselves to be near her.
Why did she have to want *this* one? Why couldn't she just kill him?
Buffy almost stomped her foot in frustration. Then she frowned, turned on
her heel, and stalked out of the club. She needed a good kill. Scratch
that, she needed several good kills. Several long, drawn out torturous kills.
She found herself prowling the emptied streets in her game face. While
most of the population of Sunnydale didn't know *why* it was unsafe in
their town they were aware that it wasn't exactly low on the death rate
scale. The majority made a conscious effort to stay indoors at night.
Buffy growled. Angel wasn't anything special. Hell, he didn't even
warrant her attention. So why was she so obsessed with him?
After she met him the previous night she'd followed him for the rest of his
patrol around the graveyard then finally trailed him home. He had a large
oak tree outside his window, which he'd used to climb into his bedroom, and
she'd sat there for hours watching him sleep peacefully. Then she'd gone
back to the mansion Spike had bought and slept the day through. She'd
woken up moments before dusk set in and she'd to Restfield to wait for him
and his friend.
Buffy was so engrossed in her thoughts that she bumped into someone. A
human girl, frail-looking with exotic coloring. She looked to be of Romani
descent. Buffy smiled around her fangs. Great, a quick snack. This was a
fairly suburban area, and Buffy was fairly hungry. The torture could
wait. The frightened girl caught sight of Buffy's distorted face and she
screamed loudly. She struggles against Buffy's strength were in vain, but
she continued to shout, which was annoying.
Buffy laughed and clutched her close, then grabbed her head and bent it
harshly. "I was hoping to add a little culture into my diet," she
snarled. She sank her teeth in the girl's jugular and drank deeply.
Buffy was just finishing off the last bit of blood when cries from the
building she was in front of startled her. The girl she'd killed had
probably been part of the apartment complex because a middle-aged woman
yelled the girl's name from the window.
Buffy dropped the girl's now lifeless body in surprise and tensed to run.
She gasped as she was grabbed by two men from behind, caught unaware and
not used to their strength. They pulled her roughly into the building with
a muttered invitation while another young woman rushed past him to attend
the bitten girl.
"She is dead," said the young woman mournfully in a thick accent.
Buffy snapped at the two men as they tied her hands and held them. An old
lady sat very still in the center of the room with her eyes shut as the
middle-aged woman Buffy had seen from the window scrambled around bringing
her supplies.
"Why don't we forget this whole thing ever happened?" said Buffy around her
fangs, struggling with the men. She changed back into her human face and
pouted prettily at them.
"You killed my daughter, you monster!" said one harshly in response. The
pain in his voice was apparent.
"Whoops," said Buffy, "Well, you know how hard it is to see in the dark."
"We'll make the beast pay dearly," promised the first young woman softly to
the man as she stepped inside with the dead girl's limp body in her arms.
The old lady began to chant, and at first it was in a soft tone, but as the
spell she wove drew near to its end her voice strengthened.
Finally the old woman yelled "ACUM! ACUM!" and power swelled around the
room, drawing tighter around Buffy and choking her. A bright gold light
flashed in Buffy's eyes and she immediately ceased struggling. She gasped
as she felt something enter her body with force and she lost consciousness
for a moment. The men let go and stepped back, watching in awe as her eyes
returned to their normal green and she slumped limply to the floor.
"It worked," gasped the young woman.
Buffy's head snapped up in confusion and she said, "Wha. What
happened? .I..I don't remember."
With no pity in his dark eyes, one of the men escorted her to door without
gentleness. "It will come to you in time, Evil One."
"Where am I?" asked Buffy desperately, "I remember this guy with this
bleached blonde hair, I met him one night and he his eyes! They were
yellow. and his teeth and, oh, god, his face! And he was snarling. like an
animal, and I was *so* scared but I couldn't run and then suddenly his
teeth were in my neck and---"
Buffy's broken monologue was cut off by the slam of the door in her
face. She stared at it for a second in bewilderment
"Wait," she shouted at the door, "He's not a good man! You have to tell
Dru that the guy isn't.. he isn't..good." The last part was faint as Buffy
realized that they would not open the door again. She stumbled backwards,
falling in the middle of the deserted street.
For a long moment she sat there wondering what was happening and if the man
with that face disfiguration had gotten her intoxicated. Poor Dru had her
heart set on him. But Buffy had seen his face!
.His face! Oh, god.
But then the memories came sweeping back into her mind and she watched her
death and unlife unfold before her eyes. The images were quick, lightening
fast, and she relived nearly two centuries in a little under two seconds.
Gasping, Buffy leaned over and retched on the pavement beside her. The
sound was loud in the quiet night. It seemed like she was going to be sick
forever. But the things she'd done. Another strong wave of nausea swept
through her and she leaned over again.
After she was done throwing up, Buffy stood tremblingly and broke into a
run towards the mansion. She had to find Spike and Dru . *They* would
help her.
They *had* to help her.
Chapter Five
"A Wacky Party of Pain."
*
"Explain this to me again," said Spike, sounding frustrated. He took a
long drink of the bottle in his hand and sighed.
Buffy had come in crying not a half an hour before, and she hadn't stopped
yet. Her wailing was doing nothing to assauge the migraine that had sprung
up on him. It didn't help that between her re-account of what happened to
her she would say something like "Oh, god, all those people I killed!" or
"I'm such a horrible person!" or "Stake me now, goddamn you!"
Buffy explained one more time as she let Dru rock her. Dru forced Buffy to
cradle Miss Edith and shushed her like a mother would. Buffy continued to
try and hand the doll back to Dru, who was having none of it. She
hiccuped, "What should I do?"
"Damned if I know," muttered Spike. He paced the stone room, occasionally
taking a swig from his bottle and rubbing his temple. Think. Thank,
damnit, he had to think! Fuck, what the hell happened to her??
"Is there. is there any one you know in this town other than us?" he asked
finally, running a hand through his bleached hair and pulling it roughly at
the scalp.
Buffy frowned, her drawn, tear-stained face tightening even more. They had
only just arrived in Sunnydale; she had no long-term acquaintances that
were even remotely trustworthy. The knowledge that something terribly,
dreadfully wrong had happened to Buffy, had weakened her considerably,
would spread like wildfire and would eventually be the downfall of their
entire clan. "No. not that I'm aware." she stopped and gasped,
"Angel! He's part of the white hats, but he knows Kendra's watcher!"
Spike looked very relieved. That meant he wouldn't have to do any thinking
on his own, then. He didn't know how Buffy knew anyone one (any GUY for
that matter) named Angel, but if he had a connection to someone with
resources, then all the better for Buffy's continuing health. "Good,
good. We'll go to him first thing tomorrow evening and find out what's
happened to you, love," said Spike. He looked at her disheveled appearance
critically and added, "Dru, why don't you help Buffy clean herself up, and
then we'll all get some much needed sleep." Tomorrow, dealing with the
good guys would take a lot of energy.
Dru patted Buffy's head sympathetically and helped her up. Together, the
two females walked out of the room. Spike watched them and sighed again as
he heard Dru's voice taper off, "Poor baby. You're big sissy will take good
care of you."
Vampires weren't typically known for being close to others of their kind,
but Spike had been traveling around the world with Dru and Buffy for a long
time. He would be damned if he was going to lose the only family he'd
managed to keep. He cared for Dru like a lover and he cared for Buffy like
an annoying little sister. He and Buffy may not have had the best
Sire-Childe relationship, but they had a relationship nonetheless and he
wouldn't let Buffy go out like she was at the moment.
God knew what would happen to her then. She might to something insane
like move to New York and live homeless off of rats in alleyways.
Spike shuddered at the thought and took another long swallow.
*
"Why do I spend all my time here?" asked Angel the next evening as he
flipped through another demon text. He leaned back, popping several
vertabrae in his spine as he did so. He grimaced as he reached for yet
another demon-y text. "It's not like it's fun or anything."
Willow said, "Yeah, this researching stuff is totally overrated. I mean, I
know I had that research-themed birthday party that one year, but--"
Xander looked startled, "I don't remember that one.... I would remember
that one...." He paused, "Ew, reseach-themed? Willow, you have so many
issues I don't want to begin to delve into...."
"Kidding," sighed Willow, although the word seemed moot at this point. She
snapped a book shut and sighed, "Giles, can we go home? It's already
seven-thirty."
"Just a minute," said Giles stubbornly "We still haven't found any mention
at all of the Quorynth demon."
Xander tapped his finder against the cover of the book in his lap, "I don't
even think a demon like that exists, Giles. We've been at this for
hours. Not ONE mention." He looked wistfully at the empty box in the
center of the table, "And Angel took the last jelly doughnut."
"Pig," coughed Willow into her hand. Angel grinned at the two, not looking
particularly sorry. A fact that was enforced when he licked his lips and
rubbed his stomach exaggeratedly.
"Perhaps if you all were more efficient we would have . " Giles' oncoming
lecture on adolescent responsibility was abruptly halted by the three
people that chose to burst into the library at that moment.
Angel's eyes widened in shock at the sight of Anne clutching at her female
companion, looking rather worse for wear, if her haggard expression and
slumped posture had anything to say about it.
"I beg your pardon," began Giles then stopped in shock, "William the Bloody!"
"The name's Spike," snapped the vampire in question, "We need your help,
Watcher. It's an emergency."
"And why would we want to help *you*?" asked Xander snidely. "You're a
vampire."
"Thanks for reminding me, otherwise I might have almost nearly forgot."
Spike replied in the almost exact same snide tone, "Besides, It's something
your bloody council will want to hear about."
"We aren't affiliated with the council anymore," said Giles stiffly,
standing in front of the table. Angel noted his shaking hands that he had
clasped firmly behind his back, but his attention was soon brought back to
Anne's haunted expression.
"Will you just please help her?" pleaded Spike, "We can't do it because we
don't know what it is! She's my childe and something's happened to her!"
"I don't think." began Giles. "What I mean to say is, we aren't in the
business of helping the forces of evil."
"Please!" said Spike desperately, "You've got one of the world's most
powerful vampires bloody begging you! We'll be indebted to you!"
"Giles," said Angel softly. He didn't look at the Watcher, his attention
stayed riveted to the small blonde who was shaking violently. He knew it
was wrong, but he wanted to help her with everything inside him. This
wasn't the Anne from the Bronze.
"Angel," said Xander warningly, looking at him sharply. For once the boy
was totally serious. Angel looked away under his piercing gaze, but
remained steadfast.
Giles was silent for a very long time. Finally he said, "All right."
Xander choked, "What? Are you serious?"
"Here's the deal, take it or leave it. We'll try to help your, uh, friend
to the best of our abilities, and in return we may call upon your services
whenever we feel the need. We give an order, you obey."
"Giles!" cried Xander, standing up. Willow looked like she was in shock.
"Stay out of this Xander," said Giles.
"No!" he said, "Not when you're WILLINGLY helping these monsters. Have you
forgotten about Kendra? Have you forgotten what his kind did to
her?" Xander was shaking with barely contained rage. "You're
just...LETTING them into the library and after a quick little 'pooh-pooh,
no we won't' spiel, you agree? JUST LIKE THAT?" He was yelling at that
point. Anne looked startled and afraid and Angel itched to beat Xander's
head into the table for making her look like that.
"Xander," said Giles, in a deadly quiet voice. "Shut the hell up. If you
can't look at this objectively like a grown-up, then I suggest you
leave." Xander sat back down stonily, glaring daggers that went largely
ignored. Giles turned his attention back to Spike. "Make your
choice. Our help for your unconditional help."
"Spike," whispered Anne, touching his sleeve, "You know you don't have to.."
"Fine," said Spike shortly. He didn't look surprised at the high price for
the group's help. Giles hesitantly raised his hand to the vampire and
Spike shook it firmly.
"Dealing with the devil," intoned Drusilla. Her tone was distant. "Miss
Edith has a dreadful cold and cannot come out for tea."
"Dru." murmured Anne. Spike was watching Drusilla carefully.
"Perhaps in the garden," said Drusilla, still in that faraway voice. She
snapped out of her trance, and smiled widely at Anne, grabbing her arm
tightly, "Let us sit among them."
Spike led the girls over to the table and sat them down. "Something odd
happened to my childe, Buffy, last night," he began, nodding to the blonde.
"Buffy?" questioned Angel, looking at her curiously.
Buffy bowed her head and said softly, "Anne is my middle name. I.... I'm
sorry I lied."
"You want to tell them, ducks?" asked Spike gently. He looked genuinely
concerned about the girl. Anne-- no, *Buffy* sniffled and shook her head.
"This is insane," muttered Xander. "Insane."
He quieted again at Angel's sharper-than-usual look but his posture stayed
defiant.
Spike went on to tell them what had happened to her the night before. Even
before he finished Giles was grabbing books of the shelves and muttering to
himself eagerly. Giles disappeared behind the stacks of books on the upper
level of the library asking, "And you're sure the girl looked like a gypsy.?"
"Damn, that man likes to research," said Angel.
"More than any man should," agreed Willow. She still looked very disturbed
with the entire situation.
Buffy sat quietly and didn't meet anyone's eyes. Xnader crossed his arms,
and busied himself giving scathing looks to Spike, Dru and especially
Buffy. He had figured out immediately that Buffy had been the cause of
Angel's "moony-girl" face and he was sickened by the thought.
"Aha!" said Giles triumphantly from behind the stacks. His muffled voice
continued, "Yes, I thought this sounded familiar.." He came back down the
steps with a book in his hand and said, "Buffy, it seems you've been
returned your soul."
"My what?" asked Buffy, blinking up at him owlishly. Spike looked utterly
confused, as did Angel and Willow. Dru and Xander didn't look like they
cared much.
"Your soul. It's, ah, a gypsy curse. It actually has never been used
before, but it's well known in the community. I believe it was invented
for punishment and is to be used in dire situations," said Giles. He
paused, "What did you..ah, what did your demon do?"
"I fed off a girl," said Buffy bluntly. She lowered her eyes in shame.
"That's it?" exclaimed Willow. "But isn't that what vampires. well,
*do*? I mean, of course it's BAD but... you did what you did because it
was nourishment for your kind."
Buffy replied bitterly, "I'm a monster. I deserved my punishment."
At this point Angel cut in to tell Buffy firmly, "You aren't a
monster. What the gypsies did was cruel and unfair." He was beside her
and so he took her hand between his own. Buffy looked at him and he smiled
at her. "You have to remember, it was the demon that did that stuff."
"Wait, a soul?" asked Spike, looking confused still.
"Oh, listen to this, you guys. It's interesting," said Willow suddenly,
looking up from the book she'd selected. "There used to be a 'perfect
happiness' clause in the curse. That means that if Buffy experienced a
moment of true happiness she would lose her soul and go back to being what
she was before."
"So she can't be happy?" asked Spike, startled.
"Slow to respond to things, aren't you, Spikey?" asked Xander
meanly. Spike glared at him in return.
"No, no," said Willow, quickly, "That version of the curse isn't actually
in existence anymore. There isn't a gypsy on the face of the planet that
remembers it. What Buffy has is the clause-free curse."
Buffy didn't seem particularly joyful at this news. She said in her same
bitter voice, "I'll never be any version of happy again. I don't think the
clause-thing would be an issue, either way."
Drusilla laughed loudly. She smiled secretively when everyone looked over
at her. "They're laughing." she said to them with glowing eyes. Neither
Spike nor Buffy bothered to question who was laughing, knowing they
wouldn't get a straight answer.
"Ah, Angel," asked Giles suddenly, "Could you please come speak with me in
my office? Alone?"
Angel hesitantly met Buffy's eyes. She nodded, and he stood up, "Sure, Giles."
"Will you be able to hear us?" Giles asked Spike.
"Maybe," said Spike, smiling wickedly. He leaned forward, resting his chin
in his hand. Giles and Angel shared a look.
"No," spoke up Buffy suddenly. "Not if you shut the door and speak in low
tones."
Angel gave her a grateful look that Xander caught. He opened his mouth to
say something, but wisely stopped. Angel and Giles shuffled into his
private office and shut the door firmly behind them.
"A deal with the devil," repeated Drusilla suddenly.
Buffy knew that even the humans could hear the locks fall into
place. After that, only she, Spike and Dru could make out the low murmur
of voices behind the door although the words were unintelligible.
Buffy realized at this point that she had even less of a chance with
Angel. Now *she* could see the monster that Angel saw so clearly when he
looked at her.
As if reading her negative thoughts, Willow smiled kindly at her and moved
into Angel's now unoccupied seat beside the ensouled vampire.
"You want to know a secret?" she whispered to Buffy, leaning close to
her. Buffy could feel Spike smirking at her back, but chose to ignore the
look as she chose to ignore Xander's disgusted glares. In truth, she was
very shocked that Willow was coming anywhere near her.
"What?" whispered Buffy back.
"I think Angel has a crush on you," Willow said, then immediately blushed.
Buffy felt the beginnings of a real smile for the first time since she'd
regained her soul. "You think so? Really?"
"Really, really," Willow confirmed.
Chapter Six
"What a Difference a Soul Makes."
*
"This could work for us," said Giles in an eager voice as soon as he'd
locked the door behind him securely.
"Hm?" asked Angel distractedly. He pulled his eyes away from where he was
staring at Buffy through the blinds.
"I mean, we have the Brethren of Aurelius for all intents and purposes
*working* for us," Giles continued, too excited to notice Angel's lack of
attention. He pulled out another linen handkerchief and rubbed at his glasses.
"We certainly do," agreed Angel absently, watching Buffy's hair catch a
light in the room and shine. She was absorbed in something Willow was
pointing out to her in a book and nodding in rapt attention.
"We can have them help us patrol," said Giles, "We could have their help
and knowledge on demons at our disposal. With Buffy's state of mind, she
would probably help us no matter what, just to be on the side of good."
Angel looked up at Buffy's name. "How do you know? Not all souls are good."
"Look at her, Angel," said Giles, in exasperation. "She's clearly a very
kind person when not, uh, a.."
"Demon?" supplied Angel.
"Ah.yes. But being around Spike and Drusilla isn't good for her. They
don't know how to handle it, and if they had to spend all their days with
her, I don't know what would happen."
Angel said, "She'll probably want to atone for what her demon has done,
Giles. Spike and Drusilla, they want to help her because she's family, but
they can't. They don't know what she's feeling. They don't *want* to know
what she's feeling. They care about her to the extent that they want to
make sure she's OK. But after she recovers from the initial shock and
diverts from the path of a normal vampire, they'll draw away."
"So what do you suggest?" asked Giles, considering Angel's evaluation.
"Well, first, we need to get her out of this environment."
"What environment? You mean Spike's living quarters?"
"Yeah." Angel paused, then said, "I know about an abandoned
building. It's near the Bronze, and there are some empty apartments
underground. They aren't furnished, but me and Will and Xand could work on
it after school and on the weekends.."
"I'll propose the idea. Force it, if Spike objects," said Giles, "But
let's let Buffy decide. She may want to stay with Spike and Drusilla for a
while yet."
Angel nodded. "Secondly, we need more people out on patrol. Spike and
Buffy can do that just fine. We'll come up with a schedule for that later."
Giles nodded in agreement, "Also, we'll get all three of them on pig's
blood. Oh, they should prepare for a long stay, too. No leaving town
unless they plan on coming back."
"But, really, what's the word of a vampire?" asked Angel. "Spike agreed to
our deal, but I wouldn't trust him. He didn't survive this long by keeping
promises with humans."
"I doubt his obligation to the welfare of Buffy would let him break his
promise. Spike's very, uh.human in a lot of ways."
"His love for Dru," said Angel in understanding.
"His worry for Buffy's well-being," added Giles. "I don't think he'll
desert us as long as Buffy needs us to help her."
Angel sat down in Giles' desk chair, "How do we help her, Giles?"
Giles shoved his handkerchief back into his pocket. "Buffy was human a
long time ago, Angel. She doesn't remember HOW to have a soul, or why she
should be on this earth. I suspect a walk in the sun sounds very good to
her right now."
Angel watched her through the blinds again sadly. He listening with a half
an ear as Giles continued to talk.
*
Buffy's head snapped up as soon as Giles and Angel emerged from the
office. She watched Angel sit down again and tried to meet his eyes, but
he didn't look back at her.
"Ah, Buffy, could I ask you something?" said Giles.
"Sure, of course. Anything," replied Buffy faintly.
"Do you have an extensive knowledge of demons, the supernatural, and the like?"
"The girl's a friggen' encyclopedia," muttered Spike.
"Hm?" asked Giles.
"When you've been a demon for a while, a *long* while, you tend to learn
things about your kind," said Spike.
"Ah, yes. Erm, very good then."
Drusilla suddenly spoke up, "The stars are twinkling in delight. Their
union shall bring about a new order of warriors."
No one, not even Buffy or Spike, paid any attention to Dru. Giles
continued, "We'd like Buffy to work here at the library at nights. We also
want both Spike and Buffy to help us patrol at night."
"What?!" asked Spike incredulously, standing up, "You want me to *kill* my
own kind?!"
"Yes," said Giles evenly, "And your new source of food will be from the
butcher or from the hospital, if you can manage that. No stealing, however."
Spike's eyes got even wider, "You *have* to be kidding."
"Unfortunately for you, I'm not." Giles looked at him firmly.
"Damn, no more of those fresh o-pos martinis for you," said Xander
sarcastically.
"Xander!" said Willow.
"What? You want me to just sit here and take it while you *help* the bad
guys?"
"You seemed to be doing that pretty well before," said Angel, not looking
up from the text he was skimming.
"Shut the hell up, Angel," yelled Xander.
Angel snorted but didn't say anything.
Xander plodded on, oblivious to the sour looks he was receiving, "You all
are crazy to help some vampire slut like Buffy, but--"
Angel had abandoned his book in favor of wrapping his hand around Xander's
neck and squeezing. Xander gasped, and tugged at his arms as the room
watched in shock. "Xander," he growled, "I don't ever want to hear you say
the words 'vampire slut' and 'buffy' in the same sentence ever again, do
you understand? I've been patient with you up until now. I can tolerate
you berating me, and I can tolerate you berating Giles, and I can tolerate
you berating Spike--"
"HEY!"
"--but the minute you say *one* even *remotely* bad thing about Buffy I get
mad. She's the victim here, and if you *dare* call her anything insulting
ever again I will kick you down into the dirt so fast that" Angel's angry
tirade was interrupted by Spike, who pulled his hands away from Xander's
throat roughly. Xander sank back down in his chair, breathing heavily.
"If we aren't allowed to kill him then neither are you," was all Spike said.
Xander picked up his book bag and stormed out. "Sick," he said as he was
leaving, "You're all sick."
Giles cleared his throat and started to talk again after a moment. Buffy
quietly got up and moved one seat over to beside Angel, but he didn't
notice because he was so absorbed with *not* going after Xander and ripping
his head off of his shoulders.
Buffy herself didn't say anything to him, but sat next to him docilely and
listened to Giles.
And neither of them noticed themselves unconsciously edge closer to the other.
Chapter Eight
"In Preparation for the Mating Dance"
*
"You should tell her, you know," said Xander idly from the foot of Angel's bed.
Buffy and Angel had been tiptoeing around each other for months and it had
escaped a grand total of *no one's* notice. Ever since that night in
Angel's room, the most the two had shared were blushes, small talk, and
shuffling feet. Mostly they both just tried to avoid each other.
Xander was listening to CDs at Angel's house that afternoon after
school. The two hadn't been as close as they used to be, and they were
trying to get back into their old routine.
Angel craned his head around to look at Xander. He was sitting on the floor
leaning against the mattress and he had had his eyes closed in
absent-minded thought. "What?"
"Tell her," repeated Xander, as if it was obvious, "that you like her."
"She doesn't. She's not interested."
"You don't know that." Xander grabbed a CD jewel case off of Angel's bed,
and looked at the cover critically, "Why does this band sound so familiar?"
"I don't know. 'Ghost of the Robot' is pretty new," Angel shrugged. "I'm
sure she isn't interested, Xander. VERY sure."
"It's just something about the lead singer." Xander's brow furrowed. "Ah,
well, I'll think of it eventually. But the question is, *how* can you be
so sure?"
"Because." Angel trailed off awkwardly.
Xander twisted around to look him in the eye, "Something happened."
"We're guys," said Angel desperately, "We don't talk about this sort of
thing! We grunt! We leave it at 'she doesn't like me' and go on to more
important things. like football!"
"Fine," said Xander, "I'll just ask Willow, because Buffy'll have told her
about whatever it is. And you know I am the anti-guy. I hate football."
Angel sighed, and leaned over to pop a new CD into the stereo. Xander took
new jewel case from his hand and lifted it up to read the cover. "Common
Rotation? Where the hell do you get these?"
The first strains of 'Oklahoma' were just starting as Angel finally said,
"And even if I did say something to her, what could we do?"
"Kiss?" suggested Xander, "Confess your love tearfully to each other in a
garden maze of roses and night blooming Jasmine as a sappy lurve song by
Celine Dion starts and the credits roll?"
Angel looked at him blankly.
Xander sighed, "I don't know. You see how well my relationship with Cordy
is going." He started to tick things off on his fingers that were wrong
with his relationship. "She won't go out on actual dates with me, she
won't talk to me in school, she ignores everything I say, she's verbally
abusive, she never supports me, she's never at the library, she makes me
pay for everything on the rare off-chance we do go somewhere. Do you see
where I'm going with this?"
"You can't help it. You're a slave to the love, kiddo," grinned Angel.
"Sometimes I wonder why I bother." Xander's head lolled back until he was
looking at the ceiling. He hesitated for a moment before starting again,
"Sometimes I look at Willow and I want."
Angel sat up, the importance the tone of Xander's voice penetrating his
brain, "What? What do you want?"
"Nothing," said Xander hurriedly. "I, uh, want the loving, normal
relationship she has with Oz. I want that. with Cordy. "
Angel stared at him closely for a couple of minutes. For a second there
Angel had thought. But, no. Xander wouldn't. It was a ridiculous thought
on Angel's part.
"Anyway," he said, "I think it's best to stay away from Buffy. I just
won't let her know I like her. It's that simple."
"You've been staying away for months, man. And. I don't think it's a
question of 'like' anymore."
Angel didn't reply, but in his head he knew too.
It had gone way past 'like' a long time ago.
*
"Where is Giles and company?" asked Angel as he strode into the library
that evening. The only person there was Buffy, who was methodically taking
books out of boxes piled beside the stairs and stacking them in different
groups on the counter.
"Are you the only one here?" he asked dread and lust entwining themselves
into a burning ball in his stomach, and he wasn't sure which one he felt more.
"Yes," she said shortly. "I'll go get Giles for you, though. It's about
time I took a break."
"No, you don't have it. I will," said Angel, half-turning towards the
double doors.
"No, that's all right," said Buffy forcefully, pushing past him.
He thought she was just going to barrel through the doors but at the last
minute she spun around to face him, her expression thunderous.
"You know," said Buffy furiously, "You can't just go around making people
feel things!"
Angel looked enraged himself, the anger of his situation welling up in
seconds. He wanted her but he couldn't have her! She didn't want
him! She didn't.
He retorted with barely-surpressed fury, "You started it! You go around
in your form-fitting clothes and you're surprised when I DO notice it?!"
"You're impossible!" shouted Buffy, "First you say 'no' then you try to
kiss me--"
"Which you didn't want, may I add!"
"Who says I didn't want you to kiss me?!"
"Well, by the way you *dashed out of the window* to get away, I naturally
assumed!"
"I was nervous and thought you'd be disgusted with yourself
afterwards! You're such a. a. A STUPID HUMAN!"
"Not as stupid as you for prancing around in sexy, revealing clothes! Then
you act all innocent and unaware when the males flock towards you! And
then when I get jealous--"
"Oh, please! You are not jealous! You're angry because--"
"Don't tell me whether I am or am not jealous! I know when I'm fucking
jealous, thank you!"
"Stop being irrational! You don't want me!"
"LIKE HELL I DON'T!"
"You said it yourself, you don't want a vampire!"
"When did I say that?! Because I want you more than anything in the entire
world! You'd know that if you FUCKING ASKED ME!"
"You told me in the Bronze, right before I got my soul!"
"That was because you didn't HAVE a soul! Now that you do, it's all
different!"
Through all of this the two had been gradually inching closer until they
were screaming in each other's faces. They breathed heavily for a few
moments (although Buffy only panted in anger and exertion for the effect).
After a moment she added, "You have no idea what you do want! You want all
the girls! Not a blood-sucking monster!"
"I want you because you're beautiful, smart and witty and a million other
things!!"
"Stop lying to me, Angel! Just stop lying!"
Angel opened his mouth to start shouting again, and Buffy opened her mouth
to yell at the same time, and before they knew it, they were suddenly
kissing passionately.
Angel had Buffy's light frame in his arms quickly, but it wasn't enough and
they both realized it. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he hoisted
her up, and they never broke their kiss, clutching at each other
desperately. Angel backed up into the library table and in one fluid
motion had swept all of the books and papers off, neither of them noticing
the objects topple to the floor. He twisted their joined bodies around and
leaned her over until her back had solid purchase on the surface.
Angel skimmed one hand down the side of her body until he reached the curve
of her hip. Buffy moaned invitingly into his mouth and her legs tightened
around his waist. Angel encountered the hem of Buffy's shirt and slipped
his fingers underneath it to massage her stomach. His other hand seemed
permanently entangled in her hair as she gasped and arched up to mold
herself to his chest. Buffy gripped at his shoulders and writhed beneath
him as she returned his kiss with ardor.
"Please." she said, her eyes screwed shut
"Yes," Angel agreed absently, and he sighed, ".I'll please you."
Angel's hand had just found the underside of Buffy's breast, encased in a
silk bra, and he smiled into her mouth when she groaned his name. Yes, he
thought distantly, yes. I want this. I want her. His lust-clogged mind
was able to process her sighs of pleasure and he untangled his hand from
her hair to hold her neck gently.
"Oh my GOD!"
The two whipped around quickly to see Giles, Xander, Oz and Willow standing
in the doorway of the library. On all of their faces was the same
identical look of shock. Xander's mouth opened and closed but failed to
produce words while Oz failed to produce an expression at all. Willow's
face was cherry red, and Giles looked faint. Which actually wasn't too
surprising considering Giles was always either in a state of looking faint
or of having fainted.
Finally, Xander discovered his vocal chords again and cried, "I will never
be able to sit at that table again! The mental images, dear God!"
Willow took a deep breath in preparation to speak, but changed her
mind. She spun around and streaked out of the library and down the hallway
with Oz following quickly behind her.
Buffy buried her face in Angel's neck and mumbled, "Oh, God." about five or
six times. Angel coughed, and discreetly pulled his hand out of Buffy'
shirt.
Xander, meanwhile, continued to warble on about how he would "never get
over the grossness" and how he would be washing his eyes out with soap the
minute he got home. Giles looked ready to bolt in the same fashion as Willow.
Giles cleared his throat, opened his mouth, and then shut it again. He
cleared his throat two more times before saying, "Ah, children, I, uh,
realize that you are attracted to one another but could you.could you, um,
refrain from displaying such attraction in my library, please?"
"Sorry, Giles," muttered Angel.
"Sorry, Giles," echoed Buffy, straightening her shirt. She trailed behind
Angel as he made an unnecessarily wide arc around Giles and Xander to get
to the door.
"Man, Angel, when I said 'tell her,' I didn't mean 'tell her with your
reproductive organs!' Especially in a public place where my poor eyes
could possibly witness it!" Xander called after them. When all that
remained of the two were swinging doors he turned to Giles and said, "You
do realize that I will be forever scarred by this event, right?"
Giles began to polish his glasses, and Xander was sure he would continue to
polish them for the next hour or two. "I suppose," he sighed, "I suppose
we should pick those up." He gestured to the books littering the floor
around the table.
"Oh no," said Xander, backing away, "I am not getting near that table ever
again!" He brightened, "Damn, I guess that means no more research more me
then, huh?"
Giles merely sighed again, and polished the already-gleaming glasses with a
little more force.
*
"I shouldn't have done that," said Angel, as he leaned against the row of
lockers and made sure to keep himself at least an arm's length distance
away from Buffy at all times.
"But--" Buffy started to protest.
"I know you must hate me, and. and it was stupid. I should have had more
control than that. I'm sorry," he said again, his head bowed. "I'm sorry
about forcing you, and I'm sorry about the time and place and I'm sorry
about yelling at you and."
Please don't say you're sorry about the kiss itself, begged Buffy in her
mind as she waited for Angel to continue. Please don't say that. The
kiss was wonderful, Angel, don't be sorry for it.I couldn't bear it. Not
when I love you so much.
"And. I'm sorry about the kiss itself," Angel finished. Preparation
glistened on his forehead. That was probably one of the biggest lies he'd
ever told. He wasn't sorry about any of it except maybe the fact that he
hadn't thought to move them upstairs behind the stacks, or at the very
least Giles' office.
Buffy nodded sadly to herself. Of course this was the way it was going to
be. For the first time ever she thought she might be falling in love with
someone, and that someone was convinced it was the worst mistake of their life.
"No," Buffy told him, because she knew this was what he wanted to hear.
"I'm sorry. It takes two to tango, and it was partly my fault for helping
to initiate it. I'm sorry too, about the kiss, because--"
SLAM!
Buffy was halted by the sound of Angel banging his fist against the lockers
he was leaning against with force. Buffy gasped and stepped backwards at
the sudden noise. Angel raised his eyes to her and she saw that they were
dark and intense, and his jaw was tightly clenched.
"Buffy," he managed hoarsely, "Don't tell me that. Please, don't tell me
that. I can't stand you being sorry about us, about what
happened! Because. because.!"
"Because what?" whispered Buffy, breaching Angel's silent 'arm's length
away' rule and taking a tentative step toward him.
Angel let out a long breath. "Because.nothing. Because of nothing at all."
He shoved past her and disappeared down the hall and around a corner.
Buffy stared after him helplessly, wondering why everything had to be so
hard between them. Against her will, she sniffled loudly, and she scrubbed
at the offending tears welling up in her eyes.
After a while, Buffy sighed and walked out of the school into the dark night.
Alone.
Chapter Nine
"Two Can Be As Bad As One (It's the Loneliest Number Since the Number One)"
*
"Now what happened?" asked Spike, sounding more than slightly exasperated
as Buffy stumbled into the mansion early that evening. He shifted his
position on the sofa to look at her better.
"Nothing," she replied, marching past him.
Spike reached out and grabbed her arm as she passed him by, effectively
stopping her. She glared at him.
"You don't have Nothing Face, lovely. You have Something face to the power
of ten."
She snatched her arm back and announced, "I don't want to talk about
it." Then she fled up the stairs.
Drusilla peered after Buffy from her position at Spike's feet. "Sissy has
a problem," she told Spike in a hushed tone. "A boy problem..."
"Good diagnosis, sweetheart. Why didn't you ever become a doctor?" asked
Spike fondly, ruffling her hair.
Drusilla giggled, "Because you killed me, silly!"
"Why, that's right" exclaimed Spike, sounding proud of himself, "I did!"
*
Buffy's eyes snapped open at the sound of an abrupt, shrill ring.
'What is that.?' She thought groggily, rolling over in her king-size
bed. It was amazing how little furnishing and a dust buster could turn the
mansion around. She'd all but forgotten about ever wanting an apartment of
her own. 'Ah, yes,' she remembered, staring at the bedside table, 'the
telephone. That sound is the telephone.'
She listened idly to Spike's footsteps as he picked up the extension
downstairs, while she watched her own antique telephone beside the bed go
unanswered.
She groaned as she heard his heavy footfalls on the stairs, knowing that
whoever called had asked for her. She made a quick mental checklist of
people she would not talk to in her mind as Spike took each step.
Angel.
Xander.
Willow.
Angel.
Angel.
Angel.
Willow.
Angel.
Spike approached her door. It was amazing how much of a full turnaround
he'd done when she'd regained her soul. As much as he seemed baffled and
skittish about her 'condition' as Drusilla called it, he was also ten times
more patient with her. He even went so far as to knock on her door instead
of yell for her when he knew she was asleep. Like at that moment.
Ah, yes. That would be the knock.
"Who is it, Spike," asked Buffy through the door.
Spike poked his head through, "The old British one. Jeevus?"
Buffy mentally scanned her checklist. Giles got the green
light. "Thanks," she said, "I'll take it up here."
Spike nodded and shut her door. As Buffy reached over for her phone she
listened to him saunter down the hall towards Drusilla's room and smiled a
little.
"Hello?" asled Buffy, slipping immediately into innocent
I'm-so-groggy-because-you-just-woke-me-up mode. She even inserted a yawn.
"Buffy," said Giles, sounding brisk with her, "You were supposed to be here
a half an hour ago. I'd expect this sort of tardiness from Angel, but not
from you!"
"Sorry, Giles," said Buffy wincing. Her wince was due in part to his
scolding tone, but it was also the product of hearing someone say Angel's
name aloud. He was still a tender subject. She liked deluding herself
that he didn't exist.
(Of course, that was in between the millions of times she deluded herself
that he was madly in love with her and at that very moment he was buying
her a bouquet of roses and planning a vacation to Italy for just the two of
them.)
"Now, I know you are a little estranged from the group, " continued Giles,
"because of you're little display on the. Ah, never mind. But don't
prevent it from coming down here. That was part of the deal."
"Yes, I know," replied Buffy. "I'm sorry about yesterday. Things got out
of hand."
"Yes," agreed Giles, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. "Anyway, we
need you down here to help scan in those demon texts. How could you forget?"
"I've been sleeping since I got home yesterday evening," said Buffy,
glancing at the clock. "About twenty-four hours."
"Then I trust you're fully rested. I'll see you here in about ten minutes."
Buffy sighed and threw back the covers.
*
Buffy was proud of herself. She hadn't started panicking over seeing Angel
after The Library Table Incident until she'd walked through the doors of
Sunnydale High.
The panic slowed her pace considerably, so much that she nearly collided
with a young teacher walking out of a classroom and carrying an armload of
books.
"Oh!" said the young lady in surprise, "I'm so sorry! Students aren't
usually in the building after dark."
"It's all right, I wasn't. uh. I." Buffy trailed off, staring at the women
in shock. "It's you," she breathed.
"Excuse m-- .oh my god," said the teacher. Her expression turned quickly
from surprise to anger. "You. It's *you.*"
The woman. It was the young woman who'd been part of the gypsies that
cursed her with a soul. Bufyf still remembered her words that night.
*"We'll make the beast pay dearly."*
Buffy took off full speed towards the library, her every thought centered
on the gypsy behind her. She burst through the library doors at top speed,
and was behind Angel before anyone could react.
"W-what?" sputtered Xander, still staring at the swinging doors Buffy had
just entered. Giles stepped out from behind the counter.
Buffy pressed herself into Angel's back, whimpering and cowering.
Angel turned around, "Buffy, what is it? What happened?" His expression
darkened, "Did someone try to hurt you?"
Buffy wasn't even aware that she was crying until she felt the warm pads of
Angel's thumbs on her damp cheeks. She squirmed into his arms, burying her
face into his neck. She felt his arms wind around her protectively as she
sniffled into his neck.
"What happened, Buffy?" asked Willow, looking down at the two from the stacks.
"Mr. Giles, it's her!" said the young teacher, striding into the library
and brandishing a stake. "You're all in grave danger!"
"I believe you have that backwards, Miss Calendar," said Angel
menacingly. "*You* are the one in grave danger."
Miss Calender appeared not to hear his threat, but took slow steps towards
the girl entwined in Angel's arms. "Don't make any sudden moves. They're
like animals. Sudden movement attracts them. They aim for the
jugular. Try to back away slowly, Angel."
Buffy whimpered again, and Angel glared at Miss Calendar. "Get away from her."
"Angel, I don't think you understand." she began.
"No, Miss Calendar, I don't think *you* understand," interjected Xander,
moving between them. "Buffy's one of us. You try to mess with her, we
*will* mess with you."
Miss Calendar stared at him in disbelief, "But she's."
"--our friend," finished Willow, coming down from the upper level and
standing next to Xander defiantly. "We won't let you hurt her."
"Mr. Giles, surely you." started Miss Calendar, turning towards him
pleadingly. Giles looked back at her with a stony expression. "You
condone this action, Mr. Giles?!"
Giles nodded, "She's on our side, Miss Calendar. She'd never harm us."
Miss Calendar laughed bitterly, "Are you so sure? I mean, she did kill my
niece only months ago."
"Buffy," asked Angel, "who is she?" He pushed her hair away from her
face and tucked it securely behind her ear.
"She's one of the gypsies that cursed me," said Buffy in a wobbly voice,
still clearly recalling the immediate fear after *It* had happened. They'd
forced her out onto the street without any knowledge of what'd happened,
what she would do, how she would continue.
Although Buffy could see their logic. Who knew what she would do when
she'd regained her memories? And they didn't owe her anything, certainly
no explanation. She'd killed their kin, what explanation did she
need? What explanation did she deserve?
But Buffy was so scared of the spells Miss Calendar knew, what else the
gypsies could do to her now that they knew where she was. The
spell-restoration curse had been so out-of-the-blue, something never used,
something no one had known or expected. The mere thought of the other
things they could potentially do to Buffy now that she was partially happy
was enough to send her into a blind panic.
Miss Calendar narrowed her eyes at the group. "Well, I'll just have to
address the clan about this... new development" Then she turned and walked
out of the room.
And Angel continued to hold and comfort a trembling Buffy until Giles sent
them all home for the night.
Chapter Ten
"They Stab it With Their Steely Knives, But They Just Can't Kill the Beast"
*
"So." said the aunt. Her name was Liliana, and she spoke English with a
noticeable accent. She looked like most other surviving Kalderash with
dark chestnut hair that always seemed to be pinned up into a sensible
bun. Her equally brown eyes glowed with the ancient magicks of the Gypsies.
"So. echoed Jenny Calendar - known as Janna within the family. She'd rushed
home from the school and explained what she knew about Buffy to her family.
They all lived together in the apartments down Oak Street - Jenny lived
with her grandmother Tshaya, her aunt Liliana, her father Shandor and her
uncle Dilaver. She was biding her time until she could buy a place of her
own - it was embarrassing living with one's family while teaching kids
ready to leave theirs.
"The question is simple," said Uncle Dilaver, "and the answer is even
simpler. We bring honor to Nadja's death." Though his hair had grayed
considerably his eyes still as sharp and observant as when he was young.
Nadja had been the girl, no more than sixteen, who was killed outside the
family's apartment by the monster.
Jenny was troubled. On one hand, she felt that they ought to finish what
they'd begun and stake the vampire. Buffy was essentially a rabid dog that
had been caged. Now all that was left to do was to put it to sleep.
On the other hand, Jenny had seen the girl the vampire had been. She had
made friends with the librarian and the children that were close to him.
Jenny had talked with Giles on more than one occasion - in fact, she'd been
harboring a crush on him, although she kept it strictly at bay - and he was
smart. He'd know danger if he saw it.
And on the other, *other* hand, the two boys and the girl that regularly
hung out in the library seemed perfectly aware that the vampire was.well, a
*vampire.* She knew Angel, as he was in her fifth period. He was very
smart, often he had mastered the lesson before Jenny had even finished
explaining it. His grades were low due to frequent absences and lack of
homework, but she could see the intelligence in his eyes.
He seemed to genuinely care about the vampire, though. Jenny remembered
the way the vampire had recognized her in the hall then ran straight into
the library directly into Angel's arms. And Angel himself, always cordial
and polite to Jenny, had been hostile with her in the library. He had been
holding Buffy close, protecting her, as had the other two.
It was a most confusing situation.
"But they protect her," said Janna, winding her hand through her hair and
tugging sharply- a nervous habit that she meant to break but never managed
to get around to doing. Unfortunately, she was stressed more often than
not. "They seem to think she is an ally now with her soul intact."
"Perhaps she is trying to atone for her sins," suggested Jenny's
father. This was met by a loud unladylike snort made by Aunt Liliana.
"For what reason would the beast atone? In her mind she has done nothing
wrong. She has wormed her way in to a group of humans, and she plays with
them like puppets on a string," said Liliana, crossing her arms.
The grandmother, the one who'd originally performed the curse, did not
speak. She merely stared into the crackling fire in the hearth. She seemed
lost in thought, as Jenny often found her. The thoughts behind the eyes
were always wise words from an old lady that had seen much and learned
from it.
"*Puri Daj,*" said Jenny, phrasing the question in her native language,
"What do you think of all this?"
Tshaya didn't reply. She didn't even seem to hear Jenny. Jenny tugged on
her hair again and sighed.
*
"You didn't have to walk me home, you know," said Buffy. She was bundled
securely at Angel's side as they headed slowly, *very* slowly she might
add, toward the mansion.
"Sure I did," replied Angel. The two sank back into comfortable silence.
For a long time the only noises they could hear were their own footsteps
and the distant insects.
"There isn't anybody out tonight," commented Angel.
"Is there ever?" asked Buffy as they turned the corner onto Crawford
Street. "That's odd," she said, staring ahead at the looming mansion, "all
the lights are off."
"Huh," agreed Angel, distracted.
She nudged him, "You don't have to listen to my observations if you don't
want to. But you could at least *pretend* to be interested." She
mock-glared at him, but the gesture was lost on Angel.
"It's not. I mean, I'm not.Buffy, I *am* interested in anything you say,"
said Angel. He finally stopped her and turned to face her fully. gripping
her shoulders. Buffy stared up at him, mouth parted slightly. Angel's
eyes were luminous in the night sky and he looking back at her with an
intensity she hadn't seen in him before.
"Angel.?" she whispered. His hands were clutching both her shoulders
tightly, burning her skin with their human heat. In the space of a second
a hundred scenarios ran through her mind. Of them together in bed, on a
beach, at a picnic. Buffy wanted to live her life with this man. She
wanted to watch him grow old. She wanted to be human oh, how she wanted
to be human! and marry him and have children and become wrinkled and gray
and aged.
"Buffy," started Angel, "I thought about it." He laughed dryly, "God, how
thought about it. I was stupid and a jerk and it's keeping me up at night.
I shouldn't have lied, because the last thing I want with you is a
friendship based on lies."
"A.friendship," repeated Buffy, sounding hurt and angry, "Is that what we
are? Are we *friends*?" She stepped out of his grip and wrapped her arms
around herself. She wished that Spike and Dru were here. She wished that
Spike, Dru and herself were anywhere but here. Why did she come to
Sunnydale in the first place? It wasn't all that special. The Hellmouth
was lame.
"Yes! .No," he groaned, sounding frustrated "I don't know *what* I'm saying--"
"Yes," interrupted Buffy, "What *are* you saying?"
"I'm saying that we aren't friends." Before Buffy could say anything Angel
plowed ahead, "We aren't friends because I can't just be *friends* with
someone I'm fucking in love with. I can't be friends with a girl who takes
up all my thoughts and fantasies. I can't be around you, Buffy, when all I
can think about is how badly I want to kiss you."
Buffy stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless. But she made no move not
toward him, not away from him.
He continued before he lost his nerve, "I was lying that day, after the
Library Incident. It wasn't nothing. It was *everything.* And I kept
pushing you away because I was afraid of what my friends would think, and I
was afraid of how much I care about you, and I was afraid of
rejection. And I'm not anymore, because I look at you and fall in love all
over again. And I can't pretend to love you any less than I do."
And still she was quiet. They were oh so very quiet standing in front of
the door to the mansion. It seemed to Angel like his breathing was a
hundred decibels over its normal level.
"So." he sighed, "that's what's been bothering me. And I'm glad it's out,
because now you know and I don't have to keep it bottled up inside." He
smiled, although sadly, and turned around, walking quickly towards the
street. To have her refuse him he would retain *some* dignity.
"Angel," called Buffy. He turned around to face her. She was standing
above him, on the porch of the mansion, silhouetted in the moonlight. And
she was holding out her arms invitingly, "Don't I get a goodnight kiss?"
Angel's face broke out in a smile the very same smile, in fact, that was
reflected on Buffy's face.
And, yes, as it turns out, she *did* get a goodnight kiss. In fact, she got
quite a few.
*
"Will you come inside?" asked Buffy twenty minutes later as they stood
embracing on the front steps of the mansion. He was nibbling on her
earlobe. His mouth was warm, and his body even warmer. His kisses were
sweet and gentle, but with an underlying desperation and passion that Buffy
could feel in her own bones.
"I don't know," said Angel, "I should probably get home. I have a test
tomorrow and there is a distinct lack-of-studying aura about me, if you
haven't noticed already." He rested his cheek on her shoulder and his
breath puffed against her neck.
Buffy smiled affectionately, "Well, I don't want to you miss out on a
thrilling evening of cramming." But she made no move to let him go. Her
arms were wound around his neck, and her hands played absently with the
hair at the nape of his neck.
"All right then," he said, kissing the corner of her mouth, "Good night."
"See you tomorrow," said Buffy as he peppered kisses along her jaw
line. He drew back, his resolve firm, and touched her hand gently, then
walked along the stone path to the street below.
He got halfway down the steps before he appeared at her side again,
"Well.maybe I can come inside for just a few minutes."
She smiled again, and agreed. "Just a few."
They walked inside hand-in-hand, Buffy swinging their arms slightly. The
blonde vampire looked up at him, an absent smile in place, and wondered,
not for the first time that night, if all of it was actually real.
"Why is it so dark?" Angel asked suddenly.
Buffy let go of his hand to feel along the wall for a light switch, "Spike
and Dru are always awake now. It's only nine o'clock." Buffy refused to
acknowledge the coldness welling up in the pit of her stomach.
"Maybe they had to patrol with Xander and Willow," suggested Angel.
"No, Willow and Oz are patrolling together. Spike told me he was going to
stay here and read to Dru before I left for the library." Buffy found the
switch and flipped it on, illuminating the room.
The *bare* room.
The only thing left were a few pieces of furniture and some logs piled
beside the fireplace. There weren't any traces of either Spike or
Drusilla. All of Spike's cigarette packs were missing from the coffee
table and there wasn't a single one of Drusilla's dolls littering the
floor. Not even a hair ribbon.
"Buffy.?" questioned Angel, turning to her.
"They're gone," said Buffy, her voice dull with shock. She felt him move
beside her quickly and take her hand firmly in his own but she found no
comfort from the action. She was hollow. She couldn't even feel her eyes
fill up with tears.
".Spike and Drusilla are gone."
*
Chapter Eleven
"Aoi Arashi ga Kuru*"
*
Buffy was staring at the large oak tree outside of Angel's room. They
were lying together on his bed -- Angel was leaning against the headboard
and holding Buffy, who was nestled between his legs. Angel hadn't bothered
to turn his lights on; in fact, he hadn't even thought of it. They both
felt more comfortable in the dark, anyway.
She had been staring listlessly like that for a while now. Angel was
starting to worry again. Buffy had been acting unnatural all
night. Something was either very wrong or was about to be very wrong. She
hadn't mentioned Spike and Dru since they left the mansion, and Angel
didn't want to broach the sensitive subject. But if she didn't break out
of her blank shell shell, he was going to have to address it.
"Angel?" she whispered.
"Hm?"
"Where's your mom?" She tried to turn her head to look at him but found
she couldn't, and settled for snuggling closer instead.
"She's at a workshop in LA," he replied, then said as an afterthought,
"She's an elementary school teacher."
"What's she like?" asked Buffy, watching the oak tree's leaves sway in the
wind.
"Nice," said Angel, "Sad."
"You should try to include her in your life a little more," said Buffy
absently, "She doesn't know anything about you anymore."
"I will," promised Angel. "But there are so many things I can't tell her."
"But there are so many things that you *can* tell her, Angel," said
Buffy. "Like, tell her about how Xander has a thing for video games from
the eighties. Tell her about how Willow *has* to head off for class the
exact minute the bell rings. Tell her about the way Giles is always
polishing his glasses. Tell her how you've recently become addicted to
obscure music. Angel, there are *so* many things."
Angel chuckled, "You sure pick up on a lot."
She smiled sadly, "Not enough."
Angel touched her hair and threaded his fingers through the shining blonde
strands. He twisted a lock around his fingers, "You couldn't have known."
She was looking at the oak tree again, and Angel didn't have to see her
expression because he could hear the pain evident in her voice, "There were
signs. I knew it was going to happen."
"How could you have?"
"I would catch Spike looking at me, and in his eyes there was this. this
*pity.* He would complain about the patrolling to Dru when he thought I
couldn't hear. I think. I think they thought I was human now, and that I'd
lost my hearing abilities. It was the way he and Dru would glance at each
other when I said or did something particularly human."
"Buffy." said Angel, at a loss.
"I didn't want to acknowledge it though. I thought that if I ignored it
for long enough that they would stay. But Spike has never stayed in one
place for very long. Sunnydale is no exception."
"But the way he left."
"-- was the only way he knew how. He thought it would hurt me less," Buffy
told him honestly. And she thought that it was true, in part. Certainly,
had he told her they were leaving she would have begged him to stay. And
she knew that *he* knew that if she were to beg him, he would stay.
"Fucking amazing of him," said Angel, not looking particularly
amazed. "Stop defending him, Buffy."
She smiled sadly again, then turned around in his arms to face him. She
kissed him gently and said in a soft voice, "I'm glad I have you."
Angel kissed her back and replied with equal gentleness, "I'm glad I have
you too. You know I'll be here whenever you need me, right?"
She leaned back, and almost immediately her face was consumed with
shadows. There wasn't any moon and she was being swallowed by the
darkness. Angel thought he saw a hint of the sun in her though. Despite
all attempts to make it otherwise, she still had the sun inside of
her. Even being a vampire couldn't make that go away. And Angel loved her
so much for it.
"Angel," she whispered, loud in the silence. "Angel, make love to
me. .Please?"
Angel stared back at her, and on the wall behind him the shadows in the
shape of his arm reached up to touch Buffy's face. "Are you sure?"
"I've never been so sure about anything in my life." Buffy bent down
slowly and kissed him with tenderness both new and familiar at the same
time. It was as if they'd done this a hundred times before.
"Buffy." sighed Angel into her mouth, "I love you."
"Me too," said Buffy breathlessly as he kissed her jaw.
"I try not to," he continued, "but I can't stop."
"Me too," said Buffy again, "I can't either."
The shadows on the wall grew and grew, until they consumed the entire
room. Sunnydale's streets were quiet, unnaturally so, and lit with only
the aid of street lamps. The crickets called to their mates as a redheaded
witch with a stake clutched firmly in her hand roamed the cemeteries with
her werewolf boyfriend in search of vampires.
And then, within the midst of all this, from an open window on Revello
Drive, a keening cry began, soon joined by another. And, gently, the sound
ended its rise and began it's downward descent once more. And silence
reigned again.
Then, later, a spirit, a soul, fled through the night and flew up, up, up
into the sky.
*
Angel came awake slowly. He didn't open his eyes, but instead enjoyed the
warm sun of the late morning on his face. It was then that memories of the
night before flooded into his mind and he smiled widely.
He couldn't even begin to convey to Buffy how much the night had meant to
him, how much he would cherish it. But he would try.
He opened his eyes then, expecting to see Buffy sleeping beside him
silently. But he blinked in surprise when he saw only the pillow and
rumpled covers. Had she left? Why? Where would she go? Had she left to
avoid the sun? A million questions piled up in his head, and he saw no
evidence of answers.
His eyes flicked from surface to surface in search of a note, but there was
no indication that she'd ever been there.
Angel sighed and got up to look out the open window. A typical active
Saturday morning greeted him -- lawn mowers cutting the grass of neighbors'
yards, children laughing, and cars driving by.
He stretched a little and then exited his room and thumped down the stairs
to make himself breakfast.
And he wondered again where Buffy could have gone.
*
Chapter Twelve
"An Opened Music Box Plays Its Song"
*
Angel didn't tell Xander or Willow, or anyone else that he and Buffy had
been intimate. All through the weekend he kept mostly to himself,
declining offers to go out to movies or hang out at Willow's house or go to
the mall. He only left the house for patrol, and even then he left
early. Angel spent the entire weekend alone in his room.
Buffy had visited him Saturday after the sun had set.
Angel was standing at the kitchen counter tearing off the packaging of a
frozen pizza and concentrating hard on not concentrating on The Night. He
was startled out of his non-concentrating concentration by the screen door
in the kitchen opening. When he turned around Buffy was standing there.
"Hey," he said, surprised. He dropped the pizza and rushed to her side,
opening his arms. Buffy hesitated, then hugged him.
"Hi, Angel," she said. He blinked in confusion at the strange tone to her
voice. It was familiar but he couldn't place it.
"What's wrong," he asked, stepping back.
"Nothing," she replied. ".I'm uh. I mean, sorry I took off like I did."
// A moan. And then a breathy whisper. Sounds like 'I love you.' Skin
rubbing against skin she says, light and teasing, "You have experience."
Heavy breathing, intertwined with low chuckles, "I could say the same about
you."
She smiles, shuts her eyes as a large hand caresses her hip, moves
downward, "Not exactly a blushing virgin. Are you disappointed?" \\
"It's fine," he said, "I figured that you went back to the mansion before
the sun rose. You could've just pulled the curtains, you know. Or left a
note. I was worried."
"Sorry."
Angel was looking at her oddly again. Something was off, something she was
hiding. "Buffy. what did you do? Where did you go?"
// "Disappointed? Not really," his lips become occupied with soft skin,
and then, "I want you. I don't care whether you're a virgin or if you have
a hundred years experience on me."
Long moments without talking. A groan, soft kisses, hands against skin.
And then he adds, ruefully, "And now I'm feeling intimidated, given that
you *do* have a hundred years experience on me. I wa" Interrupted by his
own moan, he forgets his train of thought.
"It doesn't matter." Her eyes are staring down at him, bright green; they
slide shut as he enters her. A sigh.
"Buffy"
"Angel" \\
Buffy shook her head, "It's not important."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it's"
"Buffy! Tell me," he insisted.
// They set a rhythm. They slow, they're determined to make it last. Bust
it gradually gets faster with their desperation to give one another completion.
He's watching her through hooded eyes, etching her as she is now into his
memory.
She's breaking up, her breath hitches, and again. She clenches around him
rhythmically and he groans as he thrusts.
"I love you," he says again, and he has to say it or he'll die. He needs
her to know, needs her to feel how much his heart aches for her.
"I I love you. Angel." Then she's over the edge, crying out, sending him
tumbling down with her. She hears him speak her name as she yells his. \\
She looked away, "I, uh, went to take care of something." At his confused
expression she continued, "I went to look for more, ah, suitable
companionship, if you will."
"Suitable companionship?" asked Angel.
"You must know," Buffy snapped. Then realization slowly dawned on her,
"Oh. You don't."
"Buffy, what are you telling me?"
Buffy backed up into the counter and leaned against it. "You didn't
exactly perform up to par, you see. I needed to find some. um, balm for my
burn."
"Stop speaking in riddles, Buffy," said Angel in a frustrated
voice. "Look, can you spell it out for me?"
"Angel," said Buffy, ".Last night was.uh, not as great as you think. I
mean, you had an amazing happy .I didn't."
Angel paled, "What? Are you saying that you didn't. that you weren't." He
stopped, then said again in a halting voice, "You seemed like. you were,
um, happy."
Buffy looked at him incredulously, "Have you ever heard the term 'faking
it,' Angel?"
"Oh, god," said Angel, rubbing his forehead, "Buffy, I'm sorry, I honestly
thought that you did. I mean, you looked so content afterward."
Buffy's eyes narrowed, "Yeah, I sure was. You really managed to satisfy
me." She turned and left the house swiftly.
Angel sank into a chair and stared at the kitchen interior without seeing it.
The frozen pizza stayed uncooked for the rest of the night.
*
"You!" said Jenny Calendar in surprise, dropping the book she was
holding. "Buffy!"
Buffy looked equally as surprised, for a moment. "Miss Calendar, am I right?"
"Jenny to my friends." Jenny picked up her book again.
"OK. So, Jenny"
"But you aren't my friend."
Buffy looked mad. "Fine," she said briskly, "Miss Calendar. Do you think
you could tell me where Giles is?"
Jenny shook her head, her expression impassive, "He's not here. He had to
go back to his apartment to pick a text up."
"Hmmm. Well, then, I was looking for him. But. I guess you'll do." Buffy
smiled and walked forward.
"A question about something?"
"Ah, you could say that." Buffy's smile turned mean, "You see, I've had
this pesky soul restored and it's been reaping a bloody *lack* of havoc on
this town. But that all changed about a day ago."
Jenny paled, "Oh god. She put that pure-happiness clause in." She backed
up a few steps.
"Ah, yes," agreed Buffy, "But I seem to recall Willow reading in a textbook
that the clause was forgotten. Now see, I'm wondering why that book said
that no gypsy remembered that curse when, well, they obviously did."
"What's a book to know what people remember? How could they know that
every gypsy has forgotten it?" asked Jenny. "The book was wrong."
Buffy nodded, "Very helpful, Miss Calendar. Now, there's one last thing
you can do for me?"
Jenny watched her warily, aware that Buffy stood between her and the door,
"What would that be?"
Buffy walked forward, reached Jenny, and pulled her closer. Her grip was
tight. "You could, ah, help me set up a little surprise for Giles."
*
Giles walked into the library fifteen minutes later with Xander and Willow
in tow.
"So what do you think is up with him, anyway?" Xander was saying.
"He's been avoiding us, Giles," said Willow, looking worried.
Giles shook his head, "I don't know. Probably something with Buffy."
"Maybe they had a fight," said Willow.
Giles listened as Xander started describing to Willow how well he could
sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Giles smiled faintly, opening the door to
his office as Xander inserted some electric guitar in his song. Willow was
laughing.
Giles stopped then. Miss Calendar was sitting at his desk with her head
nestled in her arms. She must have fallen asleep, Giles thought, a smile
rising to his lips.
".IT'S FLEECE AS WHITE AS SNOW!" yelled/sang Xander.
He had wanted to ask Jenny on a date for the longest time now, but was too
shy to do so. And then with the issue of Jenny's family cursing Buffy,
he'd backed off.
He looked at her fondly, imagining her yawning as she looked through books,
then finally retreating to his office to look for something and falling asleep.
".AND EVERYWHERE THAT MARY WENT." continued Xander.
He reached out to shake her gently and was surprised when she slumped over
limply. He shook her a little harder, then jumped back in shock as she
fell out of his chair and onto the ground. Her glassy eyes stared up at
him and her neck was twisted at a weird angle.
"THE LAMB WAS SURE TO GOOOOOO!"
Giles' mouth opened slightly. He tried to manage a few words, but nothing
came out. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the words formed and
his lips moved.
".O-oh."
Chapter Thirteen
"A Dozen Ways, a Dozen Times"
*
"There's an art to this," Buffy told Angel, twirling a knife in one
hand. It was pitch black, and the only reason he knew she had a knife was
because she had told him. (Rather happily, in fact. "Wanna know about my
knife, Angel, darling?") He didn't dwell on why she didn't have a gun, as
he supposed she wasn't renowned for her utter delight in torture for nothing.
Her voice was coming from..above. No.on the first landing of the stairs,
about twenty feet away, he discerned.
Angel felt around for a light switch. "I'll bet," he replied distractedly.
"Oh, keep it off," invited Buffy, referring to the light. Ignoring her
request he continued to pat the wall. Don't underestimate her speed, Angel
thought. She could be right in front of you in two seconds flat.
'But this is her game, isn't it?' another part of Angel mind
whispered. 'To keep you guessing. It gives her the power. You have to
keep her talking to know where she is. You can do this."
"So," he tried, "What have you been up to, anyway?" An obvious question
with an equally obvious answer, and he hoped that she underestimated
[dictionary.com thesaurus] his intelligence. Where was that goddamned
light switch?! He could have sworn.
"Same old, same old," Buffy said, "You know, came to some boring, stupid
little town, got a soul back, fucked my boyfriend-at-the-time, and
now voila! I'm Buffy three-point-oh. New and improved!" Her expression
turned vicious, ".to kick your ass."
Ah ha! Here it is! Angel flicked on the switch and the main room of the
mansion was flooded in light. And Angel saw.
*
"She. she did what?" he asked Giles numbly. Feeling would come later,
preferably when he was alone and could freak in peace. Now was for
business only.
Willow was curled up on the stairs of leading up to Giles' bedroom, her
head on her knees. "I. I wasn't sure at first," she said to Angel
quietly. "But the signs were all there."
Angel continued to look at Giles' ashen face. He didn't reply.
"Then I called you," Willow went on, in that same subdued tone. "And you
said that something had happened to Buffy after.after. That she was being
weird. She was being mean. And I put two and two together."
Angel chuckled dryly. It was a bitter laugh. "Yeah, how could a book know
that someone remembered that stupid clause?"
*
"A new look for you," said Angel, surveying her tight leather pants and
teeny-tiny bikini top. He noted the five-inch heels, giving her height,
but overall probably just slowing her down. Angel didn't let his mind
stray to how much he enjoyed dangerous look and instead had a gleeful
thought about how he was glad women wore hindering, yet fashionable shoes.
"Nah," Buffy told him, taking a couple steps toward him, swaying her hips
and swinging her arms, "It's an old look, really. But when my more
conservative half came into the game, she decided that fashion could simmer
on the back burner. It's actually a shame."
Angel tightened his grip on his stake as Buffy took another seductive step
in his direction.
"I mean, *really,*" Buffy said, lowering her voice confidentially, "She
wore jeans. And blouses. All the fucking time. I don't think she wore a
skirt that came above her knees during her recent stay." Buffy rolled her
eyes in pity at this revolting fact. "And with a body like this, you show
it off."
"She didn't need to," said Angel stiffly. "She knew I thought she was
beautiful."
"See, that's the thing." Buffy fluttered her eyes, and her voice took on a
saccharine-sweet quality, "From my perspective, neither of you had any idea
of what the other was thinking. You just stumbled around in your little
soap-opera world until you decided to tell her. And even then she didn't
believe you. And it. Was. So. OBVIOUS. You were both morons."
Angel resisted the urge to squeeze his eyes shut. That window of
opportunity would have gotten him a knife firmly imbedded in his gut. But
he couldn't let her get to him. Not now.
"Okay, I'm bored now." Angel said, hoping his nonchalance sounded real and
tapping his stake against his thigh, "Can we fight already?"
"Good idea," agreed Buffy. "I *really* wanna carve you up." Then she was
charging towards him, her knife raised.
It took a split second for the knife to graze his arm before he managed to
duck away and drop into a kick that knocked her to the ground. "Oompf,"
she gasped, already trying to rebound.
He scrambled to pin her down. "You killed Jenny," he said between clenched
teeth, ripping her knife away and tossing it away. If he was going to beat
her, he was going to beat her fairly.
"I certainly did," said Buffy cheerfully. He could see the gears turning
behind her eyes and the words forming in her head: how could she get out
from under him?
Buffy kept her eyes glued to Angel's as her leg came up to kick him from
behind. Angel winced and rolled away as Buffy bounced up. "And it sure
was fun the way her neck made that funny cracking noise."
Angel's eyes locked with hers as he circled her warily.
"Kinda like the sound popcorn makes when you microwave it. Or, oh! I've
got it a hockey game!"
Angel tried to remember he needed to have the advantage. Buffy's shoulders
tensed as she prepared to pounce upon her prey. So Angel pounced
too. They rushed at each other again, weapons raised.
And Angel tried not to notice that he was dying inside.
*
Xander came in from the kitchen cradling a cup of hot tea. He handed it to
Giles carefully. "Here. drink this," he told the librarian. "I don't know
how bad it'll taste, but it's tea, hey? You Englishmen love that
stuff." He was clearly trying to ease the tension, but it wasn't working
too well.
Giles nodded as he accepted the tea, "Thank you, Xander."
"You're welcome," replied Xander awkwardly, patting him on the shoulder.
"So what do we do now?" asked Willow from the stairs.
"You do nothing," said Angel, his resolve firm. He knew what he had to
do. "It's my fault, so I'll deal with it."
"Man, don't say that," said Xander, "It's not your fault."
"Actually," Willow interjected gently, "...It kinda is." She looked at
Angel guiltily, but he didn't seem angry with her. In fact, his mind
seemed to be in another world.
Angel took a stake out of the back of his jeans and held it up. "I'll be
back soon. Don't wait up for me." He disappeared out the door of Giles'
apartment.
"Good luck," Giles said vacantly to the space Angel had just occupied.
Willow could see the dark cloud of tension descend upon the room.
*
Angel felt like he'd been fighting for hours. It had been forever since
the battle had begun and, unfortunately, it was pretty evenly matched.
He ducked as her high heel flew dangerously close to his head, then grabbed
the raised leg and pushed it to the ground, bringing her along with it.
Buffy made an angry noise, righting herself as she fell. She rolled away
as soon as she hit the ground and faced him again.
Her fist came flying and everything became suddenly very clear to
Angel. There was his opportunity. There was no time to think. He caught
her fist and for a mere second she was helpless. Now was the time. He had
to do it *now*.
He took his opportunity.
"Buffy!" gasped Angel as he felt his stake fly forward in the air,
propelled by himself, by his own hand. He wished it wasn't so, but this
one time his aim was true. Perfect. He felt his heart shatter as his
stake broke through her skin with little effort and as it slid through
until it reached her heart.
And then it was embedded deeply inside her, while his hand, the one that
clutched the stake, trembled violently. She looked down at the weapon in
her chest and then back at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. The green
eyes that were so bright as she confessed her love for him. The green eyes
that pleaded with him to help her when she was returned her soul. The
green eyes that drifted shut as she lay naked in his arms.
"I should've known this town was trouble," she croaked.
"I love you," Angel whispered. "I love you. I love you. I love
you.." It was a litany, a chant, as they stared at one another for long,
long seconds. But Buffy didn't seem surprised anymore. It was as if she'd
expected this to happen and had accepted it.
"I love you," he choked for a final time.
Then she was exploding around his hand, around his body, surrounding
him. He overheard his own voice screaming her name, but did not recognize
it as such. Her skeleton was suspended in the airborne dust before it
disappeared, disintegrating into the forming cloud. The dust swayed and
danced in the air until it floated to the floor slowly. Angel stared at
it, his eyes blurred with tears. His stake clattered to the ground,
unneeded, and he sank to his knees on the ground. A few inches away her
remains lay scattered.
By him.
It took another three minutes for the bulk of it to sink into Angel's
mind. And then, loudly and without preamble, he began to sob.
Alone in that large, looming mansion, Angel hunched over on the ground, his
shoulders shaking, his tears flowing.
*
Then, later, he gathered up her dust in a vase with careful, still
hands. He walked for miles and miles, passing his own house, passing
Xander and Giles', passing the high school. He walked on and on, to the
city limits and then down a small gravel path to the side of the road,
continuing until he reached a lake deep within a grove of trees.
In the moonlight, the water sparkled and rippled gently. Angel held the
vase firmly, staring at the moon.
Then, with whispered words of sorrow, Angel sprinkled the dust onto the
water.
Afterwards, he cried again.
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