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Title: Flawed
Author: Ashlee
E-mail: RubysAndPearls@aol.comDistribution: Take it! Just tell me where it is going.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will, unless the world suddenly turns into
an Ashlee Fantasy.
Summary: Angsty? Damn't, I hate these. Angel's POV on the darker side of the
darker side of things. Slightly AU, but not really, well, maybe. I dunno! Did
I mention I hated these?
Pairings: All the season three pairings.
Rating: PG-13 or R for language.
Feedback: Is Angel a gorgeous babe?!? But does his show now royally suck!?
HELL YEAH!!!
******
I woke up with the unearthly feelings of bugs crawling under my skin. My
head pounded and my eyes strained to see even though they were closed. My
limbs were sore and my throat hurt. A thousand pinpricks danced acrossed my
skin. My hands groped for that warm body that I knew will never be there.
A typical morning.
I must be the only vampire that still gets up in the morning. Not the dusk
kind of morning but the actual rising of the sun morning. Probably just
another one of my weak attempts to cling to the humanity that I am not sure
is in me.
Even though, I didn't really see a point, I opened my eyes and blinked
tiredly around the cool mansion bedroom. I pushed away the silk sheets and
padded into the main hallway, throwing in some firewood to heat up the chilly
morning air. Like any other morning, I shower, feed, grab a book and read.
That is my typical afternoon, but at night it is a different story.
I watch the hours tick away on the clock, waiting for the sun to set. My skin
is itchy with anticipation and my demon roars for the moon. It was hell.
There was still another three hours until the sun would go down and my
freedom would be gained.
"Hey."
I was so busy caught up in my impatience that I didn't notice a certain
blonde had walk into my home. Mansion, not home. Home consisted of where said
blonde was. But I don't believe that her mother would adore the idea of a
nocturnal animal living with her and her daughter so I guess this stone and
brick building can be called a home. For now.
"Didn't hear you." I say, marking my page in my favorite book of poetry and
gingerly placed it on the table top. I don't stand up and show this woman
proper respect, as I was taught to when I was young but that manner died out
with the decade, because I know she would refuse my offer anyway.
Buffy used to be the center of my entire being, still is, but not in the way
she was before. Before Angelus. Before her innocence was shattered by the
only man-...vampire, she shared it with. There was now only awkward silences
and brief conversations. No displays of affection or words of I love you.
Nothing. Everything that we felt for each other was tainted and hidden in the
deepest locked part of our souls.
"I learned from the best." She smirked, but it was painted on. I bet she had
to practice that at home before she came to visits. I don't really understand
why she does anymore. She is pained when she comes to talk to me and I
believe that she only does it now out of pity. Buffy is a compassionate
person and doesn't want to feel like she is abandoning me.
But she is.
I want to weep at the sudden realization which caused me to choke on my
sentence.
"How was school?" It was more like a croak and she gave me a worried look.
"Are you all right?" She asked, stepping a tiny bit closer but not nearly
close enough to give me the reassurance that I desperately need. I nod, not
being able to speak for I am afraid of completely embarrassing myself. It is
strange, someone would think that being a vampire for 250 plus years would
disable them from being humiliated but right now I wanted nothing more to
curl up and die at her feet. It would be an honorable death in my opinion.
"Everyone is probably going to the Bronze later." Buffy nervously played with
her backpack strap on her shoulder, shifting her weight from one foot to the
other. I almost half smile but all that registers was a small twitch in my
lips. I could almost hear the silent *hint, hint* in her voice.
Usually, I would jump at the opportunity to be able to hold Buffy but then I
think of her friends that would most likely be there. It is silly but I
haven't actually had a confrontation with her friends ever since I came back
from Hell. Hell ... lets not go there. Too much pain and I will go insane if
I think about that horrible place. Not even my demon was comfortable there.
Seeing her friends, would be like Hell in a way. Knowing that you killed one
of their teachers and trusted alley, their fish, and fellow school mate was
only some reasons of avoiding them. Especially Giles, I don't think I will
ever be able to look him in the eye again. I know it must take all of his
self control to not come over here and torture me for months and then finally
put me out of my misery. If someone killed Buffy like the way I killed Jenny,
then I would gladly ripped their limbs part.
Slowly.
*Very* slowly.
"Actually, I think I might just patrol tonight." I answer slowly, looking
down at my fiddling hands so I don't have to see the look of dejection on her
face.
"Well, maybe I could patrol with you then." Her voice was prodding,
practically begging and I find myself angry. Doesn't she have better things
to do then hang out with a bastard man, damnit, vampire like me? Why doesn't
she go and fuck Xander who so obviously wants her?
That's the demon talking, I tell myself. I don't really believe me.
"No," I see pain flash across her face. "I'll be fine, you should go and have
fun with your friends."
She accepts my obvious rejection with a slow nod and another spell of silence
falls over us. I stare into the fire, the walls, anything but her. I know
that I will probably end up at the Bronze later to apologize for being a
jackass but right now, I need to hold on to some dignity while I have it.
"Well, I got major homework, so I'll just stop by tomorrow." My mate finishes
quickly. I could tell that she is lying, her backpack looks weightless. I am
tempted to stand up and kiss her goodbye but she is already half way out the
door.
I sigh and looked down at the pathetic sight that is myself with disgust.
What the fuck did I do to have the only thing that I want but know that it is
so out of reach?
How about kill thousands of innocent people? I answer my own self with
sarcasm. Jesus, now I'm talking to myself? This is fucking perfect. I feel my
lips turn into a snarl and feel the disgusting feeling of self pity rising in
my stomach. I jump quickly to my feet, grabbing my duster, making sure there
is stakes in every pocket before I leave.
I still have an hour until sunset but I need to feel something wither and die
in my hands.
*****
After traveling the well known sewer system for an hour, ticking off the
seconds until I could unleash myself among the world, the sun finally seemed
to fall behind the clouds. The moon shown brightly and I felt the primal need
to howl uncontrollable.
I prowled through the cemeteries, praying for something to crawl out of the
ground and give a hell of a good fight. My senses go crazy when I smell two
heartbeats near by, I could hear the blood pounding in my ears, beckoning to
me and I want nothing more to give in. A growl escaped from my lips and I
could feel the slick powerful blood sliding down my throat, filling me and
becoming part of me. My hand starts to shake as the blood lust takes over my
vision. Red spots blind me and I lean against a tree for support, I sway and
realize how weak I am getting.
I know I haven't been feeding regularly but I haven't been around many
people, only Buffy, and the lust was too much for me to handle. I could feel
my demon visage coming forth and I lean my forehead against the tree I am
leaning on. My nails dig into the wood and I hear it cracking. My growl is
loud to my ears and it doesn't seem to stop. I can't make it stop.
I feel like I'm being possessed as I fight the unbelievable need for blood. I
got feel my nails digging into flesh, breaking skin, cracking bones. No! I
need to stop.
Blood.
Red.
Kill.
Now!
"B! Over here, I think I found one that is too friendly with a tree." A sharp
voice cracked and I swung around, growling meeting a hot brunette in a shirt
that she was falling out of. My eyes are quickly directed to her pulse. I
feel the power radiating off of her and I automatically know that she is a
slayer. Slayer? But, I just saw Buffy an hour ago.
Dread fills me but it is quickly pushed back as a sharp kick knocks me off my
feet. I hit the ground rolling and snarl back. My anger and hunger taking
over me as I grab the inexperienced slayer by the shoulders and throw her
hard into gravestone. Her back hits it and it crumbles under her weight.
"Bitch!" She snapped at me, recovering quickly and rolling to her feet before
I can pin her down.
Blood.
Slayer blood.
Buffy...?
Her presence fills me and distracts me for a precious second and I turn my
attention to where I feel her quickly approaching.
Big mistake.
I am knocked down hard by a punch that would have taken a human's head off. I
fall on my back and quickly pinned the brunette.
"Faith! No!" I hear Buffy's voice but my vision is swarming and I'm nearly
dying from having the scent of blood so close.
Faith raises the stake and everything goes black.
*****
I wake up with a groan and for a brief second think that it is just another
morning. My head is cushioned on something soft and I reached out with my
senses to find that Buffy is in the room. I don't really care about the two
other heartbeats, as long as she is there, I will be fine. I think.
"Buffy," I mutter, just to make sure. I think I heard her before I blacked
out. The hunger was still there and I know I need to feed quickly before I do
something that I might regret.
"I'm here, baby." Her soft voices almost lulls me to blissful unconsciousness
again and I could feel her hand on my cheek.
I finally open my eyes to greet the angry ones of Rupert Giles.
"Oh shit."
Part 2
"Oh shit."
"Hey, a hot vamp with a mouth. My kind of guy." A suggestive voice to the
right of me and I turn to see the brunette that attacked me. Or I attacked
her. One of those, things are fuzzy right now. I look up to see Buffy, my
head resting on her lap, staring down at me with eyes of concern and fear.
Fear for me. Which reminds me of who is also in the room with us.
I glance back at Giles who looks a bit angrier than before, if possible. I
roll off the surface I am on with a gasp, desperately trying to get away from
the accusing eyes. I fall to the ground with a thud and groan in pain from my
head and now my stomach. I must have been laying on the library table.
Damnit. Make a greater fool out of yourself, Angelus. I hate when I curse
myself.
I push myself off the floor, stumbling away from Giles and the two slayers.
My mind is still reeling from that. Two slayers? Again? Kendra! The
realization is quick and painful. My kin was ordered to kill Kendra from me
and now a new slayer came. My demon is growling to get away from this place.
From two slayers and a pissed off watcher. I obey.
I trip over my feet as I try to walk backwards away from them. I could feel
Giles's angry eyes burning into me and I need to get away. I could sense
Buffy's pity and it makes me want to spit. Faith, I believe her name was,
looks at me like a piece of meat. If she wants to stake me or fuck me, I'm
not sure.
"Angel, stop it!" Buffy yelled and I realized with a start that she was right
in front of me, holding me still. No wonder I couldn't move back. I feel like
a startled animal as I try to evade her grip. I didn't want to come to terms
with Giles. Not now, not ever. I snarl at the blonde slayer holding me, her
hands burned me as if they were dowsed in holy water. The other slayer
tenses, ready to jump into battle.
"Angel, please, calm down. It's okay." My slayer whispers, she is close to
tears.
Calm down? How the fuck am I going to calm down when I can't control my own
actions? The demon seems to be control more and more. It scares me. I stop
struggling for her sake. I know she is worried, I am too. Her hands still
hold my arms even after I stay still. They still burn me.
"Angelus!" A voice snaps me out of my pain and I stare hard at the Watcher
that screamed my name. Former name. Oh, what the fuck, I don't know anymore.
Buffy also turns with the sound of my name. I use her distraction to shrug
her hands off but I don't make a move to run. Idiot.
Buffy looks hurt and slowly steps back from me, her form tense in case I want
to flee again. Damn her, I will never get out of this hell because of her
watching over me. Of course, I bask in her attention but it still makes my
demon angry.
I feel very foolish when a silence falls over us, it is a great way to gain
the approval back from a Watcher by almost attacking his slayer.
"Are you quite done?" An angry Giles snaps, his eagle sharp gaze turning to
me. I feel as if I should turn to dust from that look and it takes me all I
cannot to glare back. I say nothing, afraid of what might come out. I grit
my teeth, wanting to scream at Buffy's Watcher. No one talks to me that way,
no one looks at me that way without getting away with it. I grip that counter
for support.
Buffy looks at me with concern, I bet her slayer sense are going haywire.
Faith's too. Any slayer can sense a pissed off master vampire. I killed
Giles's lover and I thought I would be at his feet begging for forgiveness
but I'm not. I guess I am just full of surprises.
"Loving the tension." Faith quipped, staying away from me but I can
practically feel her eyes all over me. I shiver despite myself. She was hot
but now who I want.
"Would someone like to explain to me what happened?" Giles asked calmly to
Buffy. I stay silent, not really sure myself. I turn to Buffy also, anyone
but Giles, and my gaze stays fixed on her throbbing pulse in her neck. I
practically groan at the sight.
Nothing that I want more would be to sink my fangs in her soft glorious flesh
and feeling her powerful flood slide down my throat. I could hear her moans
bordering on pain and pleasure. Marking her as my own would be heaven and the
utmost sign of possession. Maybe the next time she comes over...no. Stop.
"I would have staked his ass if it wasn't for B. I heard of Angel but never
thought he would look that hot-" Faith stopped at Buffy's glare.
"I mean, vampy." She covered. Yeah, that's better.
"I didn't know that there would another slayer this soon." I amended, not
really saying sorry for attacking her but it was close. Faith shrugged.
"I'm sorry I didn't mention it. It was my fault." Buffy said quickly
attracting Giles's attention from me. Good girl.
"But you attacked back." Giles prodded, glaring hard at me. I look at his
feet and take an unneeded breath. My demon roared to rip his head off but I
didn't fancy Buffy seeing that side of me. Yet.
That's the demon talking.
"Natural reaction. I didn't know she was a slayer." I say slowly instead. It
was kind of the truth. It was a natural reaction to attack because I was
hungry as hell. Still am.
"Shouldn't vampires sense a slayer, especially two." The Watcher practically
glared. Fuck, this man was going to be dead if he continued. A low growl came
from my chest and I know that only the slayers heard it. Thank Gods. Control,
Angelus, control yourself.
"I was disorientated." I defended myself, making me words actual words. No
growling or anything. I should get a fucking prize. Buffy would do well.
"But-" Giles started but was quickly interrupted by Buffy. She spoke quickly,
afraid for my sanity if Giles should say something else.
"He said he didn't know. Enough with the interrogation." Buffy snapped
halfhearted. I know that half of her was siding with Giles, trying to pin
something on me and expel me from her life.
"Oh, was this also not his fault?" Ripper snapped sarcastically. He was
angry, I acknowledge. He was angry that I killed his precious Jenny and that
I am getting away with it and he wants justice. Perfectly understandable. But
Jesus fucking Christ, I am going to kill this man. That will be my justice.
"Woah, calm down, G-man." Faith held her hands up in surrender before Buffy
could retort. I stand by the counter, finally raising my eyes to meet his. I
know he is shocked when he finds nothing but anger and pain. No guilt. Just
like no sanity. Shit, I'm losing it.
"Buffy, in my office, now." Giles growls, his voice trembling with anger. I
want to smirk but I control myself. I lock eyes with him until he closes the
office door with Buffy inside. Jealously and anger flares to life within me.
I strain to hear what they are saying. Obviously, something about me not
being good enough for her.
Well, you know what? I will have whoever the fuck I want.
And I want Buffy.
Part 3
Buffy walked out of Giles's office looking even worse and more pissed off
than Giles. She angrily grabbed her slayer bag of handy tools and stakes and
looked towards me. Her anger was directed at Giles and not me. Thank God. I
would have turned to ash under her gaze.
"Come on. We are leaving." Her sentence left no room for arguing. It wasn't
like I was going to deny her anyway. I would give my left arm to get away
from this damned library. The awkward silence between Faith and me while
Buffy was talking with Giles was enough to make my skin crawl. Her eyes never
seemed to stop wandering over me.
Buffy brushes pass me and slowed slightly at the double doors of the
entrance. I nod my hello and apology to Faith before I give an emotionless
look to Giles. He glared at me, his gaze promises that this was not over.
Never thought it would be, old man.
My lip curls into a slight snare at him before I follow my Slayer.
******
The walk home was silent. The only sound was our shoes clicking against the
pavement. I can sense the anger flowing off from her in sharp waves of pain.
It made me wince but I also matched it. I was angry at myself, at Giles. I
feel like a hypocrite. I blame myself for crimes and all woe is me but when I
get the same from another person, I snap. I shake my head. What else would
you expect from an abomination?
"Okay, what the hell is your problem?" Buffy suddenly whirls on me in the
middle of the sidewalk. I fight the urge to roll my eyes and say, "not you
too," but I hold it back. I simply stare at her for a second before letting
out an exasperated sound and walking ahead.
"Hey! I'm talking to you, damnit." She shouted after me, running over and
grabbing my arm and spun me around. I glare at her, feeling anger once again
rise in me. I clench my jaw and my hands clench into fists.
"Not now, Buffy." Every word was slow and stressed. I felt like I was going
to snap but I would not do it on Buffy. She has done nothing. She only sent
me to Hell and made me insane with need. Bitch. Doesn't she have any idea
what she is doing?
"Then when, Angel?" She glares at me, her eyes filled with anger and hurt.
"We barely talk anymore and I don't know what you are going through until you
tell me!"
Just take deep breaths. I don't breathe but it is reassuring. It's not
helping me now, though. Maybe if I just ignore her, she will go away. I don't
say anything, testing my theory.
"Oh, what a shock! You have nothing to say." Buffy snapped, throwing her arms
up in frustration. Ignore her, she is just trying to get something out of
you, I advise myself. The mansion is only a block away, I can make it. Gods,
help me. My anger is giving me a headache and my demon demands me to show
Buffy who she is talking to. I feel dizzy and I close my eyes. Emotions of
anger and hate move through me and I try to concentrate on what Buffy is
yelling at me about. The world spins and whispers sound in my head. Jesus,
I'm going insane. I know it.
"I don't even see the point anymore, Angel!" Buffy keeps going on and on and
her angry voice hurts my ears. "I though that we could work this out but
obviously you still have problems with me and don't want me now." She is
crying by now.
"I don't know what to do anymore! I just want to understand what's-" I can't
take it anymore. Something inside me snaps.
"Shut up! Just shut the hell up!" I scream, roughly pushing her away from me.
Everything snaps back to reality at the thump of Buffy falling on the ground.
I gasp in realization.
"Oh God." I whisper. What did I just do? I lost control. Shit. Not on Buffy,
why couldn't I yell at something evil? "Buffy," I whisper, my voice pained.
She is staring up at me with hurt and disbelief. With wide eyes, I quickly
fall to my knees, gathering her in my arms. She tries to push me away but I
won't let her. I just pull her tighter and bury my face into her hair.
Ohgodohgodohgod. What did I do? Please, forgive me, mate.
I rock her back and forth slowly, nursing her and my own sanity. I never lost
control like that. It scared me more than anything. I push back my fear to
the deepest corners of my mind. I had other things to worry about right now.
"Shh, Gods, I'm sorry." I whisper into her hair. She is still trying to push
me away but I won't let her go. I need her to stay with me. She can't ever
leave me. She won't. I'll make sure of it.
"Please, stop." I beg of her. Why is she still fighting me? Doesn't she
understand that I'm sorry for hurting her? Why doesn't she just accept me,
like she always has?
"Angel, please, let me go." Buffy's voice is trembling, half from her crying
and half from fear. Fear of what? I don't understand.
"No." I answer. I shake my head vigorously. I won't let go of her. I never
will. Buffy needs to accept that like I have. I don't care if she doesn't
want me. I will prove to her that I need her and I know that she needs me.
"Angel," Her voice has a hint of warning and it makes me grip her tighter.
"No." I answer again. I rest my cheek on her head, still rocking back and
forth. I shout in surprise when my contact with her was abruptly denied. With
a sudden burst of strength, Buffy pushed me away and I stumbled back. I
landed on my ass with my hands behind me, bracing the fall. My Slayer lands a
couple feet from me but it is too far. Her eyes are filled with fear and
tears are streaking down her cheek.
"Buffy, it's okay. It's just me." I assure her. Why is she acting so strange?
Why is she so scared?
"Are you sure about that?" She sniffles.
I chuckle. "I still have a soul, Buffy."
There is a pause and she stares into my eyes. I stare back until she is
satisfied. I can't really tell if she is disappointed or happy that I have a
soul. Maybe she doesn't want to believe that even I can breakdown.
"I just want to go home, now." Her voice was small and childish. It makes me
want to kiss her.
"The mansion is only a block away, you can spend the night there." I
suggested. The silent 'with me' hung in the air.
"No." My mate says it a little too quickly for my liking. "I want to go
home."
"I'll walk you." I insist. A part of my wants to demand that she spend the
night at the mansion. I need the support, but I doubt that I will be able to
keep my hands off her.
"No." She says again. We are both still sitting on the cold hard ground. I
bet onlookers would stop and stare at the funny picture. Thank God the
streets were empty tonight. I frown at the answer.
"Why not? I'm sorry about what happened. I lost control, I'm okay now." I ask
slowly. My possessiveness gets the better of me. Is she seeing someone else?
I sniff the air for a second, detecting no other scent on her. Only mine. It
makes me want to purr in satisfaction.
"I just want to be alone right now." Buffy responds, wiping her tears with
the back of her hand.
"I said that I was sorry." My voice was harsher and I couldn't control it. I
*need* her. I won't let her leave just because I slipped for a second.
Weren't I allowed to breakdown sometimes too? Or is that only a human thing?
"And I said that I just wanted to be left alone." Buffy snaps, her anger is
thick and I sigh. She pulls her self off the ground and I follow her
movements.
"I *want* to walk you home." I enunciate every word.
"We can't get everything thing we want." My blonde answers and wraps her arms
around herself. I take a step closer but she takes a step back.
"You are scared of me." I answer. Now I know that fear in her eyes. Fear of
me. Some part of me is happy from the dominance but I squash the feeling
quickly. I reach out and touch her cheek. She flinches and I remove my hand.
"You are shaking like a leaf." I also note. Such an observer.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Buffy quickly says before turning and walking off. I
don't follow, even though a large part of me wants too.
I will see her tomorrow, if she comes to me or I seek her out. I will show
her that she wants me. I will make her. I need her to love me.
Part 4
The next day came by slowly. I spent the afternoon brooding, getting pissed
off at myself and every inanimate object in my reach. Which was why half of
my vases were broken and shattered on the floor. Damnit, I really loved my
one sculpture that was now scatter in a billion pieces. It would make a fun
time trying to get everything back together.
Buffy didn't come and visit me and I found my self waning with need to see
her, touch her, talk to her. I felt like an ass for the other day but I
couldn't help it. I wanted her to stay in my arms, she refused and I got
pissed off. That's exceptional if we were dating. But I don't think that you
would call Buffy's and my relationship 'dating.' Especially if we barely
talked to each other.
I'm slowly started to be terrified of myself. I'm afraid of what I might do
when I see Buffy again. My whole being is shaking with the intense need to be
near her. I'm sacred because these are only feelings that Angelus has.
Obsession, the need for dominance over someone else. As much as it disgusts
me to admit it, my demon and I are one. I will never be anything else.
I'm worried about the stability of my curse. Is it in place right? Why am I
having these emotions? Questions that I cannot answer, the only person that
could answer those is one person I do *not* want to see.
As soon as the sun is down, I'm out. I bask in the feeling of the moonlight
raining down on me and take an unneeded breath of the night air. Ahh,
freedom. Sure, a little bit of sunlight would be nice to see every other
decade but I belong to the dark. I would feel lost without it. We have a lot
in common, the moon and I. When the sun comes out, we hide, but when the
night comes, we dominate. I smile, my face inclined towards the bright rock
in the sky.
*******
I enter the Bronze, immediately hit with the familiar scent of sex and sweat.
The pulsing music controls the helpless victims as they grind their bodies
together. I move through the crowd, untouched. I locate my slayer almost
immediately. She is sitting at her usual table with her pathetic friends
Xander, Willow, and Cordelia. She doesn't deserve those insignificant humans,
she needs me. Someone strong, someone who will protect her.
With those words ringing in my ear, I stay under the stares, watching her. My
beautiful slayer laughs at something that Xander said but it is all fake. A
facade. Her smile is painted on and any fool can see that she is greatly
disturbed by something. Sad or angry, her eyes are screaming her emotions.
Though, my lover has had practice with this kind of thing, she is almost a
professional liar. Her stupid "friends" can't see that she is in obvious need
of comfort.
I shift my position slightly and Buffy seems to sense the movement. Her head
whips around and her eyes seem to look straight at me. I stay hidden, reading
her guarded expression like an open book. I await her emotions. I am rewarded
with a look of disappointment as she turns back to her friends. I smile. Good
girl.
I approach carefully, judging every step as I walk over to her. By the way
her hair stands up on the back of her neck, she feels me coming. She makes an
excuse to her friends as she walks to greet me halfway. I take a breath
staring at her. I sigh painfully, angry at myself for not inventing a word
that can describe her beauty. Marvelous, beautiful, glowing, gorgeous can't
even come close to Buffy. She is something indescribable.
But before she can reach me, she is interrupted by a brown, sandy blonde,
hair kid. He is a good foot taller than her and he immediately start chatting
away as if he knew my girl. I strained my eyes to listen to see if he was
just some college jock trying to get into her pants. They look friendly
together. A little too friendly.
"Hey, thought that I would find you here. It is like you have been avoiding
me lately." The man says. I watch was interest and a growing jealousy that
consumes my entire being. I raise an eyebrow at my Slayer as she looks passed
the mere child to give me a helpless and guilty look. My jaw is set firmly
and I raise my other eyebrow. I know a look of annoyance is set firmly on my
face.
"Look, Scott, its has been a rough couple of weeks and..." Buffy starts but
the boy interrupts her. Scott? What kind of name is that? I growl under my
breath. I can't believe that *my* Buffy was dating a pathetic jackass named
Scott. Well, at least Scott is better then a name like....Riley or something
fucked up.
"Say no more." Scott cheerfully interrupts. "Lemme buy you a drink and I will
make it all better."
Who the *fuck* does this child think he is? I can barely stand still
listening to this bullshit. The feeling of ripping Scott's handsome head off
his shoulders was a little more than tempting. I was suddenly angry at Buffy
for betraying me.
"Maybe some other time." Buffy smiles politely before brushing past him and
walking over to me. I can barely see straight through my rage and haze of
redness that has blurred my perfect vision. I heard Buffy calling my name and
I snap out of my rage. I see Scott's gaze burning into me and I could taste
the jealousy. I lock eyes with him, my lips curling into a sneer as I
possessively bend down and kiss Buffy's forehead.
He glares at me, our eyes never straying from each other's until he was the
first to walk away. I smile cruelly, knowing I have won.
"You hurt is feelings." Buffy watches the exchange with guilt and shame.
"What do you know about hurt feelings?" I snarl back. I can't help it. A part
of me is furious that she dare betray me. Buffy looks down at the ground.
"Okay, I deserve that." Damn right you did. Next time her punishment will be
greater.
I hope that was the demon talking.
"Did you talk to Giles?" I say instead of my silent warning. Buffy looks up
at me, not making eye contact.
"No." It was a lie and we both knew it. The hurt and pain in her eyes was
more than enough evidence. She talked to him and probably got yelled at and
endless lectures about me. I should pay a visit to the old man later.
"About yesterday-" I started, I had an apology in my head but my goddess
interrupted me. Though, I don't really think that I should be saying sorry.
She got pushed down, that happens to her everyday. I said I was sorry and
held her. What the else did I need to do to prove myself to her?
"Don't." She said simply, holding up her hand signaling me to stop. Maybe it
was too painful for her to even think about. I frown.
"I need you to understand that-" Once again she interrupted me. I push down
the annoyance and listen to her beautiful and pained voice.
"I know. I know all of this." She says but she doesn't have a clue. My
perfect innocent Slayer is blissfully ignorant.
"Then you would know that I'm sorry." Not really, but it seems like the right
thing to say at the time. Buffy nods and forces another smile.
"You don't need to do that." I say, angry at her for trying to be fake around
me.
"What?"
"Smile. I would rather have you frown that fake smile." I say bluntly. Buffy
looks a bit shocked that she is caught but she must know that I am the expert
of masks. She doesn't respond and her smile drops. I reach out and run my
thumb over her lips. My other hand cups the back of her head, guiding her
lips up to mine.
Our kiss is slow and bittersweet but the moments are lips touch I need more.
The taste of her is incredible and I can't have enough. I pull her flush up
against me and she moans into my mouth. I growl, flicking my tongue out,
demanding entrance into her sweet mouth. She obeys. I almost smile and I dip
my tongue into her sweetness and nearly die from the taste. The kiss turns
savage and passionate in less than a minute. Our bodies are smashed together
and my hands are now gripping her hips tightly, digging my nails into her
jeans. I know that she will probably have bruises but I don't care. Her
fingers run through my hair and I purr against her lips. Our tongues duel for
dominance and my hands move lower, roaming over her perfect ass.
I snarl, need more contact, I wanted to take her right there on the dance
floor but I won't allow another man to see her like I have. I push her
forward, never breaking the kiss, until she is slammed against a column by
the stairs. I press her hard against the medal, urging her legs around my
waist. Oh Gods, kill me now, my life is complete.
All my pent up anger and frustration explodes into the kiss and I nibble
roughly on her lower lip. My skin burns where her small hands roam under my
shirt, pulling at my belt buckle. I break away from her lips to bury my face
into her neck. I roughly bite down, drawing specks of blood and I lap at
them. Buffy moans and withers against me, her legs pulling closer to her
until I feel like we are one person. I nibble, pull, kiss, lick any path of
exposed skin. My hands roam under her shirt, cupping her breast. I can't get
enough. I want more. I *need* more. Buffy holds my head to her neck, making
small noises of want. More blood rises from where her skin breaks and I lick
greedily. It's an elixir and I demand more.
"Ugh! Gross! PDAs much?" An annoying voice interrupts us and I turn to the
bitch with a snarl. If my hands weren't holding my lover to me then I would
have snapped this bitch's neck.
"Cordelia." Buffy says, embarrassed. Her face was flush and her voice was
breathless. She reluctantly lets go of me and I set her back on the floor
gently. I look over her to make sure nothing is exposed that other people in
the Bronze shouldn't see. Buffy fixes her shirt sheepishly and I smirk at her
shyness. She glares at me for getting a kick out of how embarrassed she is. I
simply shrug it off.
"Deadboy, hands off. Remember why you ran around and killed my friends in the
first place." Another annoying voice sounded and I turn to meet Xander. Ugh,
out of all of her friends, this one is the one I hate most. A pathetic loser
trying to get my girl. He could only dream. I open my mouth to retort, my
eyes cold as I start hard at him but I interrupter by the feeling of
electricity that went through me when Buffy grabbed my hand. I know that she
did it to restrain me instead of support me. What a smart girl I have.
"Xander." I say coldly instead of my first response which was probably
something along the lines of "get the fuck away from you fucking moron." I
think Xander sounded better, at least to Buffy.
"I thought having rabid dogs out in public without a leash is illegal. What
is he doing here?" Xander snarls. I have to give the kid credit, he knows how
to push people's buttons. But, I'm not people. So that means, that this kid
really knows how to piss a vampire off.
"Xander." Buffy warns, her voice threatening.
"What? He can't speak for himself. He killed people I knew, my friends, and
he has nothing to say? You seemed full of good threats when you were evil, oh
wait! *You* weren't evil it was your alter ego, Angelus. I keep forgetting."
Xander drawls on, a look of pure hatred on his face. I see his hands clench
and I know he is trying to stop himself from hitting me. He can try.
"Xander, Xander, Xander. What a silly child." I smirk at him. My eyes cold
and my cruel smirk made his tough guy act falter. I step closer to him, I
don't want Buffy to hear this, and lean down to his level.
"Listen, *boy*, just because I have my soul now, doesn't mean that I am your
whipping boy. I'm going to stay with Buffy for however the long I want. So,
I'm going to give you from *very* good advice. Fuck. Off." I whisper and step
back, my smirk wider at the look of shock and revulsion on his face.
Buffy and Cordelia looked confused at what I said and I raise my eyebrows at
the kid. With a cry of rage, he reels back and throws a wild punch. He fought
from his emotions for the punch was strong but off aim. I swiftly move out of
the way by leaning my body to the right.
"Xander!" Buffy yelled in outrage and shock. I chuckle at his miss and he
uses her other hand to punch again. This time, I grab his fist and then grab
him by the throat. I lift him up, off the ground, with every intention to
throw him all the way on the other side of the Bronze but Buffy's enraged
voice stops me.
"Angel! Put him down! Are you insane?" She cries out, worried for her
friend's safety. I look back at her, not putting him down. She looks at me
expectantly as I can feel Xander desperately wrenching trying to get out my
grasp.
"Buffy, do something!" Cordelia shouts, also worried for Xander. "Stake him
or something!"
I sigh and drop Xander, he falls to the floor like a brick and rubs his
bruised neck. He glares up at me, gasping for breath.
"You bastard." He rasped.
"Was that really called for?" Buffy asked, angry and concerned at the same
time. I shrugged.
"You did see him strike at me, right?" I ask, mad because she is taking his
side. It was self defense, damnit. She sighed, knowing I was right. A crowd
has formed around us by now, I look at them threateningly. They quickly get
back to their own business. I smile and look down at Buffy, who is definitely
not smiling. I frown.
"Fine." I roll my eyes. I look towards the ground, expecting to see Xander
but all I see is a fist flying into my face. It didn't really hurt but it
caught my off guard. My head snaps to the side and I spin wildly, looking
around the child and his bitch. He is heaving a step in front of me and I
lunge but Buffy holds me back.
"Xander, stop it!" Buffy snaps and then stands in front of me. I give her an
annoyed look.
"Buffy..." I say, my words holding warning. She better get out of the way
before I move her myself.
"Stop." She says forcefully and then turns to Xander. "That goes for you too,
damnit. You are acting like a bunch of children."
I stand behind Buffy, resting my chin on her shoulder. I smile victoriously
at Xander and he knew deep down that I had won. It is not about getting the
last hit. I still have the thing that he yearns for. Buffy. I smirk at him
one more time before Buffy demands that we leave. Fine by me.
"You better watch you back." The ignorant child warns me. I look to see if
Buffy is watching before I land a swift punch in his stomach. Xander double
overs in pain. Okay, I lied, it is also about getting the last hit. I grin at
him.
"You don't only have your back to watch." I say before I follow my lover out
the door.
Part 5
The walk home from the Bronze was silent. Not really an uncomfortable
silence, but an angry one. When we reached the mansion, Buffy apologized for
Xander's behavior. I simply shrugged, happy that she didn't add anything
about my reaction to the child. It was a good idea on her part. I wanted to
smirk devilishly at her because she was still blushing from our kiss. And
what a kiss it was. We parted with a brief kiss. I held her to me, getting
swept up in her storm, but Buffy pulled away. She always seems to be the one
pulling away now.
That was an hour ago. There was still a couple of hours until the night was
over and I wouldn't go to sleep until dawn. Old habits die hard. I padded
barefoot across my mansion, bored as hell. I didn't want to brood about my
thoughts, read, draw, or exercise. I was running out of the blood but I
wouldn't be able to make it to the butcher and back before the sun came up. I
usually had to warn them before they came in. I bet I was their only customer
interested in the blood instead of the meat. Pigs blood, cows blood, even rat
blood. Everything was the same. Everything was bland.
Even human's blood had lost that certain appeal to me. The only meal I want
is Buffy. The drop of her red elixir at the Bronze was enough to get me on a
high for days. I could still feel it pulsing through me, becoming one with
me. Maybe I could ask her, it should be pleasurable for her too....no. Forget
it. No way. She would never let me bite her and I don't think I would be able
to stop if I ever did. But what is wrong with that? My lover would make an
excellent demon. As good of a demon she might make, I would miss her warmth
and her hot puffs of breath. It felt good against my neck and against my-
Okay, that train of thought stops there. No need for a cold shower.
Maybe I would have time to sneak into her bedroom, slide under the covers
with her. Fuck it if I don't have time. I need to see her. The need
overwhelms me and I find myself rushing for my shoes by the door.
I bend over to pick up my black shoes but am stopped short when my side door
swings open, the heavy oak hitting me on the top of my head.
"Fuck!" I shout, startled as I fall back. I growl, immediately moving to see
who the hell just hit me with a God damn door but am once again stopped short
when a large wooden crucifix is shoved into my face.
My demon immediately takes over my features as I fall back on the ground. My
chest rumbles with angry growls and they don't stop. I look hard at Giles and
Xander who have busted their way into my house. Giles held the cross in my
face and in his other hand was a stake. His eyes are full of such anger and
rage that I almost feel sorry for the chap. Almost.
The child has a crossbow, aimed at my heart. I quickly thought up of a battle
plan as I pull myself to rest on my elbows.
"Stay down, demon." Giles snarled, pushing the cross closer to my face until
I flinch and pull back until I'm completely laying on the floor. Alright, now
I'm pissed. The only person that could make me lay on the floor is Buffy and
I don't see her right now.
"What are you going to kill me?" A smile plays on my face as I act casual. I
bring my hands up behind my head, almost in a resting position. Mind games
are my favorite. Er, Angelus's favorite. Damnit.
"If he won't then I will." Xander sneered, his finger twitching. I glare at
the kid, my casual appearance swept away in an instance.
"It the mere idea of someone pathetic as you killing me. And what would your
Buffy think?" I mock a pout. "She would be so heartbroken that I am dead and
run into your arms for comfort. This is all just a ploy for your to play big
hero and get the girl." I watch was happiness as Xander's features twisted in
rage and hurt.
"But guess what? She is *mine*. She will always be mine. Even after I am dead
and she moves on, she will still be thinking of me. Even if she ever stoops
as slow as fucking you, my face will be in her head the whole time." I raise
my eyebrows twice.
I'm rewarded with a cry of hatred and rage and Xander's finger squeezers the
crossbow trigger tightly. I roll out of the way quickly, the bolt hitting the
ground I previously occupied, until I am right next to Xander. I kick my legs
out, kicking the crossbow out of his hands. I jump to my feet and swerve hard
to the right, narrowly avoiding being staked by Giles. I push the old man
forward and he hits the wall behind me.
I run quickly to grab the crossbow off the ground, turning to Xander who
froze in mid run. That's right, you bastard, you better be praying. I bask in
the smell of fear rolling off him in waves.
"Angelus!" Giles yells, trying to get my attention off the child. I smile
slowly.
"Please, Rupert, call me Angel." I say, what a fool. He thinks that I have
lost my soul. I am still the same old Angel, just a little improved. Giles
gets the hidden meaning and swallowed hard.
"I knew the curse Willow performed had worked, but not as well." Giles said
slowly. I listen carefully.
"Explain, Watcher." I demand. My eyes were still fixed on Xander who did not
move a muscle yet. I wonder why he cannot control his mouth the way he
controls his body now. It would save my a lot of trouble.
"You are not Angel but you are not Angelus." The old man says, his fingers
gripping the cross and the stake tightly. I frown, the cryptic reply
irritated me. I kept my features controlled, even though I could hear the
wood crossbow creaking against my tight hold. Xander winces, knowing how out
of control that weapon could be. Just one misfire and it would kill him
instantly.
"I have to think up a new name now? Damn, I thought two was enough." I
mutter.
"Or it could have been your many years in that demon dimension." Giles kept
going.
"Enough!" I shout, angry that he was analyzing me like some sort of
experiment. I turn my crossbow on him, keeping on eye on the child.
"You two will leave now." I say coldly.
"Not until I do what I came here to do." Xander challenged. What a dumb ass.
I quickly turn to him.
"Then I guess you will never leave." I snarl, I pull the trigger and the bolt
shoots out towards Xander, it struck him in the hand and went clean through.
My nose is quickly assaulted by the smell of warm blood. Damn, I should have
killed him. He is so lucky he is a friend of Buffy's. Before I can say
anything a sharp horrible pain hit my back.
I shouted in surprise and pain as I stumble forward. The smell of burnt flesh
mixes with the aroma of blood and I take an unneeded breath. The horrible
pain searing through my back blind me temporarily as I get kicked down to the
ground. I roar in pain and rage as I try to pull myself up but someone steps
hard on my back.
I let out another roar. I turn my face to see Giles pressing his boot on the
large cross burn on my back. I growl loudly, wincing as he presses his weight
down on my wound. My growl stops abruptly.
"You listen to me, whoever the hell you are now." He hisses to me. Oh, he was
going to pay dearly for that one. I can see Xander nursing his hand as curses
come streaming out of his mouth. That's what that little prick gets. I turn
my attention back to the old man.
"You will stay away from me, Xander and the rest of the gang. But most
importantly, you *will* stay away from Buffy." Giles snarls. I would gladly
stay away from them but Buffy? Fuck no. Who the fuck does this bitch think he
is? My God damn father? Well, I killed my father so I guess Giles is going to
get the same fate.
"Sorry, no can do, pops. Buffy is mine." With that, I painfully push myself
up quickly, knocking Giles off his balance. He falls hard on his back and I
quickly press my foot down on his face, I could easily break his neck from
this position. Now, who is on the ground, you prick? I would have screamed in
victory if my back didn't hurt so bad and if my dignity was intact. Being
pinned and injured by a Watcher, a human. How embarrassing.
"You got the whole thing wrong, Ripper. I wouldn't hurt Buffy. I could never
raise a hand to her even if I wanted her." I throw my hands up in frustration
and a sigh of disbelief flew from my lips.
"Fuck, I love the girl. Why can't anyone see that we are meant to be
together? I protect her, worship her, train her. I am her mate. And *no one*
will take that away from me. Not you, not this pathetic loser," I motion to
Xander. "not even Buffy can take it away. So I will be with her every chance
I have so you better get fucking used to it." I release the pressure on his
neck with a motion of disgust. I step away and watch as Xander grabs Giles
off the ground with his good arm.
"Come on, lets go." He ushers the elder man. Giles glares at me and I smile
and wave cheerfully. They quickly leave. Good fucking riddance. I wince as I
roll my shoulders. I stare down at the large wooden cross they left behind. I
spit on it with disgust. The burn mark on my back would only heal with blood
and the sun was coming up in a couple of minutes. Damnit. I quickly walk into
the bedroom and flopped down on my stomach with exhaustion.
What a day. Hopefully, there will be one like it tomorrow.
Darkness takes over me.
******
I woke up to the smell of blood and I whimper as I reach out blindly for it.
The bloodlust clouding my vision and my smell. Blood. I need it. *Now.* I
pull myself up and hiss with pain as I remember the wound on my beck. I
pitifully lay back down.
"You're up." A small precious voice spoke. I smile against my pillow and
close my eyes. Buffy was here, she would take care of me.
"Got some food from the butcher. I was just bandaging your wound. What
happened?" Concern clouded her voice.
"Fell on a cross." I lied, moving my shoulder slightly, my skin begging for
attention. She gets the idea and sits beside me. Her hand brushes feather
soft against my back. I sigh into my pillow.
"Yeah, that happens to me all the time." She remarks sarcastically.
"Especially since I keep a large wooden cross in my house."
I chuckle. I knew Xander and Giles wouldn't tell her, they would warn her but
they didn't tell her that they stormed my house and tried to kill me. I don't
need Buffy knowing about how I put a whole in Xander's hand either. So one
little secret wouldn't hurt.
"I wanted some decoration." I reply with a small smile as Buffy runs her
fingers through my hair. A small purr escapes my lips.
"I'll bring you some food, it is the only way it will heal." Buffy says, her
voice dropped down to a husky whisper. I smirk as she quickly leaves the
room. I love when she gets shy. I let out a pained sigh as I pull myself up
to a sitting position.
"Here ya go. Heated it up and everything." Buffy comes back with a styrofoam
cup. I take it slowly, sniffing it slightly. My nose wrinkles up in disgust.
Pigs blood, must be the worst. I look up towards Buffy's neck. It looked way
more appetizing than this substitute.
"Well, aren't you going to drink-" She is cut off by my growl as I throw the
cup. It breaks as it hits the wall, the blooding spread against the marble
floor and the wall. She shouts in surprise.
"What are you-" She is once again cut off as I gently push her back, laying
on top of her. I bend down to kiss her neck and she stiffens against me. I
drop feather light kisses against her flesh until she relaxes. I press my
weight down against her and her legs automatically wrap around my waist. I
groan at the feeling and nibble on her ear.
"Lover?" I whisper, my lips brushing against her cheek.
"Hmm?" She moans, oblivious to anything and lost in the feeling of our bodies
together.
"Can I? It won't hurt." I lick her neck pleadingly. "You'll love it." I
promise.
"Hmm." She moans, arching against me. I grind my lower body into hers and she
gasps. Music to my ears. I roughly bite down on her neck and she cries out in
pain and pleasure.
Oh God. I'm dying, her blood is burning me from the inside out. The elixir
fills my mouth, burning it's way down my throat. My close my eyes because
everything seems to be blurry and upside down. Her energy is seeping into me,
consuming me. I growl, burying my sharp fangs in her neck, biting harder. I
could dimly hear her shout as she comes beneath me but I ignore it. All I can
think about is her blood, her power, her life in my hands. It is an
incredible high and I feel my body humming with energy. Jesus Christ! The
pain of her nails digging into my back is blocked out along with the rest of
the world. I drink more, trying to get as much as I can. I can feel my body
shaking from the overload of power and I feel Buffy arch against me again.
Damn, that girl got some stamina.
She comes again, shouting my hand, and I rip my fangs painfully from her
neck. I quickly go into withdrawal, my body and demon confused on why my
source to this wonderful coppery liquid was cut off. She is panting heavily
beneath me and I join her. I can't lift my self off her, my whole body is
shaking, consulving. I took too much. My body couldn't handle such power. I
wince as the burning grows strong in my stomach but I can't help but want
more. I want it all. I hiss as I push myself off her, laying on my fully
healed back.
"Shit." I whisper, my body slowly calming down. My fingers tremble as I push
Buffy against me. The pain inside heals a bit.
"Angel." My slayer whispers weakly. I can barely hear her when my the ringing
in my ears was so loud. My skin was crawling and I was torn between running
across the world or sleeping forever. Buffy touches my cheek, her eye lids
dropping slightly. I took too much for her to handle also. I push her on top
of me and she buries her face against my hand.
"Are you okay?" She whispers, fear evident in her voice.
"Powerful." Is all I can say. My mind seems to shut down at the feel of her
on top of me.
"That felt..." She trails off and I remember the feeling of her withering
under me. I look down towards the still bleeding mark on her neck. I marked
her. She is mine now, whether she wants it or not. We are bound by flesh. I
smile, leaning back against the pillow, the feeling of her blood running
through me was now pleasurable. I feel weightless.
Now, no one can take her away from me.
Part 6
I woke up, surprisingly still next to my gorgeous blonde. I smirk down at her
sleeping form, taking time to memorize it. Although, I know she will be
spending many nights in my bed.
I practically skipped out of my room, my whole being roaring with energy. I
bounced around the mansion like a person in an insane person in a padded
room. The need to run, to kill, to feed was consuming me. Why do vampires
have to be hidden at sunlight? It would be a perfect world if I could hunt
all day. Even the uneasy feeling of the sun was not enough to break through
my power high. A good training with Buffy should help me. I'll wait until she
wakes.
I kicked high in the air, fighting my invisible opponent. I ducked a hit and
whirled around to throw a wild punch at nothing behind me. I continued,
hitting and kicking the air. I was fast, almost to a point where everything
was going in slow motion but me. Finally, a real punch hit me hard in my
cheek. I stumbled slightly, spinning to see my marked Slayer, her bedhead
hair was mused and she seemed to be glowing with energy despite her blood
loss.
I grin at our game, my facing morphing but she barely notices. My lover is an
excellent fighter but no one can beat me on my high. Before she has time to
throw another punch, I kick her in her stomach. She flies back and hits the
wall. I growl at her, demanding for her to face me again. Buffy rolls to her
feet, running and jumping to land a solid hit on my chest. I take a step back
and Buffy raise an eyebrow. I smirk and move around her.
Buffy looks around wildly and I bask in the fact that I am moving to fast for
her to see. I hook my elbow around her throat putting little pressure on her
windpipe. Buffy's head slams back, crushing my nose. I release her and before
I have time to recover she backhands me in the face. I throw a punch but she
is already behind me, kicking the back of my leg, forcing me to my knees. She
moves to knee me in my spine but I quickly move my arm back, hooking my arm
around her knee and bring her forward. She falls on her back and I am on her
at once. I straddle her waist, holding her hands down with my knees.
I grin down at her as she pants heavily, morphing back to my human features.
"Too slow." I tease her, I have to train her better. She is getting sloppy in
her attacks, letting her guard down. A master vampire could kill her in an
instant. I could kill her quickly.
"You are too fast," She winces slightly. "And strong."
I make no move to get off her, I like my view and position. Why should I
move? She can take the pain.
"You need to be better prepared, an elder vampire could kill you easily." I
say, warning in my tone. She raises an eyebrow.
"It is not everyday an elder vampire drinks Slayer blood, either. " She
smiles lightly and I grin, dipping down to kiss my mark on her neck. Oh,
Giles would love that.
"You have to prepared for everything."
"I can kick your ass any other day." Buffy replies, bucking me off with a
wild movement in her hips. She flips up quickly as I lay down on my back,
smiling up at her.
"What are you smiling about?" Buffy asks, a challenge in her voice and I
could see how bad she wants to beat me in our game. I chuckle and before she
notices, I am behind her. I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my chin on
her shoulder. She jumps slightly, not noticing me until I touched.
"My lover, this is not any other day." I whisper in ear, taking delight in
her shiver. She leans back against me, arching her neck to me. I chuckle.
"Again, mate?" I ask, dropping wet kisses on her collarbone. She nods
vigorously.
"Are you sure you can handle that?" Her breathy voice whispers. I growl in
response but before I bite down the rude phone rings loudly. I snarl in
frustration at the damn machine before breaking away to answer it. Buffy
whimpers in protest.
I answer with a snarl. "What?"
"Hello? Angel?" A timid voice answers. I sigh. Willow. I shove the phone to
Buffy, angry at the redhead for interrupting. My lover's blood has filled me
to the brink but it doesn't mean that I can't have more. I listen to the
conversation between the redhead and my Slayer.
"Hello? Will, what are you-....yeah," Buffy looks at me with a raised
eyebrow. "No, he would never....oh....but they shouldn't have...is he okay?
He could live with a couple stitches...oh. What? No! Whatever. Fine." Buffy
slams the phone on the receiver and I hoped that she broke it. I didn't need
any more interruptions. I frown as my lover angrily stormed to get her shoes
and coat.
"Where are you going?" I demand to know.
"You have Xander five stitches." She said, turning to give me a stern look. I
shrug. What? Am I supposed to feel sorry for the bastard. He is lucky I
didn't shoot him in heart.
"Would you rather have him dead?" I snarl. She could not possibly be angry at
me for this. Women.
"Don't talk like that." She glares at me. I raise an eyebrow.
"It was self defense, damnit! Those bastards came into my house and fucking
threatened to kill me!" I yell loudly, feeling rage boil up inside of me.
Buffy's movements cease as she looks at me in shock. I never curse in front
of her, it is a matter of respect really.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that." She says slowly.
"Are you ordering me around?" I'm practically shaking with rage. Buffy held
her hands up in surrender, she knew that I could kill her if I wanted to
right now. I was too fast and too powerful for her right now.
"Angel," Buffy says slowly, staring deep into my eyes. "calm down."
We are halfway across the room from each other but we could read each other
perfectly. I could smell fear rolling off her. Good, she better be terrified
of me. My jaw is set tightly and it is a challenge to push my words out.
"Giles and that *stupid* child came in here, threatened me and shoved a cross
on my back. I couldn't let them just get away with it." I say slowly, the
words gritted out between clenched teeth. Buffy blinks, she had forgotten
about my wound. She slowly registered the words.
"Okay, I'm not mad. Calm down." She says slowly, her voice trembling
slightly. Her stance is tense and I could see that if I make on wrong move
then she will dash into the sunlight, I force myself to relax, pushing down
the rage.
"But I have to go." What? Now why did she have to say something like that?
She was doing so well...
"No." I say simply. I won't let her leave yet. "Just stay a little longer."
"I *have* to go. Xander is in the hospital and I need to see Giles." Buffy
explains, trying to tell me she is not leaving because she is mad. I won't
accept it.
"It is just a little longer." I stalk closer to her until I am in arm's
length to her. I could catch her if she tries to run and knows that. But as
always, she is stubborn. That is why I love her so much.
"Angel, I really need to go. I have to check in with my Mom also. Its a busy
day. I will be back later and we will go patrol. All right?" She is talking
in a soothing voice, as if she is talking to a child. I'm not a child though.
"No." I tell her again. I will not resort to pleading.
"No?" She says again. Is she deaf? Did I just say she was not leaving or was
I imagining it? She moves towards the door, I reach out for her but Slayer
speed is too fast for me, even when I am high on her blood. She steps into
the sunlight where I cannot reach her. She is *so* lucky.
"I'll come by later." Buffy forces a smile. "Bye." And then she leaves. Just
like that, walking off into the daylight. What a cheater. She didn't even try
to put up a fight, just went right to the low blow. Damn.
******
It was night for over an hour and my mate still hasn't been here to see me,
as she promised. Lying bitch. I wasted an hour of my freedom for her. I sigh
as I slip on my jacket. I guess I will just have to go and hunt her out.
I do a quick sweep of the cemeteries, finding only one vampire to taunt for a
couple minutes. What a drag. No Buffy. I stopped by at the Bronze only to see
Cordelia flirting with Xander. We lock eyes and mine turn yellow, angry
because this kid has the nerve to look me right in my eyes after what he
said. He doesn't even deserve to be near me. Having him kiss my feet would
even be unwelcome. I snarl at him before leaving. The only place left is the
library. She wouldn't be at home on a beautiful night like this.
Giles would probably be at the library so if Buffy wasn't there, then I would
still have fun taunting him. I would gloat about the mark on Buffy's neck. It
would make my night much more fun. I reach the school steps but stop when my
sense go crazy. A slayer is near by, but not mine.
I turn to greet the brunette from a couple nights ago. I smile at the fiery
woman and I could hear her heart pounding in my ears. I wonder if her blood
was as good as Buffy's. But nothing could be better.
"Hey. Faith, right?" I smile nonchalantly. She seems to tense and I watch as
her arms wind around her back, reaching for the stake in her waistband. I
grin. This would make an interesting fight. She is inexperienced and I still
have Buffy's blood flowing in me. It would make for a quick, but interesting
battle.
"Yeah and you are ... Angel? Giles warned me about you but B can't stop
bragging. Thought I would see for myself." She looks me up and down, sizing
me up. For sex or for a fight, I don't know.
"Are you planning on staking me, Faith?" I ask her, my eyebrows raised and my
voice light with amusement. She grins.
"Oh yeah, but I want my way with you first." She launches at me but I make no
move to dodged. She slams me up against the school wall, plunging her mouth
against mine. I respond to her kiss, letting her tongue in my mouth, but
don't wrap my around her. Her frame is not like Buffy's and I would not be
satisfied. I finally break the kiss and Faith is flushed.
I look up towards the sky, as if contemplating, I lick my lips then shake my
head.
"No, Buffy kisses better. She tastes like strawberries but you...you taste
like vodka. Not bad though, kid." I grin at her as she steps back in rage.
She was played and she knows it. I watch the hate boiling in her eyes and she
whips her stake out but I continue to talk.
"And then Buffy does this thing with her tongue. Let me say, *wow*." I smirk
and Faith launches at me.
I sidestep and she slams into the wall. She hits her fist against the
concrete before spinning back at me. I duck a messy punch before sweeping her
legs out from under her. The brunette falls hard on her back and I look down
at her.
"Tsk, tsk. You leave your back unguarded and your aim is disrupted by your
anger. Not a very good thing for a slayer." I chuckle as she lets out a
scream of frustration and anger and flips to her feet. We circle around each
other for a long moment, awaiting the first mood.
"Hey Deadboy!" A familiar annoying voice distracts me and I turn around to
glare at Xander. I am responded with a kick to my jaw from Faith. I snarl in
anger at the child before rolling off the ground. Faith's stake hit the
concrete where I just was and it shattered open impact.
"Shit, splinters." She cursed, holding her hand. I ignore her, bored of our
little game. I race to the top of the stairs in front of the school to reach
Xander. He is staring at me with an arrogant grin.
"Why do you need to pick fights with everyone? Can't we all just get a long?"
He quipped.
I growled. "I will take pleasure in ripping your head off boy." I reach for
him, grabbing him roughly by the shoulders, too fast for him to respond.
Something hot and sharp strings the left side of my face and I yell in pain.
Holy water. That little Xander piece of shit! I roar in anger and throw him
roughly away from me, bending over to nurse my face. I could feel welts
rising but most of it was quickly healed from the slayer blood in my veins.
"Fuck!" I scream in anger. I look towards the bottom of the stairs to see
Faith bending over Xander who was lying on the ground. "That's it." I snarl,
stalking over to them. I grab Faith by the arm and pull her away from the
fallen child.
"I'm gonna kill this bastard." I snarl but stop short at Faith's voice.
"You already did." I turn to her and she is staring wide eyed at the boy on
the floor. I quickly turn to look at Xander to see his neck bending at a
strange angle. I freeze.
"What?" I ask, my voice soft but full of venom.
"You killed him!" Faith turned to me, her eyes wide with panic and her voice
high. She was acting hysterical. "He hit his head on the stairs and he broke
his neck! You killed him!" She screamed. I turn to look at the motionless
Xander.
"Oh *shit*!"
Part 7
Faith's breathing was becoming hysterical and I wish she would just shut the
fuck up. She was giving me a headache and now I have to find out what to do
with this Xander kid. Damn, I just don't know my own strength anymore. I
looked hard down at his unseeing eyes and frowned.
"Jesus, Buffy is going to freak. I hope she kills you! You are not even
sorry." Faith practically sobbed, her eyes were watering and I guess this is
the first time she has seen someone killed, someone who was her friend
anymore. Guess this chick is not all tooth and nails.
"Hey!" I snap at her, pointing an accusing finger. "Buffy *does not* find out
about this." She would hate me, I can't have that happened. Not like I meant
to kill him, well, okay I did mean to kill him but that wasn't until I turned
Buffy against him. Damnit. What ever happened to organized plans?
"What the hell are you going to do about it? There is a dead body of your
girlfriend's best friend out on the school's fucking steps!" Faith yelled,
she seemed to get her act together as the anger and fear settled in.
"Do you want to scream it out a little more? Remember, that if I go down for
this, I am taking you with me." I snap. That shut her up
"Besides, I've been killing and covering up for years." I grab Xander by the
arms, dragging him from the school. "It is like riding a bike, once you learn
how, you never forget." I muttered. Shit, this kid is heavy.
"Don't just stand there. Help me, damnit. Grab his legs." I order Faith. She
stares at me as if I had grown three heads.
"You are disgusting." She turns and runs into the school.
"Fine!" I snarled but I freeze when the realization sunk in. She ran into
Sunnydale High school, which has a library. Which has a librarian know as
Giles. Shit! I drop the body quickly, dashing in after her. Buffy cannot find
out about this. She will never look at me the same. She needs to accept me,
not be disgusted by me. I catch up to Faith, who is not at her emotional
best, right before the library's double doors.
"Giles!" She screamed and I grabbed her around the waist and placed my hand
on her mouth. I drag her behind a row of lockers as the double doors swing
open. Giles looking around curiously. I am on the verge of panic and blowing
up with rage.
"Hello?" The Brit yelled out into the empty hallway. Faith is squirming in my
arms but I get a good hold on her. For about five seconds. She kicks out, her
boot slamming into the lockers across from us, making an abrupt noise and
knocking down the gray metal. I curse silently, my hand now on her throat. I
didn't want to come with threatening her but this is how it had to be.
I heard Giles run back into the library, getting a weapon most likely.
"Shut the hell up. I didn't mean to kill him but you are going to cooperate
whether you like it or not." I hiss in her ear, spilling out my words before
Giles came back. "You will not tell anybody or I personally hunt you down.
This is our little secret, Faith. I should never leave a witness around but
I like you, you are different. Do you understand my risk?"
She nods and I smell the fear on her. I hear Giles walking out and I quickly
push us into the men's bathroom. I still have a hand on Faith's mouth, just
in case she gets any ideas. Giles cannot have any link to me or Xander's
death. If he does, I'm fucked.
"Giles! Oh my God, Giles! Help me, please!" A high hysterical sob hurts my
ears as I hear footsteps running to meet with Giles. I listen closely, dread
filling my stomach.
"Willow? What's wrong?" Giles asks, forgetting his search for the us.
"It's Xander!" Willow sobs and I look up towards the sky. Why me? I got
through all this trouble to contain Faith that I completely forgot that I
left a dead body in front of the school. I am fucked.
I let go of Faith's mouth in a sign of trust and defeat as I hear Giles and
Willow racing to the front of the school. Faith leans against the wall,
breathing heavily. I turn and lightly bang my head against a bathroom stall
door.
"Shit," bang, "shit," bang, "shit." I curse. My shoulders drop and I sigh in
weariness, feeling my age. Things could not get worse. I shouldn't have
thought that.
More footsteps. "Willow, call the police and his parents." Giles's voice.
"Then call Buffy, ask her to call Angel also."
"Angel?" Willow sniffled.
"I just want to see if he is home tonight." The watcher's voice was filled
with rage and anger and sorrow. The bastard already suspected something.
Faith looked at me alarmed.
"What now?" She whispered, her voice was sad and soft. She was scared of me
and she hated it.
"I have to get to the mansion in less than five minutes." I mutter, quickly
moving to the window in the bathroom. "Remember what I said. This is our
secret, Faith." I turn to stare at her. Tears form in her eyes but she nods.
I force a smile for her sake. "Good girl." I say before climbing out the
window and running as fast as my legs can take me.
*******
I stumble into the mansion as the phone rings. I rush over to it, grabbing
it quickly.
"Hello?" I ask, thanking Gods that I don't breath or else I would have been
severely out of breath and it would be more than a little obvious.
"Angel?" Buffy soft broken voice whispers over the phone and I could hear
that she is crying. I sigh, I have caused her more pain. I will make it up to
her, she will be treated like a princess until she gets over that child's
death. He is not worth her tears.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask, knowing the answer. I use a soft voice, inwardly
apologizing for causing her pain.
"Can you just..." She sobs before talking back into the phone. " be at the
library in a couple of minutes?" Her voice is childish.
"Sure, whatever you want, beloved." I say and she hangs up. Great. Back to
that damned library.
*****
The library had changed since I last been there. There was police tape
around a body covered with a sheet, ambulances, onlookers, policemen,
detectives, mourning family members and friends. I see Buffy grieving in
Giles's arms behind the yellow tape and I force down my jealously. I quickly
step over the police line, approaching the two. Cordelia is sobbing
hysterically while Willow is obviously still in shock. Oz is holding her
hand. It surprised me that Faith was there. She was standing awkwardly next
to Cordelia. The brunette was patting the grieving girlfriend on the
shoulder.
"Buffy," I whisper and my mate turns to me, away from Giles. Just how I like
it. Her face is tear streaked and I open my arms to her. She doesn't hesitate
to crash into me. I hold her tight against me, kissing her hair, and stroking
her back. I meet Faith's eyes over her head and she looks away in guilt and
disgust.
Buffy sobs into my shirt, gripping my tightly. I lean down and whisper
soothing nonsense in her ear.
"Oh, beloved, I'm so sorry." I sigh. It had a deeper meaning then she would
ever know. I look up at Giles and he is glaring at me with uncontrolled rage
and hate. I stare at him, not revealing anything.
"You!" He shouts, pointing a finger at me. "You, out of all people, should
not be here. I know that you did it! You killed him!" The watcher is seething
with anger. Faith looks at Giles and me in alarm. She is scared of getting
caught also.
"Jesus, Giles! One of our good friends was killed! Give it a rest!" Buffy
breaks away from me to glare at her watcher. Tears spill from her eyes and I
didn't understand why his death affected her so deeply. He was just a child.
Would she mourn me like she mourned for him?
"Buffy," I chided gently. I was glad that she was standing up to him but I
don't think I would rip my slayer off him if she got too angry. She would
probably blame me for that later.
"No! I am sick of this charade of hate that you guys got going on. Xander is
dead." Buffy pauses for a second, wiping at her tears furiously. "And all you
can think about is blaming each other. We should be worrying about finding
who did this and we should worry about how Xander wanted us to go on." She is
breathing heavily over her speech and this is too much for her. Faith's eyes
burn into me but I ignore her. I pull Buffy back against me, kissing her
forehead.
"I want to go home." She whispers against my neck. I nod and drag her away
from the scene and shrug off the glares burning into my back.
******
I tuck her in my large bed before slipping under the covers next to her,
spooning her small frame. It is quiet for a long time and I think that
exhaustion has finally taken over her.
"Angel?" Or not.
"Yeah?"
"Giles was just angry today. Don't blame yourself." She whispers, her voice
soft and full of pain. I place my hand protectively over her flat stomach,
that always soothes her.
"I don't, beloved. I don't."
Part 8
The next week I was apologetic as ever. She woke up everyday in my arms and
she went to bed everyday in my arms. She didn't go home once. Not that I
would have let her go anyway. I made every meal for her that she ever asked
for. I showered her with gifts and read to her. She told me that I didn't
need to baby her because of Xander but I needed her to know how sorry I was.
I would never tell her that I was the one who accidentally killed Xander, but
I needed to show her my obedience.
Buffy only talked to her friends for short periods of time. Giles would
actually come over and console her. I had to leave the room at those times.
Pissed me off more than ever. Giles and Buffy were in the other room talking
right now.
I stalked back and forth in my bedroom, missing Buffy even though she was in
the other room. I've been close to her for so many days that an hour without
her was killing me. It was horrible weakness. One that needed to be fixed
quickly, problem was that I didn't know how to fix it. I wanted it gone. I
wanted this emptiness inside me away whenever she wasn't near me. It was
annoying and always nagging at me. Begging me to take the Slayer in my arms
and run away, never looking back.
Speaking of Slayers, my brunette one skipped town two nights ago. That raised
major suspicions and got the fire off me. Why would a new and potentially
dangerous Slayer leave Sunnydale barely a week after Xander's mysterious
murder? Faith went to Los Angeles from what I heard from Buffy. Interesting
choice in towns. She probably become nothing more than a prostitute.
Sick of being locked away in my own house, I slowly and quietly slipped into
the kitchen. I strained my ears to hear the hushed whispers.
"It's not safe for you to be here." Giles's voice. I *really* need to get rid
of that guy. Buffy will be much better without him.
"Giles..." My blonde replied in a tired voice.
"Ever since Angel came back from Hell, he has been...different. Dangerous and
moody. You shouldn't be around someone who can snap your neck in a second if
you say the wrong thing." Giles hisses.
"Exactly. He came back from *Hell*, the place where I sent him. If I was in
some fiery dimension for God only knows how long, would you blame me if I was
a little moody too?" Buffy snapped to my defense.
"You know that is not what I mean." Giles rubs the bridge of his nose.
"I know." Buffy looked down at her cup of coffee that I made for her earlier.
"He has been different, moody, but dangerous is too strong of a word. I know
he would never hurt me."
"We thought that about Xander too." Giles snapped and Buffy gasped in pain
and shock. I nosily walked over to them. Giles looked up at me, giving me a
look that could kill, but I ignored it. My Slayer didn't meet my eyes.
Fucking Watchers.
I grabbed her cup and poured the contents in the sink, filling it up with
fresh, hot coffee. I gently place it down before her. She looks up at me,
forcing a sad smile. I kiss the top of her head, whispering comforts in her
ear, my eyes never leaving Giles's. I loved to torture him like this. I
brushed her silky hair away from her neck, dropping a kiss on my mark. I want
to roar in victory as I hear Giles gasp at the scar on Buffy's neck. He
stands up quickly and I stand to full height.
"How dare you!" He growls at me and Buffy quickly stands up, standing in
between us. We both ignore her desperate shouts for us to calm down. We are
both too old to be listening to rules. I simply smile at his outburst,
knowing that he can curse me a thousand times but it would never hurt me as
much as it hurt him to see my mar k on mate's neck.
"Stop!" Buffy yells loudly, hitting my hard on my chest. I look down at her
in anger and shock.
"Why are you telling me to stop?" I yell back.
"Stop taunting him!" She shouts and then she turns to Giles. "And you! Stop
accusing him for something he didn't do! All I need is you two constantly
fighting! You are like a bunch of little girls"
A little girl? Is that what she just called me?
"He is not allowed in this house anymore!" I roar, slamming my fist down on
the table for emphasis. The old table creaked under my hit.
"Why the hell would I want to come back here?" Giles quickly grabbed his coat
and walked towards the door. "Come on Buffy." He said.
Buffy took a couple steps forward but then she stopped. She looked at me than
back at Giles then back at me.
"No, she is staying here." I snarl at Giles, angry that it is taking her this
long to chose who she wants to go with. She is going to pick me. Period.
"I..." She looks lost and torn. I ignore the urge to soothe her. This was it.
The final battle between Watcher and Vampire. It all came down to Buffy in
the end. It all came down to who had her. It was about who could hold onto
her the longest. Nothing more than a game to anyone else but this was more
important. It was about pride, dignity, dominance and even love.
Instead of stepping towards me, she stepped back, away from both of us. I
looked at her in absolute shock. She did not step towards me. I had to repeat
that just a couple times in my head before it finally registered. I was too
stunned to do anything about it either. Damnit.
"Giles, go home." She stared hard at the ground, feeling my gaze burn into
her. "Angel, I need to be alone."
I wanted to say no but I held it in. I looked at Giles expectantly and I read
disappointment on his face, I'm sure it mirrored me. I waited until he walked
away before I growled loudly, making sure she heard me perfectly clear.
Buffy looked up at me and I wouldn't have been surprised if she growled back.
We locked eyes for what seemed like forever but I growled once more and
angrily stalked back to the bedroom. I could hear sobs coming from behind the
door but I blocked her out. I was too angry to even look at her.
******
I walked out about an hour later after a huge growling session and putting
three holes in the wall with my fists. It helped relieve my anger. I stopped
short when I saw Buffy all dressed to go out. She had stakes in her waistband
and her overnight bag handy.
"Where are you going?" I ask and she starts and puts a hand to her chest.
"Damn, you scared me." She let out a sigh of relief but I could smell
lingering fear.
"Where are you going?" I repeat myself. I hate doing that.
"I'm gonna get some fresh clothes and stop by at Willow's to see how she is
doing. It is the hardest on her." Buffy said sadly. "Oz needs a little help
with her."
I nod slowly, it was good reason for her to go out. I guess she needed that,
it will give me a little time to pay a friendly visit to Giles. I mean
friendly by beating the shit out him.
"Sure. When will you be back?" I ask. Buffy shrugs nonchalantly.
"Are you coming back?" I change my question but demanding the same answer.
Buffy swallows hard, staring at me. I watch as she shivers, my body tense and
ready for an argument. "Yeah, I'll be back around two o'clock, maybe
earlier."
I smile, my body relaxed. "I'll wait up."
My mate smiles back, not one of those fake smiles, but a real blown pure
symbol of happiness. I sigh, stepping forward and catching her lips in a
kiss. I purr against her and push her against me. I don't wait for an
invitation as I push my tongue into her mouth, exploring and rediscovering.
I'm delighted at her shiver when I growl deep in my chest. I press her up
against the wall as her tongue challenges mine, teasing me until I'm about to
go completely insane. I roughly pull away from her, remembering what I had to
do tonight.
Buffy pulls me back to her before I have a chance to explain and our lips are
crushed back together. Not that I really care. My hands slide to her ass,
feeling her curves. She moans as I grind our lower bodies together.
"Wait," Buffy gasps moving away from my lips and showering kisses all of my
face. I purr against her, loving the feeling of her lips all over me.
"Willow. I have to go." She whispers huskily, even though she won't stop
kissing me. I chuckle and grasp her face in my hands, leaning our foreheads
together. Her face is flushed, her lips swollen, and she is breathing deeply.
"Slow down, there." I tease. She winds her arms around my neck and plays with
my hair.
"You better leave before I keep you here all night." I say, only half joking.
Buffy nods and catches one more kiss from me before she leaves. I take a
minute to regain my composure and whistle. I've been thinking of turning her
a few more years than expected but first thing first. That pesky Watcher
needs to be taught a lesson.
*******
I entered the library slowly, before I came here, I swung by Willow's.
Didn't stay long but just long enough to peak into her window to see Buffy
desperately trying to comfort her friend. Willow was crying quietly and was
being held by Oz. Almost a pathetic sight. Willow had real potential and
would make for a wicked vampire. Why was she weeping for someone so
insignificant?
I looked around the large stack of books. I really liked the library, not the
librarian but the library was grand. It was huge with tons of stacks that I
would love to get lost in. A large skylight above and a large mediaeval table
with comfy chairs. It would be interesting to spend a day here and just read
up on the demonology. Not that I *had* to read up on what it was like being a
demon.
I peered around, walking up the small stairs towards the books, leafing
through some. I grabbed one that I liked and sat down at the table to read.
It was only a couple of minutes until Giles walked out of his office and
discovered me. He dropped the book he was reading in surprise.
I smile at him politely. "Sorry, Rupert, did I scare you?"
"No, you didn't." He picked up book and placed it on the counter. "What are
you doing here, Angelus?"
I marked my spot in my book, placing it in my inner coat pocket. I'll
probably be bored waiting for Buffy later, it would be nice to read something
new.
"Just came to say hello to my favorite watcher." I smiled amused.
"What?" I asked, mocking hurt. "You don't believe me? Well, okay, you are not
one of my favorite Watchers, but you are ranking high up there. Don't get
discouraged." I taunt. Giles doesn't look amused and I opened my mouth to
keep baiting but the phone rang loudly. We both looked at it for a moment and
no one made a move.
"Answer your phone, Rupert, I can wait." I got all night to kick his ass,
wouldn't be fun if it ended early.
"How polite." Giles muttered sarcastically before answering the phone, his
eyes never leaving me.
"Hello? Faith! Oh my, where have you been?" Giles spoke into the receiver. My
eyes narrowed. I smell trouble.
"Are you crying? What's wrong?" Giles asked and I leapt for the phone,
ripping it away from Giles. I have to be careful.
"Faith, my dear." I say lightly. The other line was deafly quiet.
"Angel?" She asked, fear and pain filled her voice.
"Yep. I was worried when you just ran off like that." I say, turning my back
to Giles. It wasn't really smart but if he tried anything I could spin and
knock out with the phone.
"I wasn't going to tell him, I swear!" Faith cried into the phone.
"Sure, sure, of course." I say nonchalantly, barely able to hide my anger.
"No, Angel, please you have to believe me." She sobbed.
"Of course, Faith. Just remember that I got your neck... did I say neck? I
meant back." I say, causing another sharp sob from Faith and a gasp from
Giles. Two birds with one stone. I hear Giles move away from me and I
chuckle.
"Alright, Faith, I have to go now. Call me later." I say before hanging up.
"So, Giles, back to you." I turn around just in time to see the blunt side of
the battle axe heading right towards my head.
Then everything turns back.
Part 9
I woke up with the worst headache imaginable. I felt like someone was slowly
drilling in my head with a dull spoon. I know from experience that it hurts
like a bitch. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to heal the throbbing in my
head. I had to think hard if I was drinking last night. I felt next to me for
Buffy but I realized with a start that I was alone and not in my bed.
My eyes snapped open and I sat up quickly, causing further pain to my already
agonized head. I glanced around quickly, drinking in my surroundings. The
library. Giles. Axe. Fucking Watchers. Damnit! Knocked out by a Watcher, how
embarrassing. I was sitting in that stupid cage that they put Oz in when he
was turning. One hit to the door the it would give in. Easy escape.
I turn to look at the Watcher that locked me in, who was sitting on the
library table calmly. He had his trademark crossbow aimed at me. It wouldn't
do any damage to me in this blasted cage but as soon as I walk out, he could
kill me. Smart for someone going on ninety.
"I appear to be in a cage." I say, stating the absolute obvious. I pull
myself to my feet, trying to hide my anger. Didn't really work. My hands were
kept clenched because they were shaking in rage. I found myself repeatedly
unclenching my tight jaw.
"Yes, you do." The Watcher muttered.
"Why am I suddenly in a cage, Rupert?" I ask, leaning against the wall
casually.
"Frankly, I think you are a danger to be around." Giles said bluntly. "It
would be so easy to kill you right now. Nothing would make me happier."
"What's stopping you, Ripper?" I ask, addressing his other half to come out
and play.
"Buffy." Giles snapped, not taking the bait. "But soon she will see you for
the monster you really are."
"Such big threats for such an old man." I chuckle. Buffy would never leave
me. I might leave her but she would never leave me. She is afraid of being
dependent. She needs me to take of her, and I will do whatever she asks.
"Shut up. I know that you killed Xander, you son of a bitch." He hissed and I
threw my head back and laughed. The one thing I will miss about the Watcher,
he always amuses me.
"I didn't kill Xander." I lie.
"Liar." Giles snarled.
"What did you call me?" I growl. I was lying, but he didn't need to know
that. Giles was quiet, waiting for my to go on. Good old man.
"Think about it, Ripper. Do you honestly think that I am stupid enough to
kill my lover's best friend? Especially only after a couple of us getting
into an argument. I would be the only and obvious suspect. Buffy would hate
me and I wouldn't risk that." I really wish all that I was saying was true.
"Then some anonymous vampire came and broke his neck?" Giles snapped
sarcastically.
"Expand you knowledge, old mad. Who said it was a vampire?" I say slowly.
"Did you see two puncture marks? Come on! You guys are supposed to be like
detectives. I would never hire you for my cases." I tease after a long
silence.
"Who killed him, Angel?" He asked, taking the bait. I was slightly surprised
that he used my name. Not Angelus. I remain silent, staring at him with a
dark intensity.
"Tell me, damnit!" He yells after it is too much for him.
"Listen, you leave me and Buffy's relationship alone and I will tell you."
Bargaining with a Watcher, I swear, I don't know how low I've gotten
sometimes.
"You are hardly in the position to be making orders." He sneered. I lean back
quickly and kick hard at the door, it creaks and caves in under the force and
I step out of the now battered cage.
"What position am I in now?" I snarl, walking until I am right in front of
him.
"No deal." He said after a long spell of silence. I look down at the ground
for a moment, considering the next move. I did what I wanted to do all damn
day. I reeled back and punched the Watcher square in face. It was a great
feeling. It was like kissing Buffy, though not as intense. I looked down at
my hand to see my knuckles bleeding, I don't know my own strength. Giles was
now on the floor by me feet, a hand held to the right side of his face. He
would have a lovely bruise on his cheek in the morning. He spat blood on the
floor, angry at himself.
I only give him a second to regroup before I lean down and grab a handful of
his hair, pulling his neck back so I could see him. He made a choked nose but
I ignored him. The more pain the better.
"I wasn't asking, you bastard. I was *telling.* You leave me and Buffy alone,
fucking come near me again and I swear to God that I will rip your God damn
throat out." I growl, my demon features taking over my face. I drop his head
and stand up to full height.
"I would love to stay and chat but I got to go home to my mate." I watch in
delight as he shivers at the word. "We got this nightly fuck and suck thing
that we do." I whistle, raising my eyebrows.
"Your Slayer is really something." I chuckle as he cringes.
"Oh, by the way, just to be nice I thought that I'll give you a hint to
Xander's real killer. She is one of our slayers." I wink at the Watcher
curled up on the floor. I really hate to do that to Faith but it is either
her or me. I take one last look at this pathetic form before walking out.
******
"Where did you go?" A voice makes me jump as I turn by the fireplace of the
mansion. I just stepped in after a round of patrol, sunrise would be up in
only a half an hour. I was cutting it close but I couldn't get off my high of
beating the bloody pulp out something. I look at Buffy, she is wearing a
large t-shirt and flannel pants, staying by the fire to beat off the morning
chill.
"Patrol." I said, shrugging off my coat and quickly moving to sit down behind
her, taking her in my arms and pressing her up against my chest.
"Cutting it a little close?" She repsonds. I shrug and change the subject.
"How was Willow?" I ask, kissing her earlobe. I sigh of the feeling of her
against me, she was just enough to cool my adrenaline rush and make me want
to sleep forever by her side.
"Miserable. I don't know what to do to cheer her up and Oz is completely
breaking down from the stress." Buffy sighed and leaned back against me. I
released an audible sigh of pleasure of content.
"You will know what to do if something severe happens." I tried to soothe
her.
"Severe?" Whoops, wrong word. "Do you think that she will...do something to
herself?" Buffy asked, anxiety evident.
"No, no, of course not. Willow is too strong to let grief come over her." I
reassure, not really believing my owns words but if it made Buffy feel better
than it was worth it.
"Come on, lets go to bed." I urge her, pushing her up and leading her to the
bedroom.
Part 10
The phone rang loudly, waking me up from my long and fitful sleep. I really
need to disconnect that damn piece of annoying metal. I painfully
disconnected my limbs from Buffy's reaching over to smash the machine with my
fist before it woke up Buffy.
"Who is it?" She muttered, trying to get closer to me. I take a second to
regroup from the wonderful feelings of her next to me before answering the
damn phone.
"What?" I snap, my usual reply. As soon as this phone call was over I am
going to throw all phones in the house in the fire. I can remember the good
old days when there was no phones. Good times.
There was a long silence and I was about to hang up but a familiar trembling
voice sounded. "Is Buffy there?"
I was about to tell Oz to fuck off and that I was sleeping but there was
something in his voice that ushed of importance and sadness.
"She is sleeping." I say, turning to look at her peaceful form, curled up
next to mine.
"I don't care." Oz replied, his voice got loud and angry. I blinked in shock
and before I could retort back, Buffy reached over and grabbed the phone from
me. I growled slightly before leaning back down on the bed. I watched as
Buffy sleepily fell by my side, the phone cradled between her ear and her
shoulder.
"Hey Oz." She muttered, her eye lids dropping. I found myself burying my face
in her neck, willing sleep to come. I felt Buffy stiffen against me and a
gasp of pain slipped from her lips. I sat up and looked at her in concern.
Her eyes were wide and filled with tears that refused to fall and she was
shaking badly. She swallowed hard and hung up the phone, her breathing
becoming erratic.
"Buffy, calm down, what's wrong?" I asked, moving to sit in front of her.
Sobs came rushing from her throat as she stumbled out of the bed. I followed
her, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her against me.
"Shh, what happened?" I whispered against her hair. I could feel her body
trembling against me, ragged sobs tore from her throat and her tears were hot
against my bare chest.
"It's Willow." She finally managed.
******
As soon as Buffy was emotionally stable, or as emotionally stable as she
could be right now, we went out to Willow's house. It was like déjà vu.
Police and ambulances were there, just like at the high school. I could see
Willow's mother and father grieving and crying. My heart went out to Buffy
and I asked if she wanted to leave. She stubbornly refused and I was about to
throw her over my shoulder and walk away. It would save her from the pain she
was about to experience.
"Buffy!" A shout from the Watcher got out attention. He was standing inside
the police line, consoling Willow's parents. Oz and Cordelia were there also,
grieving for both of their lost love ones. Buffy quickly went over to him, I
followed with less speed.
"What...what?" Buffy sputtered, trying to find the words. More tears soaked
her cheeks.
"Police said that she killed herself last night, with a ritual dagger to the
heart." Giles said, tears also in his eyes. Buffy put a hand to her mouth to
stop the sob from escaping. After she regrouped, she turned to her Watcher
desperately.
"Are you sure that she killed herself? I know what happened was Xander was
horrible and it was never going to go away but she would be strong
enough...Willow was never..." Buffy buried her face in her hands. Giles
gathered her in a hug and I fought not to growl at him. The Watcher looked
up, finally seeming to notice me.
"Such a coincidence how two of our friends would die so closely together." He
sneered and my eyes widened with shock. This man had no heart, bringing up
something so insignificant only a couple hours after Willow's death. Buffy
would have a fit, she didn't need this right now.
I almost fell over in shock when Buffy didn't defend me or yell at Giles for
inappropriate timing. She just stepped out of his embrace and looked down at
the ground.
"How dare you..." I started to growl but was interrupted by my mate.
"You did come home very late last night." Her voice was so soft that at first
I thought I imagined it. I fell silent out of complete and utter pain and
surprise. Was she accusing me? I felt a large pain in my chest, creeping to
my entire body. I hated that she can make me feel this way, that she can make
me want to die by her words. I felt betrayed. I have no words for what I felt
at the moment.
"I didn't kill her." I said slowly, having to push the words out. I was still
trying to rid myself from these feelings of hurt.
"Where were you then?" Buffy asked. I wanted to cry out in pain and anger.
"I said that I was on patrol." I replied, my voice soft but demanding. I
stared at Buffy in complete shock when she continued to prod at me. She was
still looking down at the ground, not meeting my eyes. I think I would have
hit her if she did.
"Patrol doesn't take a whole night."
I sighed. "Fine, I was at the library. I had a little...chat with Giles." I
growl, angry that my mate didn't believe me. We both turned to Giles. He
glared at me with hatred.
"I don't know what you are talking about, Angel. I wasn't at the library last
night." He said. My eyes widened and my jaw literally dropped in shock and
anger. Buffy looked at me, confusion and disbelief evident on her face. I am
*not* being played right now. No fucking way am I going to take the fall for
Willow's death. I will not take anyone's death on my shoulders.
"Liar!" I screamed loudly, causing several police men and onlookers to stare
at us. "You fucking liar! I was at the library with you, then I went on
patrol for two hours." I shouted, knowing I was losing this battle horribly.
"Angel, calm down. Maybe you visited the library and no one was there. I know
I wasn't there." Giles said slowly, his voice full of venom and victory.
"Don't give me that shit!" I yelled at the Watcher. I turned to my mate and
held my hands up, desperately trying to get her to believe in me. She
believed me before, why can't she now?
"Buffy, Jesus, please, you have to believe me. I didn't kill her. I was at
the library with this lying prick." I spat at the Watcher, unbelieving in
what was happening.
"But you said that Willow wouldn't do something like this, you said." Buffy
whimpered, tears in her eyes and her lower lip trembling.
"I know, baby, I know that I said that but...God, I didn't think she would."
I pleaded. I don't know what was wrong with me. If Buffy was someone else I
would have punched them and told them to shut the fuck up. But this was
Buffy. I was turned to a lapdog when it came to her and I couldn't do
anything about it. I didn't really think I wanted to.
They both looked at me, their disbelief evident. Anger surged within me and I
felt like I was trapped in a box, clawing my way out.
"I didn't kill Willow!" I screamed loudly.
"Then what about Xander?" Giles yelled back and the question caught me by
surprise but I recovered quickly.
"I already told you that I didn't kill him. Jesus, what do I have to do to
prove myself to you people! I do everything you ask," My eyes locked with
Buffy and she looked ashamed.
"I went to hell for you!" I screamed. "I took care of you when you were sad
about Xander. I was neglected by your friends and pushed away over and over
but I took it and did nothing back but no more! I am not a fucking mat you
could just walk all over!" I yelled loudly, my body trembling with the force.
All my anger was surged forward and I felt pained.
"Every time something goes wrong, you blame me. Well, I'm sorry, but I refuse
to be your whipping boy any longer. So blame me for shit I didn't do, I don't
really give a fuck about it anymore." I pause in my screaming, my throat raw
and my eyes stung. Was that tears I felt forming in my eye. I rapidly blink
them away. Master vampires don't cry over humans.
"The only thing I did give a damn about," I lock eyes with Buffy and she sobs
harshly. A sound that would have made my heart bleed but it was blocked by my
haze of hurt and rage. "betrays me when I needed her the most."
"Angel..." Buffy whispers, it was more like a sob, and reaches out for me but
I push her away harshly.
"Don't touch me." I snap, my demon features take over and I snarl at her. I p
ushed her roughly into Giles. I feel like a wounded animal and I hope that my
mate stays back before I do something I might regret. Giles held her back as
I stalked away from the scene.
******
I lay in bed, unable to sleep. I was simply staring at the ceiling, not
really thinking about anything. Not thinking about Buffy or Giles. Nothing.
Simply just...existing. I knew that I would forgive Buffy for her betrayal,
she was my mate after all. But it still hurt. She called me a day after the
scene at Willow's but as soon as it the damn phone rang, I grabbed all of
them and threw them into my large fireplace. I watched them burn with glee.
Damn machines. Guess Buffy will just have to walk over here and prove her
apology to me in person.
Part 11
I waited patiently for three days until Buffy finally came to the mansion. It
the day of Willow's funreal. She must have just came from it. She was wearing
all black, a black dress and a black hat. She had no makeup on, it was
probably all cried off. My Slayer had to bury two of her best friends all in
the same month. I would have felt bad for her if I wasn't so wrapped up in
betrayal. It was strange how I couldn't get over that, I probably never will.
I was sitting near the fireplace, thinking about nothing again. Just watching
the embers dance along the woods. I must have zoned out for several hours
because the next thing I know, Buffy is right in front of me. Her hand was on
my shoulder, gently shaking me out of my revere.
"Oh, hey, sorry. Didn't see you there." I said, ignoring her sorrowful and
apologetic looks. I stood up, walking over to my couch, to put some distance
between us. It burns my skin to be around her.
"It's okay." She fiddles with her purse, sniffling slightly. I waited for her
to continue, waiting for her to drop on her knees and apologize.
"I just... I just wanted to say that..." She took deep breaths, tears already
forming in her eyes. She looks helpless but I made no move to make her more
comfortable.
"I lost two of my friends, I don't want to loose another one." She finally
whispered, looking up at me puppy-eyed. Tears fall on her cheeks. "I know
that you probably don't even want to look at me and I'm so sorry that I
didn't stand up for you when Giles said that." Buffy sobbed and she quickly
put a hand on her mouth to control herself.
"Why didn't you?" I asked, finally speaking after a spell.
"I don't know. I know that you didn't kill Willow or Xander. I know that you
would never do something like that. I don't deserve you when you do nothing
but help me and make me happy and I just make you miserable." Buffy rapidly
whiped at her tears and I waited once more.
"I just also wanted to say that...I didn't want to send you to Hell, I swear,
I had no choice. God, if I could take it all back I would let the world be
damned, if only it meant a few more minutes with you." She said, her lower
lip trembling. I take a sharp unneeded breath, something I haven't done in a
long time, at the mention of Hell. I part of me stilled blamed her. Always
will. I wanted to yell at her, to throw her damn apologies back in her face.
I wanted to send her to Hell for fucking hundreds of years and see how she
liked it.
"I hated you." I spoke, my eyes locking with hers. I showed no emotion, no
anger or rage or hurt. All that I was feeling was locked away for the moment.
"When you chose Giles's crazy rantings over me, I hated you. I wanted nothing
more than to hurt you, like you hurt me. It was like someone pulled out my
heart with their bare hands." I was very aware that my lips turned into a
scowl. Buffy sobbed into her hands and I knew I was hurting her with my words
but I didn't care. I wanted her to be hurt. I wanted to break her over and
over again. Just like I was.
"But I forgive you, like I always do." I said with a sigh. I didn't really
want to forgive her. I wanted her to go a year without me, just to give her a
taste of being alone if something happened like this again. Yet, I just can
never deny her.
"Come here." I whisper softly, opening my arms to her. She pauses only for a
second before rushing into my arms, sobbing harshly against my neck. I ran a
soothing hand under her shirt, rubbing her back gently. She muttered
apologies against me and I kissed her hair. I pulled her down to sit on the
couch, holding her as her sobs faded and her eyes shut. I knew she wasn't
sleeping, even though she pretended to be. She was savoring the moment. I
never really took time to savor anything anymore.
I knew I would have Buffy the rest of my life. I could savor all I want then,
but to be doing that now is saying that this will be last time I will see
her. I play with her soft hair, twirling it in my fingers. Simply enjoying
the feeling of her next to me once again.
*******
My over sensitive senses made me jerk awake. I quickly laid back down, trying
not to disturb my slumbering Slayer. She was curled up against me in the most
content way. I slowly manuvered out of her grip, desprately trying not to
wake her. I turned towards the source that woke me up.
Faith.
I kind of knew that I would see her again soon. She was thinner than I
remembered, gaunt with dark bags under her eyes. Guess the hot-shot wasn't so
tough. She was still probably remembering Xander's face in her every waking
moment. She glanced towards Buffy sleeping on the couch and a look of regret
crossed over her features. I frowned at her and idicated towards the garden.
I didn't want Buffy to wake up hearing what I knew the other Slayer and I
were about to discuss.
"Faith. You look..." I trailed off and shrugged. Well, at least I tried to
make a compliment.
"I know, horrible." She gave me an uneasy smile before her usual frown came
back. I put a hand on her shoulder.
"Faith, let it go, it's over. You had nothing to do with Xander." I tried to
reassure her. I hate sucking up but wrong move, she would go running to
Giles. Knowing Buffy, she will probably side with that prick anyway. Ouch, I
cursed myself. Time to forgive and forget. Yeah. Right.
"Like hell I didn't!" She yelled and I gave her a look, angrily placed a
finger to my lips, quickly signaling her to be quiet. I glanced back inside,
making sure that Buffy was still sleeping on the couch.
"What are you so worried about, Faith?" I snapped at her. "Your fragile
concious can't take this kind of pressure? Is your bad childhood affecting
you now?" I snarl, angry that she is back in Sunnydale. This raises my
chances of being discovered. I just got Buffy back, I can't let her leave me
again. She came back to my because she couldn't handle being independent. I
want her to be dependent on me, no one else.
Faith glared at me, reaching for her stake in her waistband.
"You know what? I'm not scared of you anymore. Which means that I can easily
kill you right now. Lets not foget who is the slayer and who is nothing more
than the prey." She snarled. Brave bitch.
"You can't kill me, Faith." I smile.
"Why not? You killed Xander, why can't I kill you?" She tauned, slowly
starting to circle around me. I continue to smile.
"What will Buffy think of you when I am nothing more than ashes? Isn't that
what you really want Faith? Acceptance? You can have it." I promise her. I
liked her, I really did, but there comes a point when everyone has to fend
for themselves.
"Don't fuck with me. I know all you want is my silence, you don't care about
me. No one does. But I accept that, so you have to accept that only one of us
is going to walk away from this." She tilted her chin up proudly and
victoriously. Another dead body found would mean Hell for me. The only way
out of this is calling for Buffy, Faith wouldn't do anything when she was
around. Yet, who am I to hide behind Buffy? I'm not a coward.
"Do you really want to do this, Faith?" I ask, trying to get out of this. If
Faith attacks, I know I will kill her.
"I have to do what is right for a change." Faith took a deep breath then
attacked.
*******
I ducked a hard punch and her fist connected with the wall. She cursed loudly
and I wondered how Buffy could still be sleeping. My leg shout out,
connecting with her stomach. She stumbled a couple steps back but countered
quickly. I took a punch to the gut, then to the jaw. I fell hard on my back
when she sweeped my legs out from under me. She pounced on me, pushing her
stake down but I quickly moved out of the way.
I rolled to my feet, Faith getting to hers. I punched her across the face,
then backhanded her. She spat blood against the floor before charging at me.
She hit me around the stomach and I grunted loudly. She pushed me up against
the wall, her stake aiming for my heart. It was now or never. One wrong more,
one hesitation I was dead. I reached out quickly, grabbing her face in my
hands and then twisting violently.
The Slayer fell limply to the ground.
"Shit!" I spat blood. I kneeled down beside her, gently brushing hair from
her face. She was really a beautiful woman when it came down to it. I sighed.
I really liked her.
A gasp snapped me out of my thoughts and my head shot up.
My wide eyes landing right on Buffy, who was standing in the doorway, looking
at me and the dead Slayer.
Part 12
Buffy screamed. The sound hurt my ears and I winced at the sharp pained
noise. She turned and started running away from me.
"No! Buffy!" I screamed, pushing myself off the ground, practically stumbling
over Faith's prone body as I tried to reach my hysteric lover. I couldn't let
her leave me. I wouldn't let her. I caught up with her before she reached the
mansion door. I grabbed her tightly around the waist, pulling her to me. She
screamed out of terror and pain desperately trying to get out of my grip.
"No! No! Let me go, please!" Buffy pleaded, crying as she did so. Why was she
crying? She didn't even like Faith.
"Buffy, stop it. I didn't mean to kill her, she attacked me and I could do
nothing about it. It was me or her, please." I pleaded with her but she
wouldn't stop struggling against me. It was getting annoying. She didn't
trust me? She knew that I would never hurt. Her struggling stopped after a
few painful minutes but I didn't loosen my grip.
"You killed them. You killed them all." She whispered, her voice trembling.
"Giles was right."
"No." I snapped harshly and she jumped. I winced. "I'm not going to hurt you,
stop doing that. I love you, Buffy. I could never hurt you." I plead with her
to stop being scared of me. A part of me likes the dominance but I like my
women with fire and passion. Buffy's voice is dead.
"I didn't kill Willow. Xander and Faith were a mistake, I swear, Buffy." I
replied against the back of her neck. I was still holding her in my death
grip and if I loosened it a bit, she would run. I felt her tears fall on me.
Why did she always seem to be crying?
"They just wouldn't stop fighting me. I had to do it, Buffy. I won't be
pushed around anymore. Please, try to understand." Everything was slowly
fading around me and I shook my head to push off my insanity.
"Oh God," Buffy whispered, a sob caught in her throat. She pressed all her
weight on me, sagging against me, her legs unstable. I loosened my grip on
her stomach, afraid she was going to vomit. I slowly lowered us to the ground
until we were both sitting, her back against my chest. I held her tightly,
afraid she would try and run.
"You can't leave me, Buffy." I whisper, slowly starting to rock us back and
forth. "I won't be able to live without you."
Buffy sobbed, hanging her head down. She placed on hand ontop of mine, crying
silently.
"I know that you feel the same way." I said. "We are meant to be together,
Buffy." She had to see everything I did. I needed her to know that I loved
her and that I would always take care of her. She is just shocked right now,
that's all. She will get over it and forgive me. Just like I forgave her. Its
like a repeating cycle. We all make mistakes.
"You killed them." She whispered again, her voice trembling.
"I know, and I'm sorry, baby, I really am. But we can be happy now, no one to
stop us. We could be together." I faltered. "You want that, don't you?"
I frowned at the long silence. She was shaking against me and her sobs have
stopped, all that remained were her tears.
"Tell me that you want to be with me." I snap, my voice growing louder and
bordering between panic and anger. Silence. I felt hysteria creeping up my
spine, insanity clouding my mind.
"I love you." She whispered finally, defeat and pain in her voice. I smile
slightly. I knew she loved me. True love can't be beaten. That is what we
have, my lover and I. Something so pure and untainted that it survives
anything. I know it can survive this.
"I love you too, forever." I say. "Forgive me." I demand. It was like getting
forgiveness from God. Angelus didn't really mean Angelic Face, it was really
the church bell that rang signaling for prayer in the old times. Darla
thought it was a great name for someone who would kill as soon as the church
bell rung. Darla was a sick woman.
Buffy sobbed, shaking her head violently. I blinked, anger and hurt filling
me to the brink. Why is she being so difficult right now? We love each other,
that is all that matters
"You have to, Buffy. I forgave you, why can't you do the same for me?" I
demanded to know.
"Angel..." She whispered brokenly.
"You love me!" My volume was bordering on screaming. "Now forgive me."
"I forgive you." She forced out. She was shivering badly and I knew what she
said, she didn't mean. She was just trying to suck up to me, trying to get me
to let her go so she can run away.
"You need me, Buffy, and I need you. What will be if we don't have each
other?" I asked, forcing her to see it my way. She is young and does not know
the strength and meaning of the special bond between us. My Slayer probably
thinks that this is some love that you can discard and find another one just
like it. But she can't.
I wiped her tears away with my thumb, kissing her cheek. She made no
movement, just stared straight ahead, occasionally wiping at her tears or
sniffling.
"Are you okay, now?" My grip was loosening.
"I love you, Angel." She whispered after a long spell. "No matter what you
do...or what I do, I always will love you." She bit her lower lip as tears
continued to fall. She spoke as if it was the last time we will see each
other. I wouldn't let her leave the mansion. I was thinking of packing up and
moving away with her. Maybe back to Ireland. She would love it there.
"Would you like to live with me, baby?" I whispered against her ear, kissing
her earlobe. She nodded numbly and she squeezed my hand. I smiled slightly.
There. Everything is looking better already. Fuck Giles and his stupid
righteousness. Buffy and I are one.
"I need to lie down, I'll be better in the morning." She assured me, wiping
at the tears that would stop. I nod and release her, certain that she
wouldn't run. I stand up but she remains seated on the cold floor.
"Just give me a moment." Buffy whispers, her voice hoarse from the constant
crying.
"Of course." I whisper and turn towards the kitchen. I will tuck her in my
bed after I make a nice cup of tea. Then I will have to decide what to do
with Faith's body. Probably bury her, she deserved a proper burial. I heard
Buffy get up, probably heading over to the couch to lay down.
I was only a couple of steps away from the kitchen was a very sharp pain hit
my chest. I gasped in pain and surprise. I slowly looked down to see a stake
producing from my chest. In my heart. Everything seems to go in slow motions
and the nanoseconds seem to stretch for hours. It was a funny kind of pain. I
know I should be in agony with something wooden sticking out of me, but I
don't feel anything.
I stumbled on my own feet as I turn around to stare at Buffy, if I could just
get one last look then I would be pleased. The look that I got was not one I
wanted.
She was standing right behind me, tears streaming down her cheeks. A sob came
from her throat as we locked eyes. Confusion filled me. What happened? Did
someone attack me? Is Buffy hurt?
The realization hit me. Hard. No one attacked me.
Buffy did it.
It dawned on me and I guessed it showed in my eyes and she reached out for me
, sobbing as she did so. I felt tears well in my eyes. My lover killed me.
She lied and then stabbed me in the back. My pain seemed to stretch for
eternity as did my death. I felt myself slowing fading away. Everything
seemed to be getting darker and darker. My head was filled of thoughts of
betrayal and confusion.
I didn't reach back for her as her skin neared closer to me. I loved my Buffy
and I finally realized that only reason she said 'I love you' so many times
only minutes before. She was saying good-bye. I could hear her desperate sobs
and her silent apologies but they meant nothing. The greatest betrayal
imaginable, by my only love.
"Buffy..." My voice so full of pain and hurt that it sounded foreign to my
ears.
And just like someone turned off a light switch, everything turns black.
|
