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Sprit like My Heart's
AUTHOR: Miya
E-MAIL: violetsilver@edsamail.com.ph
DISCLAIMER: I really don't own Angel. Not even the dancer in the story since she and well, Angel, was conceived by the almighty Joss Whedon. In fact he, David Greenwalt, WB and FOX, owns the whole show. I also don't own Giselle. That wonderful piece of dance history was created/choreographed by Marius Petipa.
SUMMARY: The dancer's story in WITW. Before and after the spell.
SPOILER: Waiting in the Wings and much of season 3
A/N: I haven't watched the episode yet, so there are going to be inconsistencies. And I'm not going to change them. They're important for the story. This'll become B/A I swear.
A/N2: I admit, I will go into a lot of very detailed stuff about ballet that only dancer's would know or understand. Again, I'm not going to leave them out. (Even if my beta says so, thank goodness I haven't sent this out yet) Giselle is one of my favorite ballets, so I treat it with utmost respect. Oh and to help you guys to 'visualize', I've included the meanings of the ballet steps at the bottom. You know the ones with *
RATING: A rousing (rousing not arousing) PG
Angel stared at the diary he held in his hand. After the ballet he wanted to find out everything about the dancer he had watched on two different centuries. She intrigued him. How she could endure the pain that was caused by her love for Stefan and what the count did to her was amazing. He recognized in her certain strength and spirit that he only saw in a few people. Cordelia being one of them. But the other one, well, his heart hurt with just the thought of her. Yes, the other one with that spirit was Buffy. And it was more alive in her than in anybody else. Except for the dancer.
When he came home, he just had this urge to find out about the dancer's life. So he decided to go on-line, hoping to find something about her.
The search led him to a site that listed old dancers and to a store in LA that had old books. The dancer had kept a diary. That diary was sold to a proprietor. And now Angel held it in his hands.
Carefully, he opened the first page. The dancer's flowing script was revealed. Soon, he became engulfed in her words.
Part 2
September 5th 1873
I am now starting this diary. I decided to start this so I wouldn't feel so lonely here. I'm studying at the Academe de Ballets here in Paris. Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. May name is Anna Katarina Somanilikov. Yes, I am Russian. There is nothing wrong with that.
I'm afraid that other people might think that I shouldn't be here. Or that they will think I would not make a good ballerina. But I will prove them wrong. I will be as great as Marie Taglionni. Probably even better.
I admit I got into the Academe by pure luck. I was the second one chosen at the auditions in Moscow. The first girl was not allowed by her parents to live in Paris, so I was sent instead. I would've loved to stay in the school in Russia, but this is too great an opportunity to pass up. The Academe has trained many famous dancers. I shall be one of them too.
Oh, I have to close now. Class is starting in ten minutes and I would like to warm-up my muscles.
September 7th 1873
Madame. Allainz (my teacher) has told me I am doing better. I see my improvements as well. My *arabesque penche is higher. My *fouettes are much sharper than before. She has even complemented me on technique! She has recommended the headmaster to see me in class. There might be a possibility of me joining the master classes.
Nicole (my roommate) and I met the most wonderful boy last night at the company's performance. His name is Stefan. He is sweet and funny. He seems to know a lot about ballet. He says he helped Carlotta Grisi with her bags once. How lucky!
Marianne, a girl in class, does not like me. She said that the Academe must train only French, never others. She is only jealous because my *adagio looks more beautiful than hers.
*****
Angel smiled at her first entries. She seemed so young and carefree. So innocent.
"How could this sweet girl be caught up in all that trouble?" he asked himself.
Suddenly a voice came from behind him.
"Sir, the store has been closed for while now. Would you like to buy that book?"
"Oh, yes. I would."
<I forgot about the time> Angel thought as he raced his car back to Hyperion. The sun was starting to peek out of the clouds. He knew the others might be worried. <Probably not Cordy though, seeing as she's busy with Groo>
"Angel, where have you been?" Wesley asked.
"Around. I had something to look into." He vaguely answered. He entertained more of their questions then slowly went up to his room.
His mind was filled with thoughts of Anna Katarina. There was something about her. Her words, her thoughts had something familiar about them. And that wasn't the 'vibe' he had the first time he saw her.
Then it hit him. She was so much like Buffy. The sprit that he noticed before, but also drive and innocence. Buffy had been like that, especially when he first saw her.
His heart ached. As it always did when he thought about Buffy. <How can I be reminded of her, hurt by the thought of her, when Cordelia's here now? >
"Cordelia isn't here. She's with Groo." He said to himself. He went back to his reading. But not without thinking how silly it was to be reminded of a Slayer by a ballerina.
Part 3
May 11th 1876
My life has just taken a drastic turn. I have been studying under the best teachers in Paris, yet I have been denied a role in a dance. It went to 'dear' Marianne, my old roommate. She is not even that good. I know I sound bitter, but I still feel I should have been awarded that role. I am always being looked over for many things because of Marianne or some other French girl. Always my different nationality gets in the way. Why should it? Aren't Dagliliev's Ballet Russes the most popular company these days? I know I am talented. Even Stefan has said so. But I suppose my time will come. One day I would dance the best roles. I could even become Giselle. Stefan told me that he'd heard Marianne is being supported by a count. 'Great' I thought, 'She even has a sponsor.' And then it hit me. Marianne must've gotten the role because of the count's influence. Is that the only way to rise from the *corps? I certainly hope not. That would be unfair to the other dancers.
*****
"Angel, wake up!" Wesley yelled through Angel's door. "Cordy's gotten a vision."
"I'm up. What it is it?" he asked as he put on a shirt.
"A demon attacking a girl at the basement of a building. We thought it best you go through the sewers."
Wesley stared at Angel as he emerged from the room. He looked haggard and groggy. And not because morning's his bedtime.
"Haven't you been sleeping well? I certainly hope it's not a blonde out to seduce you in your dreams again."
Angel stopped at his tracks.
"Of course not. Darla killed herself remember. And Buffy still is too confused to anything like that." (A/N: How does he know?)
"Then what is it?" Wesley inquired, somewhat relieved that Angel wasn't going to crazy again.
"I just haven't been sleeping well." Then off they went.
Cordelia greeted the two as they got back. Gunn had spent the night at Fred's.
"So, the thing's gone right?" she asked.
"Yes." Angel answered, smiling. Even if Cordy was now a half-demon, she still harbored some violent reactions to demons.
"Good. That's one vision down. A lot more to go. Ugh, whatever the PTB does to me to make these visions feel a whole lot more not painful, I still don't like them."
Angel grinned at her. She was the only person who made him laugh these days. Okay, the only person after his son. Sure she doesn't project heroism as Buffy does, she still honestly cared.
He shook his head again. He didn't want to think about Buffy.
"Angel. Is something bothering you?" Cordelia asked him.
"No, why?"
"Well, your mind seemed going all over. What are you thinking about? And hopefully nothing about certain small blondes."
"Nothing really. I swear. Nothing."
"Okay. Oh did you find out anything else about the ballerina. You told me yesterday you wanted to find out more about her." Angel looked at the floor. "No. Not yet."
*****
May 26th 1876
Something horrible has just happened. Marianne was found dead this morning. Her body had brutally stabbed. She had bruises all over her. Classes have been cancelled. The whole school is in mourning. Yes, even me. I did like her a bit. Who could have done such a dreadful thing?
June 3rd 1876
I am beginning to think the count has something to do with Marianne's death. Count Kursov was last seen with Marianne according to the newspapers. But how can such a notable person do such a thing? Stefan told me that sometimes rich people do odd things. Maybe he's right. Speaking of Stefan, I find myself spending much of my time with him. Nicole said too much time. She had to remind me that Mdme. Allainz frowns on the girls spending time with boys. Only with sponsors does she agree. Reluctantly. But I do not care. Stefan is fun to be with. He understands me. He does not treat me as a foreigner or as a celebrity, as many in town treat us ballet students. He treats me as I want to be treated. Normal. As Anna. With him, I forget all about roles I failed to get. And he always tells me that I am talented and beautiful. With Stefan, I am free. I am free to dance in the streets like a lunatic. I am free to laugh out loud. I am free to do things the Academe doesn't want me to do. Is it possible that I am falling in love with him?
TBC....
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