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Title: Missing Socks 2: Curse of the Evil Dryer from Hell
Author: Diana (mikonoda@bellsouth.net)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Property of the almighty Joss, and all affiliated
with him.
Timeline: The future. AU.
Spoilers: No spoilers, except for Angels shanshu.
Synopsis: That damn dryer just keeps coming back to haunt Buffy, and also
Angel likes to fold clothes when it is entirely too early to be folding
clothes in the first place.
Distribution: I follow a strict "want, take, have" policy. Tell me where
it's going, though.
A/N: Remember when I said that I, quote-unquote probably wouldn't do a
sequel? I lied! HA HA HA HA HA! *sigh* The fluff in this chapter is
going to give you cavities.
Feedback: Yes, please! Is it funny? Should I just stop, because I
obviously have no concept of the word humor?
Rating: PG-13. Probably just language.
MISSING SOCKS 2: CURSE OF THE EVIL DRYER FROM HELL
*THUD!*
*THUMP!*
This time, instead of that creeping bafflement I had last time, I knew what
was going on when I woke up to what was most likely Angel banging on the
drying with a hammer at six in the morning. At least, that was what it
*sounded* like. And, given Angels current out-of-the-norm behavior I
wasn't about to put it past him.
*CRASH!*
I grabbed one of his t-shirts from inside the closet and started walking
briskly towards the basement. Angel! I yelled angrily, knowing he could
hear every word, This is the second time you've woken your wife up WAY too
early on a weekend. Let me repeat that: the SECOND time. As in more than
one, which is entirely too many; it should be limited to one or less. I
don't care if that stupid dryer was trying to disembowel you when you woke
up this morning, you don't do things that are inhuman like that. I swear
to God, nobody else has a fiance who climbs around inside dryers at 6
AM! Only YOU have creepy habits like that! And I am so sick of it
My tirade lasted me down to the basement, where I found Angel standing
beside the dryer in those sexy drawstring pants, the ones that made me want
to jump him on sight, looking guiltily at his feet. I crossed my arms and
waited for his explanation like a mother looking at a child holding a
spilled glass of milk.
It took the sock, he said bashfully. again.
I groaned loudly and said, Do you realize that NORMAL humans WAIT to do
the laundry until the rest of the world is awake at least?! Hes been on
the earth for, like, a bazillion years you'd think he'd learn something
important like that. I'll bet even DEMONS don't do something evil like
search for socks at six in the morning. Not even Chaos demons.
You wouldn't have heard me if it hadn't taken the sock! Angel defended
himself.
God, I muttered, Its probably that same demonic sock, too, isn't it?
Angel nodded vigorously, It is. I tried to find it, too.
I know, I replied, Your method of looking for things lost in the dryer
is to climb on top of it and jump up and down while wearing wooden clogs.
It wasn't THAT loud, he protested.
I rolled my eyes, Angel, believe me, honey, it was THAT loud. It woke me
up. Me, Buffy. Remember? Buffy, One Who Can Sleep Through
Hurricanes? Buffy, One Who Bears Strong Resemblance To a Log or a Dead
Person When Sleeping? That Buffy is the one you have inexplicably managed
to wake up early TWO Saturdays in a row.
Fine, he said, I won't get the laundry done early. Well, except for
now, because all I need is that stupid sock.
I groaned again and tried to remember why I agreed to marry this man in the
first place. Probably the great sex, and because I am convinced that in a
past life Angel was a master chef. The pasta he makes is comparable to a
five-star Italian restaurant.
You do this one more time and I break the engagement. I threatened,
waving my fist in the air.
Thats a little drastic, isn't it? asked Angel.
No, I replied, looking pointedly at him and then the dryer.
Angel sighed and bent down and look inside the dryer again, when.
Thud!
He yelped and jumped back, bringing a hand up to his forehead. Owww!
I couldn't help it; I started laughing.
Stop laughing at me, he whined, jumping around in pain. I disregarded
him and continued to howl in laughter.
You know you did the exact same thing last time too? I wheezed
between giggles, clutching at my stomach and bending over.
Its the dryer! he said, Its evil!
I'm so totally sure, Angel, I said, getting control over my laughter and
standing back up to face him. He looked so cute in that moment, holding
his forehead and I suddenly remembered why I love him so much. He would
fold clothes in the morning so I wouldn't have to do it later.
Aw, I said affectionately, Come here, you big baby. I walked over to
him and embraced him tightly.
He wrapped his sturdy arms around me and cuddled me close, burying his head
in my shoulder. His muffled voice said, I love you, Buffy.
I know, I replied tenderly, I love you too, you exasperating lug. Even
if I'm too fed up from yelling at you to actually tell you, you know I do.
He squeezed me, and kissed my neck gently then disentangled himself. Go
back to bed, Buffy.
Only if you stop looking for that damn sock and come with me, I said to
him with a smile, We'll buy new socks. *Better* socks.
And never wash them, continued Angel.
I mock-glared at him as we climbed the stairs together, We will too wash
the new socks. We won't dry them though, we'll hang them outside.
Angel laughed, and it was a rumbling sound that made me tingle inside. If
you say so. But I'm still going to find that sock, and then I'm going to
derive a great deal of pleasure in taking it apart, strand by strand. He
had a maniacal glint in his eyes.
Youre a sadistic bastard, Angel. Sometimes you act like you were evil
for many centuries. But thats crazy talk, isn't it?
It certainly is, he agreed, Because vampires just don't get souls and
turn human. He placed a hand on my back as we approached our bedroom door
and rubbed my back lightly.
We smiled at each other, and entered our bedroom together, then carefully
shut the door behind us.
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